Mandee K.

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Wow one year ago today I was going into surgery scared to death about what was about to happen.   When I look back at where I was a year ago i'm actually speechless.  I thought I was the "happy go lucky fat girl"   today when I think about it I was not living at all I was simply exisisting.   One year ago today I was 30 years old and 449 lbs.   I was a type II diabetic taking several medications a day to manage my blood sugars,  I was one cholesterol medication, high blood preessure had failed at home sleep study and was on my way to needing a cpap machiene.   I didn't like to go out because it was too much of a chore!  Doing anything outside my house I had to worry about how far i would have to walk, if there was room for me, if there was a chair i would fit into, could I sit in the chair or would I break it,   I had no energy to do anything.   Shopping for clothes was not fun at all because nothing fit I was in a size 36 W pant a 4x shirt or 28/30.  I remember not even wanting to take my measurements becasue I wanted to live in denial.  Oh and I had a hard time finding a before pic cause I hated the camera :)  

What a difference a year makes  :) today i weigh 253 lbs (yep 196 lbs gone forever).  I now have a A1C of 5.2 with 0 Medcations to manage it infact the only meds I have to take today are My Vitamins :)  I much more outgoing and have started to break out of my shell that my weight kept me in.  I have had the oppertunity to do so many great things I am not affraid to venture into new places in fear I won't fit :).    I have gone on hikes and signed up for 5 k walks, I do yoga and participate in dance classes.    I love to get out and exersise.   I use the pool  in my complex( average summer temp at my house 110)  which i never used before :).  I no longer drive around the parking lot over and over until i can find a close parking spot.  I now wear a size 22 or 24 pant sometimes even 20 if it streches a little.  I wear a 18/20 shirt i'm a size 2 at torrid and speaking of torrid oh my heck i have a new addiction and that is shopping i love love love it :).   Today i'm new person and I can say I am living life. 

I know i still have a ways to go the Dr. set my goal weight at 150 so i have another 100 lbs  and I'm so excited continue on my journey.   For those of you who are new, contemplating surgery, or coming up on your surgery dates i'd love to share a little bit that has helped me.

- Set small goals  and celebrate the small things! when i started and realized i had 300 lbs to lose all I could think is I will never make it!  I set small little goals for myself like lose 10 lbs, weight under 300, reach 250, etc.   I also made non scale goals like fit in a booth, fit in a 24, be able to put a seat bealt on, walk a mile with out being winded. 
- don't weigh every day!   For the first 8 months I chose only to weigh at the surgeons office and to only weight once a month.   let me tell you it helped so much.  I didn't focus on the scale.  I have noticed that since i started weighing at home it consumes me and i freak out if i gain a few ounces.
-use your support systems ,  my friends and family are great!  I love the OH message boards and even more I love my home support group!
-change your behaviors... the surgery isn't my magic key to being happy.  I needed to change the way i think, the way I do things, food isn't my comfort anymore :)
-stay positive!   the past year hasn't been rainbows and butterflies for me but I try to find the good in it all.... like when i eat and get sick i think damn i can't eat that again haha but I don't dwell are cry about the fact i get sick when i eat steak !

One year ago 449 lbs                            Me today :)

So a few weeks after I had surgery I went with some friends on a trip to Las Vegas and two of them were avid hikers.   They wanted me to go on a hike with them in Redrock Canyon, but needless to say I was still almost 400 lbs and really not in the shape to hike not to mention I had just had surgery a month prior.  We decided in one year I would return to Vegas with them and Hike my little heart out.   Imagine my suprise when I recieve a text from the same friends two weeks ago letting me know they would be in vegas on 4/19 and wanted me to meet them for a hike!!!!  My first thought was oh EFF I am not ready for this!!!!   I still have 4 months until my one year dang it!!!!  but then I came back to reality I have lost 160 lbs walk 2-3 miles a day I CAN do this.   So on Tuesday 4/19/11 I went on my first hike in Redrock Canyon.

We chose La Madre Spring trail a little over a 3.5 mile hike

here we are starting out. My friends were so great they took pictures of me starting the hike and getting to the top and the cheered me on the whole way!

Now lets talk about the hike so  3.5 miles didn't seem to bad to me and honestly it wasn't too bad until i got to the last 1/2 mile before the top!!! I think that was the longest 1/2 mile of my life!  (did I mention this climbs 700 feet  kind of a lot for this first time hiker)  A few times I thought forget it i'm not going to make it you guys just go on a ahead (did i mention they did the most difficult trail earlier that morning so they already had 10 miles under their belt)  I stopped for a breather just before the top and my friends must have told some people up ahead because hikers coming down were cheering me on... Honestly my friends were the best :)  
Here are a few pics of the trail ( i didn't take my camera out on the trail so all the pics are from the website but one of my friends took a ton of pics i'll have to wait for her to send me some before i post them)
The start of the trail up not too bad........i can' find the steep pics but coming down was a lot easier I can just say that


When I reached this point I felt like I was treking accross the desert and just found my oasis!   It was here that I realized I accomplished a huge feat that I would never have even tried had I not had my RNY

 In the right hand corner there is a rock where I sat to rest up for my trip down and while there a gentle breeze I sat there and took in the great feeling of accomplishment!

So today i reached my first goal 150 Lbs gone for good!   I am finally under 300 lbs for the first time since jr. high and honestly I have a long way to to go but for the first time in my life i feel beautiful!


Pre OP                                                                                 150 lbs gone for good! 3/22/11

 I always have just looking the Mirror and still saw the girl who weighed 449 lbs.   even though I have lost over 131 lbs ( i only weight once a month so it maybe a little more )  Anyway today on facebook some friends had asked if i would share some new pictures so I decdied to do a progression album  and I couldn't believe the difference.   I have decided that not only will I weigh once a month but I will take a new full body pic too!   I am sure you all can relate to being so self consious that you only took head shots :)

Anyway here is my progression

3 months before surgery my only real before picture since I hated pics


3 month post op Nov 9 down 81 lbs ( cheesey mirror shot i know)


6 months and 131 lbs gone for good (another cheesey mirror shot)

I haven't blogged for a while but I have to share my excitment.    First of all i'm 6 months post op and I am down 131lbs.   It has slown down which has be scared but i'm working through it.    But I will tell you a ton of exciitng things are happening.    I  was looking at a picutre of me wearing a pair of pants I felt were a good size for me but when I looked at the picture I realized they were way too big!   As you can see

so I bought a pair of pants that are 2 sizes smaller yes 2 sizes smaller I was extra excited about that.   The next exciting thing is I was on a trip in Las Vegas and we went to eat the hostess sat us in a booth and the first thought that ran through my head was " ohhhh hell this isn't going to work"  but I thought I would try it out and exciting enough I fit!!!! and I fit comfortably!  It is amazing to me how little things excite me.   On this trip I walked my booty off and wasn't tired at all all I can say is I thank god for my second chance at life :)

 Let me begin by saying I only weigh once a month and only on my Doctors scale.    I have been putting it off as my 4 months was on the 12.  I have been scared because I've been eating more and not really noticing a change in the way I look ( I never have) .    Anyway yesterday I did I stepped on the scale and to my surprise i lost almost 30 lbs this month bring my total to 110!

I now realize that I eat more because I don't eat a few bites and throw up I can actually keep it down. Little miracles happen to me everyday.    This to the average person may not seem like a big deal but for me they are huge.   I can actually use seat belt!   I can walk over a mile with feeling like i'm ready to die or even having to stop every 100 feet.  I find the furthest parking spot and I'm ok with it :) and I washed my jeans in HOT water and even dried them and i'm not scared that i will have to re stretch them out :) .  My rny was the best choice i have ever made 

I'm 6 weeks out and I'm feeling great!  I find myself able to walk further without being out of breath!!!   I can climb stairs better.  I went to vegas with some friend and could walk without getting extra tired.  Oh and did i mention I'm not longer in the 400's as of today I am 391 and I have lost 58 lbs that I will never see again

Wow it has been a while since i have been on here.   Yesterday was 3 weeks since my surgery and I'm feeling great.   Sometimes I don't even feel like i had surgery and tend to over do things.   I haven't had much time to blog so I thought I would jot down what my surgery experience was like.  

I had to be at the hospital at 1 o'clock that afternoon.   The did all my pre op stuff and took me back to the or around 3:00 for my "2 hour operation"  I remember moving over to the table and thinking wow this is brighter that the or's on tv and then thats it the next thing I know i'm in recovery waking up.   I found out as soon as I woke up that there had been a complication with my liver and half way through they had to open me instead of doing laproscopic.   I asked the nurse what time it was and she told me almost 10 o'clock.   I had been in surgery for 5 1/2 hours!   I remember thinking "oh great i'm going to take forever to recover"  the day after my surgery the nursing staff and my doctor were shocked to see me up walking in the hallways.  I hardly used my pain pump and the pain just felt like i had done a bunch of sit ups.   I was off the pain pump quickly and was only taking half the dose of oral pain meds they gave me.    Day 3 was when my post op blues hit me they decided to weigh me and the scale said i gained 20 lbs...........well I started to cry and even said I think the dr. did the wrong surgery what I had forgotten was that I had been so dehydrated that they were giving me a bag of fluid every hour so i had a ton of water weight thank god.   I was released on the morning of my 4th day and coming home was great.  The only down side is I couldn't get comfortable in bed and spent a week and a half on a recliner.   I have lost 35 lbs as of my  2 week check up.  I have chosen not to weight in between check ups for right now so i don't become obsessed.   2 days ago i put a pair of jeans that i would have to unbutton to sit comfortably in before surgery and they fell off!   I was so excited.  Yesterday I went and got my toe nails done and my nail tech mentioned how i'm more flexible now and how much easier i bend.  That plus tons of little things are happening already.    I'm so happy and I can honestly say I would do it all over again and it's only been 3 weeks :)  

Wow 10 years in the making and today is the day!!!!  I have to check in the hospital at 1 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.   It' is now 11:15 and I can't sleep i'm so nervous.   I know that i have made the right choice but I still feel the uneasy feeling of pre surgery.   Honestly can't it be tomorrow night and be over

Well day one was honestly the worst so far.    No that the PMS ha lightned up  I am refocused on my journey and back to being optimistic.   The shakes actually satisfy me and I don't feel hungry in between ( I am actually having a hard time getting all of them in during the day).   I do have some rough patches and have found myself having to turn my focus to something else 2 things that hve worked great for me are crochetting and also everytime i feel down about the loss of food I write in a jornal a list of 5 more thing I can't wait for when I am skinny!  So far it is working great :)