MrsJButler
Clothing
Jun 18, 2011
So today I was doing laundry, agh, but anyhow I realized how many clothes
I have in my closet.....so I started clearing some out, and then more, and
then some more.....I cant even imagine if I have as many fat clothes as I
do just how many skinny clothes im going to have. I forsee a major
shopping issue in my future lol. Nothing makes my happier then thinking
about shopping for "normal sized" clothes, or being able to say to my
friends "Hey lets go shopping today" can't wait!
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I have in my closet.....so I started clearing some out, and then more, and
then some more.....I cant even imagine if I have as many fat clothes as I
do just how many skinny clothes im going to have. I forsee a major
shopping issue in my future lol. Nothing makes my happier then thinking
about shopping for "normal sized" clothes, or being able to say to my
friends "Hey lets go shopping today" can't wait!
Everyones different
May 31, 2011
I honestly cant get over the fact that people are comparing weight loss.....we are all different.... what 170lbs looks like on you is in no way what I may look like at that weight. Looking thru pictures on the before and after really just hits home for me, because some people have lost 100lbs and are my weight now and are so happy about that. The doctor asked me what my goal weight was and I really had no answer...I cant imagine losing 10lbs let alone look the way i want to. I told her I wanted to look healthy, I wanted to be healthy.....and whatever weight that is will be enough. I dont want to say I wanna be 130lbs if that makes me look sick and boney. I just want to look nice so I hope thats good enough because im not saying a weight I want to be.
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Internist Appointment
May 26, 2011
First off i just want to say, Dr. Tiboni is a spunky little thing! lol
She was super nice and my appointment was literally 15 minuites, drove an hour there and almost 20 min looking for a parking spot and then an hour home and all for 15 min.
Ok so goin in I was really nervous and there really wasnt any need to be (im seeing a pattern with this issue) Dr. Tiboni was very nice and liked to get to the point which I liked too.
She listened to my chest and checked my blood pressure, she then read me some of my bloodwork
She said my pancreas was working overtime due to my weight and Vitamin D being low. Other then that she said I was perfect. My colestral was perfect too.
Anyhow that was all great but then she said I would have to wait 6 months to be able to have the surgery :( It was an aweful thing to hear but even worse at the end of the appointment she said "ok well you are great and a perfect candidate for this surgery and Krista will call you and you will have your surgery within 4-6 weeks" I then said "even tho I just quit smoking?" AHHH I know they would have caught it while looking at my file but I said it anyhow adn thats when she said it would be 6 months!.
I cried the whole way home, I feel so friggin dumb!
Im super depressed today and my whole summer is ruined. I feel like such a baby but I am crushed and it feels ike 5 more months is going to go soooooooo slowwwwwww. I know people will say "oh it'll go so quick you wont even notice" blah blah blah, people who want this surgery dont think that way. I just think when you want and need something so badly it will feel like its taking forever to get here!!!
Sorry this wasnt a happy post but im so sad
-Jessie
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She was super nice and my appointment was literally 15 minuites, drove an hour there and almost 20 min looking for a parking spot and then an hour home and all for 15 min.
Ok so goin in I was really nervous and there really wasnt any need to be (im seeing a pattern with this issue) Dr. Tiboni was very nice and liked to get to the point which I liked too.
She listened to my chest and checked my blood pressure, she then read me some of my bloodwork
She said my pancreas was working overtime due to my weight and Vitamin D being low. Other then that she said I was perfect. My colestral was perfect too.
Anyhow that was all great but then she said I would have to wait 6 months to be able to have the surgery :( It was an aweful thing to hear but even worse at the end of the appointment she said "ok well you are great and a perfect candidate for this surgery and Krista will call you and you will have your surgery within 4-6 weeks" I then said "even tho I just quit smoking?" AHHH I know they would have caught it while looking at my file but I said it anyhow adn thats when she said it would be 6 months!.
I cried the whole way home, I feel so friggin dumb!
Im super depressed today and my whole summer is ruined. I feel like such a baby but I am crushed and it feels ike 5 more months is going to go soooooooo slowwwwwww. I know people will say "oh it'll go so quick you wont even notice" blah blah blah, people who want this surgery dont think that way. I just think when you want and need something so badly it will feel like its taking forever to get here!!!
Sorry this wasnt a happy post but im so sad
-Jessie
Beauty
May 23, 2011
Just a quick post cause im super excited my hubby told me yesterday that after I look the way I want to we can re-do our wedding photos!! Our 1st anniversary is in exactly 2 months from today so im pumped he said I can buy a new dress and we can get dressed up again so I can actually hang one on my wall
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The Scope
May 14, 2011
OK so yesterday I went to St. Joes for my scope appointment. I wasnt nervous or anything but I do recall thinking about some horrible things people on this site have said about it so that was in the back of my mind while in the waiting room. I got in the waiting room and it want even ten min later they called me to the back. So you gown up, if you are being put under they will insert your IV (I did) and then you sit and they will ask you some questions about you medical history (which I have none) then they take you into a private room get you up on the stretcher and you lay and wait for the doctor to come in. Now honestly I cant remember my doc's name but wow I do remember he was very very handsome and has a very sext accent lol. I felt comfortable with him in just the short time we talked. My nurses name was Lisa and she was super nice too made me feel very relaxed. I dont remember falling asleep at all I have no idea when it happened and the next thing I knew I was awake in the recovery room. Within about 5 min i was fully awake and ready to leave, she said she wanted me to stay for about ten min and gave me some apple juice to slowly drink and see how my throat felt. It was great, no pain just a bit of dryness and after that nothing. All in all everything went well and I have no complaints.
I did meet 2 other girls there going thru the same progress as me and it was nice to see other people moving along at the same speed as I am. I know they will likely be getting there dates before me but im ok with that. I still havent had a smoke since my nurse's app which was May 4th!!!! Im very proud of myself! I have also cut out caffeine like my 2 Tim Hortons a day, pepsi, gingerale. The nicotine is out and so is all other bad foods. I'v quit snacking after 9pm and my scale says I am now down to 259, which for me is the first time i'v seen a 25 in a long ass time.
OK thats it for now and probably till the 26th which is when my internist appointment is. I have no idea what I do at that one but im excited to be going lol.
Talk soon
-Jessie
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I did meet 2 other girls there going thru the same progress as me and it was nice to see other people moving along at the same speed as I am. I know they will likely be getting there dates before me but im ok with that. I still havent had a smoke since my nurse's app which was May 4th!!!! Im very proud of myself! I have also cut out caffeine like my 2 Tim Hortons a day, pepsi, gingerale. The nicotine is out and so is all other bad foods. I'v quit snacking after 9pm and my scale says I am now down to 259, which for me is the first time i'v seen a 25 in a long ass time.
OK thats it for now and probably till the 26th which is when my internist appointment is. I have no idea what I do at that one but im excited to be going lol.
Talk soon
-Jessie
Cpap and Smoking
May 09, 2011
Ok well today is day 5 of no smoking and ya know what...I LOVE IT. I dont know but im assuming it was the nurse telling me i had to wait 5 months for surgery unless i quit adnt hat breaking my heart that my brain now just says F*** that. Something says you have a choice smoking or the rest of your life and well i guess I just needed to hear it from her. I feel aweful I didnt even want to try to quit before, what a stupid move on my part......oh well right, nothing I can do now except stay a non smoker and move on.
She also gave me shit because I dont eat regular meals and theres no way I can get 3 meals in a day. Agh! I hate eating all three meals a day honestly if my husband didnt care I wouldnt eat unless I was starved.
OK Cpap machine is as aweful as I imagined it!!! its been 4 nights and I FRICKING hate it!! There hasnt been a night where at about 3am I wake up and throw it on the floor. EVERY NIGHT at 3am im up! How is this better then before, I also am finding that at about 3-5pm in the afternoons I am getting extreamly tired, like then I could fall asleep no problem where as before there was none of that.
Anyhow ill write more at the end of this week I go for my scope on Friday.
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She also gave me shit because I dont eat regular meals and theres no way I can get 3 meals in a day. Agh! I hate eating all three meals a day honestly if my husband didnt care I wouldnt eat unless I was starved.
OK Cpap machine is as aweful as I imagined it!!! its been 4 nights and I FRICKING hate it!! There hasnt been a night where at about 3am I wake up and throw it on the floor. EVERY NIGHT at 3am im up! How is this better then before, I also am finding that at about 3-5pm in the afternoons I am getting extreamly tired, like then I could fall asleep no problem where as before there was none of that.
Anyhow ill write more at the end of this week I go for my scope on Friday.
Got the C-Crap Machine
May 04, 2011
Ok so as if this morning wasnt crazy enough witht he appointments in Hamilton I had my Cpap appointment at 2pm. Well I was pissed going in and kinda releaved at how easy it was on my way out. The women I worked with was kind of awkward to talk to but all in all it seems pretty easy. I explained to her that I think my biggest fear was the mask over my face, and she fixed that before I ended my sentence. I got whats called the nasel pillow, not sure the proper name right now but its great. feels ok and comfy. She said my levels are low (im at an 8) so really it wont be so bad. Im relieved its over and I can get it started.......if I must..... i'm for sure going to be stuck with it until surgery which is now a longer wait as I mentioned in my last blog from earlier today so that also SUCKS badly but also has to be done so thats what I will do.
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Nurse/Social Worker/ Dietitian
May 04, 2011
Ok so the appointments finally came this morning, seemed like FOREVER! They were great! I was so nervous I had to make my hubby stand outside before hand cause I thought for sure I was going to throw up. I got in there and of course they were all so very nice. I was told first thing that my 1 smoke a day had to go and that I would infact have to wait about 5 months for surgery. I cried....I wasnt upset with her just upset with myself cause I knew it was going to happen. She also said not to worry and that they were booking into July right now anyhow....needless to say Im a dumb ass. Oh well as of today i'm done!! Stupid things!! Other then that she said I did a great job and that i'm young and ready and motivated. I go for my scope on Friday (last min cancellation as I was standing there) WHOO HOO and then I see the Internest on May 26th. After that its a waiting game for my months of not smoking and then the appointment with the surgeon and the education class and then a date! Of course I wish it was going to be sooner but in retrospect I think my process has gone reasonably fast compared to other programs and places. I find a huge relief knowing that it will come and that it is going to happen and I can live with my mistake of smoking and wait my time and then I have the rest of my life to enjoy every min of. My hubby was so supportive and did such a great job he was so intent on learning/hearing everything they had to say today I couldnt be happier. He talked about what I wanted to do and how to change my habits on the ride home and I could have just cried because he cares so much. Such a great husband! Ok thats it for now, video blog to come.
---->Jessie
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---->Jessie
1 Day 21 hours 17 min 21...20..19 sec to go
May 02, 2011
So thats how long until my Hamilton App to see the Nut, S.W and Dietition. I'm so flipping excited! I hope everything goes well, cause im so nervous I may just end up with an ulcer! I was just reading the OW forum that says there are streets closed near St. Joes so thats just great...im already nervous about driving there, I hate city driving, and now remembering the last time i was there we parked so far away and up a hill. It was an aweful walk back lol I have no started an video blog of this whole process. Ill be posting it to youtube once everything is set in motion and I have a date so I know I wont be making an ass out of myself. I didnt see the big deal in them but they really do help to look back and see what you were thinking and feeling in that moment on that day...i personally find it every comforting to watch and things can only get batter from here...I hope! So I have to go Wednesday for those app and then that afternoon im going to get fit for my sleep apnea machine.....so f'in pissed still about it. Oh well right, it may not last forever and if its the only way then so be.
Ill be back Wednesday afternoon im sure to talk about my appointments and sleep apnea meeting.
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Ill be back Wednesday afternoon im sure to talk about my appointments and sleep apnea meeting.
About Me
XX
Location
28.8
BMI
Surgery
10/19/2011
Surgery Date
Dec 12, 2010
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
\"268lbs\"lbs
100lbs 10 months post op\"
\"168lbs\"lbs
