Ms_Swoosh
April 1st (It's long...but insane)
Apr 02, 2010
Dating can be cumbersome.... I mean you seek to find someone that fits in with what is going on your world and that you can enrich by being in their world....at least that's how it works in fairy tales.. Deciding to start dating 2yrs ago has really taught me a lot..some good and some bad.... many things odd.... there are more bizarre people in the world than I ever drempt possible. People that I thought only existed in movies because they were so strange... Who knows by the time I finish writing this.. might decide I am the strange one... lol it could happen....
I had a hard day yesterday...one of those days where nothing is wrong...just cant get the motivation to do anything...so I decided to get a haircut (working on that whole girl image). Before I left I checked my mail... the same gentleman had emailed me several times that he was interesting in talking to me.....okay I thought.... so I started talking to him..he was really funny.... and quick witted too... AND an accountant...so he has brain matter... (brains are important to me) anyhow...we talked and talked...until I left to get hair done and then go to aerobics... Wanted to try something different with hair but chickened out..got same old long layers and slanted bangs...oh well... AEROBICS time... I have really come to like this time...and some of my co workers are coming with me...which I love....anyhow... it was not a good day.... a child got sick in the pool and they closed the pool.... sigh...no work out for swoosh :( I told Erin how I had canceled a date to be here and now didn't even get my workout...she said I should call and go ahead and go out....but that's not my style... so I wanst gonna do it...
I get home and the guy had messaged me more, each note funnier then the previous.... we started talking and he mentioned this place he goes to on Thursdays for oysters and a beer after work. Asked me if I would join him. (old me would have said no. just period. NO.) But I'm trying to be a bit more assertive and less timid so... I said sure I would be happy to...besides.... he had been so sweet all day AND he was funny...and assured me he would walk me to my car..(I have issues being alone in strange places at night sometimes) Anyhow....I text Erin gave her the guys name and number and where I would be (safety net)
I get there....and I tell the gent at the door I am here to meet John. (John had told me to tell him that) The guy looked me up and down (u know how guys look at you) and said, You? YOU are here ....for....John? Okay...witch mode.... And exactly what is wrong with me I asked him? Nothings wrong with you he said smiling I just cant believe you are here for John...
OH DEAR LORD....WHAT IS WRONG WITH JOHN..... panic sets in.....
The gent takes me to John who is much older then he looks in his pics...but its just dinner....so lets give the guy a chance right?
I approach the table and he JUMPS up and full body hugs me..... u know like the uncle u haven't seen in a yr and your like 9.... after I managed to get free I sat down ...now the fun would begin....
Ever seen Andy Griff? You know Barney? How he pierces his lips together, pulls them to the side and and sniffles every time he is gonna say something he thinks is brilliant?..... welcome to my date....
sniffle ya I got a masters in accounting
yup I'm the smartest one in my firm
you know the thing with being a great accountant is knowing things that I know. i AM the man.
hmmm okay.... but it gets much worse....I cant remember everything he said....almost every word was offensive in some way....or something I would disagree with....
Sitting down I notice his empty dinner plate,
OH ya he says, I know how you girls are and you don't eat much so I went ahead and had dinner so you wouldn't feel obligated to eat....want a beer?
Hmmm, okay I tell him (okay don't fuss...it was only one beer and it was light)
So the waitress leaves and he says, are you a big drinker?
No, I tell him and come to think about it I haven't eaten lately....
Oh good he says that will help my plan....
Plan? (I KNOW he doesn't think I'm gonna sleep with him...)
Oh yes he said, Tenn is only about 3hrs from here... IM gonna get you drunk drive you there, marry you and then BAM you have to let me live with you. IT will be perfect, i can sleep on couch until you figure out what a great guy I am and you have steady income so bills not a problem and then I can start back to school like I'm wanting. What is your credit score? Mines bad and I will need a new car for school and all. I only pay cash for everything so we will have to put it in your name, but I still get to pick it out. I am smart and have good taste after all...
I uhhh What? okay I laughed and assured him that would not be happening. First of all i wasn't marrying anyone anytime soon. secondly what was mine would be mine. period. (remember I haven't even KISSED this guy.)
He laughed and said well we will see after a few beers....
He keeps talking about money... and I mention to him that money is much more important to him than me and we talk some about how people value things differently.... I mention this book I am reading at the moment called Understanding Poverty (good book BTW) and as I am explaining it he has the NERVES to say...
wow you are smarter than I give you credit for, you seem to have a braincell unlike most girls in the world.. Good thing y'all have us men to take care of you....
I assure you I don't need a man for anything I built my own home, paid for my own car, getting my own career and I already have kids...so I don't NEED any man. (my blood was a bit warm at this point...)
** It was at this moment I received a text....it was from a gentleman that had asked me out and was a nice guy..... but I lied to my date.... (I am only a believable liar if I'm afraid or really mad) I told him it was my friend checking on me to see that I was okay. With the phone still in my hand I DID text my friend.... CODE RED..... call me in 15 min. She text back she would.... okay 15 min... I can do 15 min right....
So you are a teacher?
yes special ed?
So you only get the idiot kids?
No, not the idiots, they are in reg classes, I get the ones that need help. (smile smile smile)
Sniffle, yep I'm the best there is. I'm so smart that I tell professors you should let me teach your class. I know more then you anyhow...
(smile) that's nice...
Ya see I got my masters in accounting and I'm gonna go get my RN degree then do that part time and finish law school
(okay I didn't even TRY to bring up the illogical in that....)
You went to law school?
well sure, remember, I AM brilliant...
Cool, how far did you get?
First year...well most of it...
(okay I'm thinking that is English and math classes...sigh)
So how does it feel knowing you disappointed your parents?
My parents aren't disappointed in me.
Your a teacher, u make a little bit of money and will never be rich
Money is only a tool. I have what I need and if I want more... I can get it I assure him
Ahhh that's right...daddy will take care of his girl....I forgot how you poor little rich girls work....
(I didn't try to answer)
He says: my dad is a recovering alcoholic
Oh I'm sorry I say, I mean I'm glad he is recovering but sorry he had issues
ya its nice that your sorry but that didn't help me growing up did it
(ummmm)
And your dad is in the army?
Yes retired. Now is the Chaplin for the Christian Motorcycle association
Preachers girl huh?
Well I suppose.
Ahhh so you Like it FREAKY, I bet i could take you in the back and you could teach me a thing or two
I leaned forward and in a firm whisper. let me assure you that there will be no going anywhere with me tonight, and if you took me to a back room the only thing you will learn is exactly how strong my knee is as I get you away from me.
He laughed.... and did the one thing he shouldn't have done after a date going so bad....he reached for my knee....
I stood up and said I need to go, (I'm not waiting on Erins call anymore) Where can I pay for my beer. Oh I got this one sweety. That beer is on me...cause I got it like that....
Good job I tell him, way to cover $2.58, thanks..... and I walk away.... the WRONG way lol in such a hurry to leave I was walking wrong way out....
my phone rings its Erin... I don't even say hello I just say you are too late I have already escaped...but talk to me till I get in the car.....
LOL was an AWEFUL night.... and what was nice was the guy that text me did so again on my way home....totally unaware of what had just happened and said.
...know that I think you are a great girl, I look forward to getting to know you, good night.....
Wish I could say APRILS FOOLS I made the whole thing up...but it happened ...and so much more that I have forgotten lol WOW.....
