March 2, 2011

Mar 02, 2011

Been quite awhile since I have wrote anything. Its been a harsh season for me (this past winter).  Bad date after bad date...some not so bad exactly...just not compatible but still I am single none the less with my birthday coming up...not that I mind being single on my birthday its more the idea of being single AND another year older....  but its a minor issue.

A more major issue, my band has slipped.  I was throwing up for weeks and didn't go...wasn't a stubborn issue it was more an issue of money, life took a harsh crunch there for a bit and I was more concerned with power for my home and food for my boy. But I did go last Thursday the Dr said he thought the band had slipped and wanted to do fluro to see....the degree I was throwing up was not cool, he said there was little reason I was even able to function, the next day we went to the hospital for the fluro and after not even being able to hold down the dye stuff...I had to have the fluid taken out of it.

People say I should be careful because now I can eat as much as anyone else. I am not finding this to be true.....idk, maybe still really swollen?  Had the fluid taken out Friday (6 days ago). Good news is I am no longer throwing up every 5 Min's... still sorta have discomfort when eat...but its not so rough, I'm thinking maybe its actually the skin of the stomach being pulled back through the loose band with the food (I can think that if I want too!)  The hope is that in one month I go back in for fills and the stomach is fine..problem is that in order to check that I would have to do fluro again which is a hospital visit and another $500 Dr bill....so we will have to see about that one...if I feel fine I might put the fluro off unless I find an issue.  I have decided to use this time to hydrate myself like nobodys business!! I mean I am drinking water like a camel. I refuse to touch a soda, figure they are still poison, I did eat a donut.... and 3 grapes. 

I wish people wouldn't say, "well be careful you don't want to get fat again..." They need to shut it!  Sorry that sounds harsh, but I am the one that did the work the last two years, I am the one that made the sacrifices and changed things to do better, the last thing I need is for someone to try to put a bug in my ear about getting big again....I guess its one of those things they don't understand unless they have been there...I mean do you say to your alcoholic friends...now be careful driving pass the gas stations, they sell beer there...  idk, guess I'm tired from the workout today...

I had slacked off my workouts to 5 days a week because I was feeling faint from eating so little and all the throwing up, so now that I'm not throwing up we are back on a 7 day schedule and I am upping the pot some, back in the weight room three days a week instead of just the water aerobics each day.    A girl from work wants to join me so I figure it will help some. I mean I go and work out but having someone there does help some, granted people don't tend to last more than a month or so....but hey that's a month of someone to chat with, and I do love to chat  :) 

I have decided that when I go back in a month everything will be great, band will be as it should and life will go on as normal.  I have the money saved up to look into plastics and I am ready to get rid of this skin and being DONE :)   Its going to happen :)

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