N W.

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Oh, dear Lord, I'm driving myself insane!

I spend nearly every free minute I have reading the stories of other members here - great inspiration (bordering on torture).  

It still hasn't fully registered that this is actually going to happen. Every time I get still, like laying in bed trying to go to sleep, my mind just refuses to shut down. 

Last night I had a moment of "OMG!" This whole thing has happened so fast and is so surreal and I've pretty much gotten used to feeling that. But this was more of a realization that, yes, it IS really happening.

Sort of like when you have a really bad dream and you wake up - that feeling of, thank God, it was just a dream. Except the opposite. Realizing that it isn't a wonderful dream. You aren't going to wake up and be disapponted because it isn't real.

I am no longer going to read about others and wish to be one of them - I AM GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! 

8 days not counting today or the day of surgery since my surgery is early a.m. That morning will probably go by too fast! lol