Rosa M.

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DIGIT THAT IS!
I went shopping last night…you know me and my new favorite past time (I didn’t buy anything – I am thinking about getting a part time job to pay for this new past time).  I took to the dressing room several pairs of dress pants…size 8…I tried on the first pair and they fit…I thought just a fluke…tried on the next pair they zipped right up – must run big…let me try on the size 8 skirt – that for sure is not going to fit…it did…I still doubted…tried on the next pair of size 8’s…those fit too!  I was amazed that I could fit into a size 8.  I immediately called my DH and told him.  I then called Olga to tell her, I had just enough battery to get the information to her…she said “how about a size 8 jeans…I just bought a size 8 jeans from Marshalls”  then I lost her…the phone died…I went out and tried on a size pair 8 jeans – they fit.  I tried on two new years type dresses size 8 – they went on a little snug around the bust line but by golly the dresses looked good!  I could not believe that a little over eight months out I am now in a single digit size pants.

Side note:  Please don’t think that I look like a superstar size 8.  I am carrying all my excess weight in my stomach.  I wrote before that I wish my a$$ and stomach were reverse…cause then I would look like J. Lo or H. Berrie!
 

Well it’s Mr. Monday today…Feeling really good about what is going on in my life.  It’s funny I weighed in at 160 which made 100lbs lost, but on the official weigh in day I weighed in at 161 – I don’t change my tickler or anything I just leave it at the lower weight because eventually it will go back there.  I hope I don’t get another one of those four week stalls.  With only 26 lbs to go…I feel like gosh darn it can you just hurry up!!! But we all know what that gets us - a big fat frustrated!  I love shopping for those smaller sizes…wearing a size medium…I don’t ever remember wearing that size…Large in Jr. high and high school.  

I am feeling like if I could just get my plastics…my stomach flap would be gone and clothes would not only fit better but possibly a smaller size!  Right now my problem with not wearing the larger sizes such as 1x and bigger is that most are not quite long enough to cover my front load pouch.  If I had my stomach and a$$ reversed then I think I would be looking like J. Lo!!

I have never worn sexy lingerie - NEVER…I was at the mall over the weekend and went into Fredrick’s I bought myself and DH a beautiful teal top and bottom.  I went home and tried it on…I looked and said “you don’t look bad”   I actually had a smile on my face.  I haven’t wore them yet, now I have to work up the nerve to put it on in front of my DH…

but as of this morning  I have now made it to the century club!!!!  I LOST 100LBS!!!  I am 25lbs from reaching my goal.  I am sooo excited and  looking at myself in awww.  I am liking what I see…my once huge stomach is shrinking – my stomach is getting flatter right under my boobs – I no longer look like an egg shaped woman (I still have plenty of stomach left but it doesn’t blend in with my boobs).  I was wearing a tight size 10 now I am a looser size 10 – it is freakin’ amazing.  I am actually feeling sexy – I am seeing the smaller me.  

OH was no longer making centruy club cards...they are working on them being automated in a "couple" of months.  But one of the VSG family members sent me this....


((((((((((Rondi aka pinkmommy))))))))))  Thank you so much for making this for me...as you all know little things like this mean so much to us.  I posted on my site...again thank you for taking the time to make me smile!!!

Well last night was the start of the dreaded belly dancing classes!  I was really nervous about it...thinking I didn't belong there.  I got to the center went to the bathroom to change and headed out to the class room.  When I arrived there were several women already there; young & old and of all shapes and sizes - VARIETY.  Did I belong there? Hell yea I did!  Did I have a great time?  Hell Yea I did!  I felt a part of the group and I was proud that I had accomplished the first step - I wasn't embarrassed about my "funky" movements.

I have to back up a little...I picked up my son's and told them I was taking them to the library (which is next door to the dance class) while I took an "exercise class".  That was the start of the all the questions.  First my youngest son started clapping in support that I was going to exercise and said "good job".  Then the harder questions...what type of exercise class was I planning on taking?  I said well it's a dance class.  Ohh a dance class inquiring minds wanted to know "what type of dance is this?"  I smiled my oldest son said "don't tell me you are taking belly dancing classes".  I giggled and answered "yes".  They were so excited I was taking belly dancing classes.  They said ok Mom well see you - have fun - shake it.  

When the class was about to end I guess they couldn't stand waiting at the library any longer - they walked over to find me - they wanted to see what was going on.  They got there too late to see any dancing but I could see in their eyes that they were happy.  They asked me all kinds of questions and had me show them the moves I learned when we got home.  Martin (my oldest son) when going to bed said "Good night Shakira" with a huge smile on his face. 

Since wls as the sizes get smaller I have been doing some..ok ok a lot of shopping.  I am feeling really good about the look of clothes I am able to wear.  This morning I came in to work and one of the young women in the office said "you look really nice today...stylish".  

I have always bought nice things but have always thought I looked frumpy in them when I weighed in at 260.  Now I strut around...so I am feeling like I am making the clothes instead of the clothes making me!  Some may have read about me and my new boots...black knee high ones.  Friend told me that you really have to feel the boots otherwise they just don't look right.  I wore those the other day with a black skirt and got lots of compliments on them...so I think I am feeling 'em. 
 

Hi Olga,

I need you!!!  Please help me…I have looked on line and can registar for the belly dancing  classes I want to take to.  They start on Monday October 30 and are $60 for six 1.5 hour sessions.  I am aprehensive about registaring.  I feel embarressed/ashamed that I even want to take these classes and I want to overcome this fear of humiliation.

My inner thoughts are “who do you think you are – you are going to look silly - you are a fat ass”…I am trying despartely to overcome this.  I want to do this because I feel it will give me some power of “I am doing this because I think it will be fun”  “I am doing this because I love to dance”  “I am doing this because I want too”.  But am I putting myself out there to be laughed at?  And who is going to laugh at me…the people there?  Jaime?  You?  These are the things going through my head…self sabagtoge and pity…I feel like such a sad case!  My mind is telling me I don’t want to hear that sh@%!  Which of course are my DH’s words coming out (or at least what I think he would say).  I do realize…for so many many years I have seen myself through his eyes  and now that I am beginning to peel away at the layers I can see that glimmer and have been smiling at what I see in the mirror.  It is not his fault – it is my fault for accepting it.  I didn’t feel good about myself and hung out with someone who would acknowledge that I wasn’t good enough, and that is my baggage not his.  

Doing this - taking this leap is so important to me…I know it sounds corney/stupid…but I really feel like I will be breaking down walls by moving forward with this…am I ready?  I think that is why I am so scared…I don’t know if I am as much as I want to be.  Am I reading too much into this – does it really matter – does it mean anything.  I am going to keep watching the class size.  Right now there are 7 openings – I’ll check everyday until there are 3 spaces left and make my decision then.  Thanks for listening… Rosa

P.S.  I can feel the music again…for such a long time (over a year) I couldn’t feel it – in my soul…it came back!  VIVA
Alicia Villarreal and her “Orgullo de mujer” CD!  

P.P.S.S.  Am I going to have to pay you psych fees? 

I decided not to wait any longer for those boots I wanted.  I had seen them several weeks ago, then went back on Sunday and saw a similar pair that I wanted (both were nine west @ $169.00).  Today I went to Macy’s and saw a pair of Chinese Laundry leather boots – I like the sole on these boots better than the other two pairs and guess what?  They were $95 and some change so I actually “saved” $100!  I feel much better about my purchase…Hummm...Does this mean I have an extra $100 to buy a brown pair?   I walked out da' store wearing those babies!