Rosa M.

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The The day of my surgery. Last night I didn't do well, I was upset with DH. I wanted him with me this evening to help keep me calm, but he was at the business and choose not to come home right away. I spent some time talking to my sister in law Monica who helped me put somethings into prospective (she had some insight I had not know/seen). I drove myself to the hospital with Jaime and Mom, I wanted to drive feeling a little out of control.

 Today I woke up with feeling lots of stress and anxiety. It was a bad morning. Not good the day before surgery. I am just so sad today. Feeling kinda like a "failure" for not being thin like the rest of the world. I have great co-workers Alice, Lynn, Gwen, Kat, Julie - they have all been so supportive. I walked in to work today and broke down. Alice hugged me and told me how much she loved me and said it's going to be ok. They all told me it was ok to cry. Gosh writing really does help - I am letting it go....Therapy!

This morning I weighed my self - trying to reach the lose 10lbs before surgery - I lost 4lbs. I haven't had any carbonated drinks - mostly water and some decaf. tea. I have really been trying to cut back on my eating by serving less on my plate and eating more mini meals. Trying to get my mind ready for the smaller portion versions.

I have not been drinking sodas for about 1 1/2 weeks now. It has made in difference in the bloating of my stomach. I have decided that I am going to lose 10lbs. before the surgery I did lose three pounds but the official weigh in is on Friday, so I'll get back here on Friday to let you know how it went.

I am still waiting for Kaiser to send my test results to Dr. Cirangles office (I wish they would hurry) - I will then be able to schedule surgery.

I have been walking once a day with co-workers, one in particular - Love you Kat, motivates me to keep walking a little faster and longer. Everyone has been supportive and caring, still some question if this is something I really want to do and am I sure - Boy if they only realized that I have been thinking about this surgery for three years now - I almost which I would have just done it three years ago instead of putting it off until now. I am getting anxious to schedule my date - Kaiser hurry and send my test results so I can get on with it!