SkinnyDreamz

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Quotes I admire...

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

You have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.

BTW... I loved my egg this morning : )

**Hugs**

I've officially reached the one week mark!! Yippee!! I'm down 16 pounds already!! I don't feel or look it but hopefully will soon! I'm in the second stage of my diet, full liquids, and on Wednesday I progress to pureed. I'm looking forward to a scrambled egg for breakfast so badly, and one of my favorites, mashed potatoes!! Then, on Sunday I can have tuna fish & triscuits and a chicken & cheese quesadilla on a wheat tortilla. I'm not feeling hungry or thirsty yet, and I'm constantly reminding myself to drink my water. The pain is slowly decreasing each day. I can't wait for that to be gone, it makes everything more difficult. I can't get comfortable, and I'm either tired or restless. I've upgraded from my 16 stairs and I'm now walking outside. Today I walked 3 separate times, for a total of 1.2 miles. It felt like enough of a challenge, I'm not ready to increase it yet. Before surgery I could walk 1.5 in one shot easily, so I'm pretty impressed with myself today. When it's no longer a challenge I will increase my distance. I'm feeling so blessed to have the love & support from my family & friends. It's very encouraging and I want so badly to succeed. I see Dr. Caruana for a follow up visit Thursday morning. Things are looking up, I'm determined and optimistic. ... Until Next Time **Hugs**

Short Update - I'm Alive!!  That is when I'm AWAKE!! LOL ... oh don't laugh it hurts!... or blow ur nose, that's tough to!  Liquid Loritab is the equivalent of the sandman taking you to sleepytown!!  My Incision is still pretty sore, but other wise I'm feeling good and optimistic.  Chicken broth is better than water, and I'm getting my vitamins in no problem.  I took a shower my first night home by myself.  (Surgery Tuesday, left for home at 3pm on Thurs.)  If I could have had help it would have been for washing my hair, but I did alright.  I've walked up and down my set of stairs twice.  I live in a second story apt. and its way to icy and ugly outside to walk outside. So NY weather is keeping me indoors for the moment.  Hope everyone else is doing well also, Thank You so much for the support!! **Hugs**

Well, its the day before surgery.  I'm both excited and nervous.  I've been so incredibly emotional, & I feel so sorry for the people around me that have had to put up with me.  On a Positive note, I've enjoyed eating all of my favorite foods in the past couple months.  

Ruby Tuesday's - Ribs, Steak, Bistro BBQ Chicken,  White Cheddar Mashed Potatoes, Steamed Broccoli, Texas Toast. 

Friendly's - Onion Rings, Chicken Quesadillas, Mozzarella Sticks, BBQ Chicken, French Fries, Cole Slaw, Reese's Cup Sundae.

Applebee's - Steak, Mac N Cheese, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Mozzarella Sticks, Key Lime Pie Shooter.

Pasquales - Pizza Logs, Salad w/ lots of French Dressing, Italian Bread & Butter, Baked Penne (MY FAVE!)

Bella Pizza - Chicken Wings

King Buffet - Chinese Sweet & Sour Chicken w/ Pork Fried Rice.

Visited all the Bad, Greasy, No Good Fast Food Places.  McDonald's, Buger King, Wendy's, Arby's even Tim Horton's.  

I'm ready to give up Cookies, Chocolate, Candy, & Cake.

AND ... I'm sure I look really bad after running down this list but believe it or not... in the 3 months prior to surgery I've lost 15lbs!!!  Go Figure!!!

I have to say, this surgery is not to be taken lightly.  You are anticipating the biggest most fantastic physical change of your life... and then it hits you.  The battle in your mind is where all the "real work" goes on.  Its a shame how much society and media has affected our lives.  It's hard to find inner peace and happiness in such a critical world.  There are so many things I want to do, & I feel held back by my size.  I want to be healthy, but I also don't want to be the "fat girl" anymore.  I don't want to be told I have just "a pretty face".  I want to hear that I'm hot.  I want to feel & look sexy.   I really need a pick me up.  I've been very nervous and depressed  but today I'm just numb.  I'm going to take pictures tonight of myself so I have a "before" album.  I've actually been dreading do this... when in a few months it will most likely make me very happy.   

My friends have been so supportive and wonderful.  Cutest idea ever...  I asked each of them to pick a couple songs that I could listen to on my mp3 player while in the hospital .  Here are a couple songs I was given...

That's what friends are for, Dionne Warwick
If You're Going Through Hell, Rodney Atkins
Three Little Birds, Bob Marley
Little Help from my Friends, The Beatles
Jesus Take the Wheel, Carrie Underwood
Stand by Me

I'm going to dance down the halls to this one....
Don't Cha, Pussy Cat Dolls

My thoughts are scattered, but I'm feeling calm right now.  Not sure what else to say at the moment.  I will post an update again as soon as I'm up for it!!  Thank You Everyone!! * HUGS *  Best Wishes!!

Well everything is starting to fall into place.   I have my nutrition & exercise class on the 17th.  I go for pre-op blood work on the 23rd.  I see my primary for final medical clearance on the 25th.  And I believe I have to be at Sister's Hospital on the day of surgery by 10:30am.  
I'm going through a million emotions, all natural I'm sure, but having them just the same.  Most importantly, "What am I doing?? What if I can't handle this?" I don't want to let myself or anyone else down.  I'm very eager to start a new chapter in my life.  I'm looking forward to so many things.  Smaller clothes obviously, but also simpler things.  Things I haven't been able to do before, will become a reality for me.  I've never been on a roller coaster, I can't get a seatbelt around me in some cars, I can't cross my legs without sitting on my hip, I can't get pregnant, they don't make cute underwear in my size, I can't carry a basket of laundry up the stairs without needing to catch my breath at the top, I can't sit comfortably in a booth in a restaurant, and I don't like the way people treat me based on my body size.   I cannot wait to change all these things and turn them into accomplishments.  
As I've been sharing the news of my surgery many people say things like... "Can you ever have a piece of pizza or cake again?"  "I could never give up Ice Cream".... or .... "You will not be able to live without pop".   While I do enjoy those things none of them are anywhere near as important to me as my health and happiness.  To have a body that doesn't ache under my weight, to raid my sister's closet (ok just shirts, there is a height difference!), and to better my self-esteem is far more important to me than any dessert or snack.  I am not going to waste this valuable tool and opportunity given to me.  I may be scared, & I may be nervous about some things, but I've never been more sure of any decision in my life.  If I can keep my head where it is now, I'm going to do BIG things... and be littler doing them!  I believe having this surgery is more mental and emotional than physical.  I keep telling myself "I CAN DO IT, I WILL DO IT".  The right mind set is everything.  I rambled quite a bit today, but I think it was the first time I sat down and put some facts in writing and really assessed them.  Until next time...

I'VE GOT A DATE!! JANUARY 29TH 2008!!! Surgery is scheduled for 12:30!!  I'm sooooooooooooooooooo EXCITED!!!  I feel like I've waited a lifetime for this news!!  Thank You everyone for putting up with my rants, and being there for me with your fantastic support!!  This roller coaster is finally on track and I'm ready for the ride!!  2008 is looking Great!!

Ok, so the office consultation on Sept. 27th was finally paid.... a week ago.  BUT, the office still has not given me a date for surgery, STILLl!!! *SIGH*   Happy Holidays Everyone!!

For those of you keeping track....  It has been over 2 months now since my consultation with the surgeon.  I have been calling my insurance company practically weekly, to no avail.  They still give me the standard answer "We have received the claim for the consultation & the bill is "IN PROCESS".  They told me the process takes 30-45 days.... well its now past that point!  So,  I'm still frustrated over here.  I won't have a date until that visit is paid for, regardless of the fact that the surgery was approved.  Honestly, I don't blame the doctor, I'd be afraid the ins. comp. wouldn't pay after taking their time on a bill for consultation too.  March thru May is a rough time of year for me, and I'd like to have the surgery before then at the very least.  So, fingers crossed!  Best Wishes everyone on your progress and/or success!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

I'm still waiting for a surgery date, waiting on the paperwork.  The good news is I get to have a big, wonderful, tasty Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow!!  I'm so hungry just thinkin about it!!  The only downfall is, a month ago when I thought I would have a surgery date about a week from now, my family told me not to worry about dinner.  Soooo, they made other plans from our norm, and now I don't have any guests for dinner! : (  I'm used to cooking for 7-10, and this time it will be for 3.  And silly enough, I'm still cooking the same amount of food.  I'm excited about the holiday foods and want to enjoy it while I can!!  Best Wishes!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Some people drive me NUTS!!!  (Talked to a couple annoying un-informed people today.)

Getting Serious.... **Pat on the Back For Me!!**  1.5 miles in 28 minutes.  I'm impressed, I'm pleased with that.  Work out that frustration!  Yes!  It's been a while since I clocked it and paid attention.  Question: Do shin splints ever go away?  With exercise, tolerance & muscle growth?  I've had them as long as I can remember, but... I've never been fit.   That's the biggest obstacle for me.  Anyway...even though the time isn't as "Good as I once was", I'm feeling positive at this moment!!  There's room for realistic improvement!!  That's HUGE for me!   : )