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Today I had my pre-op visit to the hospital.  Since my husband hasn't been involved up to this point, I thought it was important for him to come and hear what will be happening (mind you, I've been bending his ear with all sorts of things!).  Of course, now he's even more nervous!!  It was tough to hear about the whole surgery steps (heparin, pressure socks, etc.).  Of course it's been real, it's just now even more real!  He's also coming to my final appointment on Friday.  I'm sure that will just add another layer of worry!

As far as the liquid diet is going...So far, so good.  I'm supposed to have 4 shakes a day, plus a 3 oz. portion of protein and a serving of veggies/salad once a day (allowed to have lowfat/light dressing).  On the first day, I only had 2 shakes.  Yesterday I had 4.  Today I'm ending the day with three.  I'm using the Bariatric Advantage chocolate and it's not bad.  In 2003/2004, I did Atkins faithfully for an entire year.  I drank a lot of shakes then so I guess it's just fine with me.  For the last 2 nights, I've had the same dinner - 3 oz. of shrimp stir-fried with Newman's Light Balsamic and some pre-cooked asparagus (microwaved it first to make sure it was soft enough).  Delicious!  But, oh so tiny!!

I've also experienced something a bit crazy for me.  I'm a self-proclaimed junk food junkie - cookies, ice cream, candy.  Yesterday, one of my co-workers began talking about big sandwiches at Carnegie Deli.  I said, "If you're going to talk about sandwiches, I have to leave."  (jokingly).  Then, later in the day, my best friend told me what she ate for lunch and ended with, "And I had a piece of cheese."  In my mind, I thought, "Gee, I wish I could have a piece of cheese..."  Isn't that weird?  Instead of missing total crap, I'm longing for healthy food.  Maybe there's hope for me yet!!

Today was the first day of my liquid diet.  According to my nutritionist, I was supposed to have 4 meal replacement shakes (breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack) along with 3 oz of lean protein and a veggie or salad for supper.  Needless to say, that seemed too much to me!  Due to my job (I am a trainer - teacher style...not gym type.....ha!), I was only able to have 2 shakes.  For dinner I was out with friends and had a cobb salad from D'Angelo's.  I didn't have the normal swiss cheese.  I did have one slice of bacon, along with chicken.  I added a very small amount of their low fat Caesar dressing (yes, I even asked for the nutirtional booklet to find out which dressing was the best choice.....ah....my new life!).  I didn't think that was too bad considering I wasn't home to make my own salad.  

This morning my mother was on the phone saying, "Are you sure you can do this?"  I replied, "Mom, I already am.  As of last night when I went to bed, my life is now different.  I'm all done eating the old way.  For the next week, I'm going to be doing the liquid diet thing and then I'm going to be having my surgery."  Wow, my life is changing right now...amazing.....well, you know the saying....

          The journey of a liftime begins with a single step.

Holy Cow!!  I can't beleive it.  I just went to the nutritionist last week and I got the call at work yesterday -- my surgery is scheduled for Monday, April 27th.  That's pretty close!  I'm very excited and just a bit nervous - which I'm sure will get worse as the big day approaches!!  Wow... my new life is just around the corner.....

Well, I'm pretty excited tonight.  Today I had an appointment with my nutritionist.  My doctor had wanted me to lose 10 pounds before the surgery.  As of today, I've lost 7 (I wish it was more, but this has been my lifetime struggle - I need to be proud of this 7 lbs.).  I've done all of my steps to surgery and she said she was signing off on me!!  Now, my paperwork goes off to my insurance carrier and I will be scheduled for surgery!!  She said it can be as soon as three weeks.  Since I have work obligations, I had said that I was planning on early May.  She didn't think that would be a problem.  I can't believe it!  I felt almost giddy as I drove back to work after my appointment.  I don't view this surgery as the "be all and the end all," but I truly feel it is the best tool out there for long-term weight loss.  I'll keep you posted!!!

Well, I haven't written anything in a while.  I continue to move towards surgery.  I've met almost all of my necessary requirements.  When I went for my nutritionist appointment last month, Liz told me that they hadn't received my letter of medical necessity from my primary physician.  I've called them and the letter should be on its way!

My only other barrier is me....I can't seem to take off my required 10 lbs!!  Basically, I've called my problem the "Last Supper Syndrome".  I've been having real problems thinking, "After surgery, I may never be able to eat this again."  Needless to say, I've been eating waaaayyy  too much!!  Of course, am I truly surprised?  No!!!  My problems with food have gotten me to this point in my life.  My next appointment with the nutritionist is on the 30th.  I'm down 4 lbs and I know I can get off the last 6.  Wish me luck!! 

Well, today I celebrated my 41st birthday.  All and all it was a good day.  I had a great day at work and a great day with my family and my best friend.  What could have made it better?  Being thinner and healthier, of course!  Up until last year (the big 4-0), I was always large, but quite healthy.  Then, I began noticing little things (joint pain, more fatigue....).  This year, I truly sense a bit more of a decline.  I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about 8 weeks ago.  I must say, I HATE the apnea machine!  I never noticed my apnea - I slept like a baby and had a lot of energy during the day (I just snored really loud and my husband said I stopped breathing - not good!).  Now, the slightest movement dislodges the mask and blows air in my eye, near my nose or chin, etc.  I sleep horribly!  Since August, I've developed some pretty bad migraines.  And my most recent, newest ailment is a bulging disk in my neck!  I can't help but wonder if a dramatic weight loss wouldn't help with many of these problems.  I actually told my parents this morning about my plans for the RNY procedure.  My mom's biggest concern was that I wouldn't be able to make the necessary changes and I wouldn't be successful long term.  I actually feel that my time has come.  The worse my health gets, the stronger my resolve becomes....2009 is my year for change......