Tammy M.
One week down
Jul 26, 2008
I have good news and bad news.
The bad news -
I am having is dizzy spells. For about 3 days now, about mid-afternoon when I lean over and stand back up I get really dizzy for about 3 seconds. Then I'm fine. I'm not sure if it was diet or blood pressure. So the doctor cut me back to half dosage on my Lasix but kept me on my blood pressure meds. This was Friday morning and I still had a spell Saturday afternoon. So just in case, I ate a full meal on Saturday thinking it was a dietary issue. And then this morning, I'm not taking the Lasix at all. My doctor had told me to wean myself off it it anyway if my legs no longer needed it. So I am hoping that the dizzy spells will now go away. And I am sure that they will.
The good news -
I have TONS more energy than I did a week ago. I have been more productive at work as well as at home. I still have a lot going on, and a huge mental battle to deal with, but physically I feel 100% better. I don't feel as sluggish, or drained as I did a week ago. And I am sleeping better too. In fact, I've not used my CPAP machine the past 3 nights. I just need to remember to praise God in the little victories as well as the huge battles. He is so worthy of more than I could ever give Him in return!
So I am now back on my all liquid diet. At least until next Sunday. I may indulge myself for my birthday August 3rd and eat a real meal again. Besides Dr. Avara's office says that since my surgery is still over 2 weeks away, I can have Slim-Fast Shakes and a Lean Cuisine for supper if I want to. Oh I want to, but I won't. I need to lose more weight before my surgery and I don't want my laziness, or stupidity to jeopardize that.
Day 6 of Liquid Diet - Surrendering
Jul 25, 2008
I've been a Christian since I was 7. I know God. I have seen God do amazing things. I know he is Omnipotent and Omnicient, yet for some reason I have struggled with letting it all go to God. I don't know why. All I know is that is no longer the case. The more I think I am in control, the more I am actually spiralling out of control. And I am tired of being a victim to my own stupidity. I have confessed my sins and shamefully approached the throne of God turning my obesity 100% over to Him. As a result, mountains that were to overwhelming to even approach have quickly disentegrated in God's hands.
I know that my journey is only beginning, and I know that there will be pittfalls along the way. God never promised an easy ride, but He did promise to be with me for each step of the way. And I can take great comfort in that.
All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him
in His presence, daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all.
All to Thee, my Blessed Savior
I surrender all.
~ Tammy
P.S.:
I was able to cut one of my blood pressure medicines in half starting today!
Surgery is Tuesday August 12th.
Day 5 of Liquid Diet
Jul 24, 2008
Then my body started playing games with me. After eating supper, I am noticing a new physical development. If I lean over and then straighten up, I am dizzy. This has happened 4 or 5 times in the past 2 hours. One small possibility is that this is due to a radical change in my diet. Not wanting to start eating solid foods, I ate some very little quantities of other non-liquid foods, but still in a pureed form.
The other (and MOST LIKELY) possibility is that my blood pressure is too low. I had a normal blood pressure reading yesterday morning, and the fluid had disappeared from my legs. But I still took my blood pressure medicine and my Lasix (water pill) today. I have decided that if I have another spell tonight, I am going to the After Hours Clinic to have my blood pressure checked.
Tomorrow I won't take my blood pressure meds. Instead I'll get worked in at my doctor's office tomorrow afternoon and get my blood pressure checked. Then I'll ask the doctor about cutting back on my meds.
I'm sure that is all that it is. While I am not the type to run to the doctor with every little problem or panic attack, I sure won't let it go too long without doing something about it.
Day 4 of Liquid Diet - pre-op visit to doctor
Jul 23, 2008
Here's what I have left on my calendar.
Tuesday - Psych evaluation with Dr. Beverly Smallwood; pick up lab results and paperwork from doctor's office.
Tuesday night - Support Group meeting at Dr. Beverly Smallwood's office
Wednesday - Gallbladder ultrasound & upper GI series at Wesley Medical Center
And I am still waiting on my surgery date.
I almost forgot to eat lunch today. I couldn't eat breakfast because I had to fast prior to my labs. And at lunch time, Alicia had to remind me that it was time to eat. Then I drank my liquids all afternoon. Supper I am having some cottage cheese and some beef broth. And I'm ok with that.
Not much else to write at this point. But I just wanted to share my news from this morning.
Thanks for listening,
Tammy
Day 3 of Liquid Diet
Jul 22, 2008
All of this is inspiring me to keep on, keeping on.
I am finding myself eating much less than normal, and eating it at a slower rate. I sat down last night with a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and a 6 oz canister of yogurt. I ate the cottage cheese and could only eat 1/2 the yogurt. I brought the rest of the yogurt to work with me for a snack today.
Less than half a week ago, I would have devoured both in less than 5 minutes and then started on my main course. It's amazing what a few days and a huge change in perspective will do for you.
I pray that all of this is not in vain and that I will lose the 20 pounds that Dr. Avara asked that I lose before my surgery. I have no desire to sabotage myself at this point or at any point. I have worked too hard these past 3 days, I can't afford to start that process all over again.
But most importantly, I know that my friends are also praying for me. I can feel their prayer cover over me even as I walk through the grocery store aisles. I am not in the least bit tempted by anything! And the only word to describe that is MIRACLE! Even though I am not exhibiting a lot of noticeable physical changes yet, I know that positive changes are being made. And God is merciful and forgiving in His Grace to help me on this journey. I have tried and failed Him so many times and yet His unconditional love for me is allowing me this opportunity to get well. And I Praise Him for that!
Day 2 of Liquid Diet
Jul 21, 2008
Last night Alicia decided she wanted Doritos with her turkey sandwich. So I had a front row seat to the wonder concert of her crunching on her Doritos. So I decided for a change of scenery and went and did some spring cleaning in my kitchen. Then tonight, Kenny walks through the living room crunching on a celery stalk. But I'm full so it doesn't bother me too much. Besides this is only temporary.
These next 2 weeks will be very busy for me. Wednesday I go to my Doctor's office to have my labs drawn, an EKG done, and maybe a chest film. Only my doctor decided that he needed to be scuba diving somewhere exotic this week, so I have the pleasure of being seen by Kevin Clearman, the best Certified Nurse Practitioner in the WORLD! He was the one who first suspected sleep apnea with me when nobody at the ER caught it! (That's another story for another day).
Tuesday, July 29th I go to Dr. Beverly Smallwood's office for a psychological evaluation. Then that night, I'll attend a support group at her office as well. I was told today that since I have all of my appointments scheduled, I can go ahead and schedule my surgery. So now I am waiting to hear back from the doctor's office so that we can compare calendars.
I have already seen positive results from this. My determination has allowed me to focus on what I eat, how much, and how fast I eat. Also I was back at Curves today - the first time in a few weeks. . . But more importantly, the water retention in my legs is the best that is has been in weeks! SO PRAISE GOD! for that miracle. If this keeps up, then I'll ask Kevin on Wednesday if I can stop taking the Lasik.
I am thinking about just ordering protein from UNJURY and just get it over with. I am still mulling that decision over though.
I appreciate all of the kind words of encouragement that I have received! They are truly appreciated and much needed. Even though I will probably never meet most of you, I know that we have a bond that only we can understand, as we go through weight loss surgery together. And knowing that I have you guys there has really helped me feel more confident.
THANK YOU!!!
~ Tam
Day 1 of Liquid Diet
Jul 20, 2008
Yesterday I only drank water and a Diet Coke. I was even at a Car Show with all kinds of fattening goodies and sugar-loaded drinks and I abstained from the evils.
I knew we had a dinner party to go to so I thought I would kill 2 birds with one stone. I cooked up a batch of brownies, in order to take to the party, knowing that I needed to get it out of my cupboard ASAP! I took out the oil, water and egg, substituting apple sauce and Diet Dr. Pepper for nutritional value. And I made the brownies too moist. LOL! When I cut into them, the knife was covered with gooey brownie mix, so Alicia and Kenny took turns using their thumb and index fingers to clean off the knife. Then I'd turn to the sink and scrub the knife. Then I'd cut another piece of brownie. They were so moist, I couldn't put them on a plate and make them look pretty for the party. So They are in a tupperware container on our counter right now. And we ended up running to the store to pick up chips and dip.
I still had the delimma of what to eat at the party. So I had a bowl of beef broth before we left for a dinner party. I'm glad that I did because it was heavily catered (everybody brought something yummy). I just happily stood in the corner with my Diet Coke and my water. When Kenny and Alicia grabbed plates of food, I started wandering around the house so I wouldn't be tempted to sneak a bite off of their plates. Needless to say, we left the party kind of early. But it was because I didn't want to sabotage myself. I rewarded myself with some SF jellow.
This morning I have only had water, some SF White grape soda, and some SF jello. I even took a multivitamin. I started to feel a little nauseous this morning but it might be been because I was hungry. You know, I can't honestly say when was the last time I was really hungry. That's tragic! I need to focus on obtaining some powdered protein supplement now. Something unflavored that I can add to broth, etc.
Well as boring as this was, it was Day One on my journey to a better life. And Lisa at Dr. Avara's office even said something similar at yesterday's seminar. She said that yesterday was Day One of our treatment for our diesease called obesity. Because we were getting the treatment of education. You know, it may sound kind of corny, but it really helped me feel like I am finally taking control of this situation. I know that God is in control of everything, but I am now learning accountability and submitting to God's control.
Today's seminar was great!
Jul 19, 2008
Today's seminar was great! I felt at ease. Dr. Avara and his staff were very professional and very cordial. There was no shame or guilt associated with today's seminar at all. I had to have my "before" photo taken today. UGH! I never want to see that one again. Then I had to have my height measured so they could accurately calculate my body mass index (BMI). Their scale not only calculated my weight but also my amount of fat and water weight. After having my blood pressure checked, I was taken back to the seminar room where we watched a Power Point on gastric bypass surgeries, the lap band, and Dr. Avara's credentials along with his staff and Singing River Hospital's credentials.
Afterwards, we were taken back to an exam room to meet with Dr. Avara. He said that my BMI was too high and he would prefer that I have the gastric bypass surgery. I told him that I respected his suggestion and that I knew he had much more education and background than I could ever imagine, but that after researching this for over a year and a half, it was going to be the lap band or nothing for me. He said that I would lose weight much slower with the lap band. I explained that it took a very long time to put this weight on so it would take a very long time to take it off. He smiled at me and said, "Ok. Then Lap band it is." I don't know if he was trying to test me to see how strong my will power is or if he just really thought I should do the gastric bypass. But it doesn't matter.
Dr. Avara asks that his patients participate in a liquid diet for the 10 days pre-op. However, due to my high BMI, and knowing that my surgery will be in 14 - 21 days, he asked that I start the liquid diet immediately. He said that I should try to lose between 20 and 30 pounds. This will help lower my BMI, help with anesthesia concerns, and this will help shrink my liver so that he can move it when he installs the lap band.
Monday morning I am to call Bevery Smallwood to set up a Psych evaluation for my weight loss surgery. Then Dr. Avara's office will call me Monday morning with instructions on going to my family physician - Dr. Lowe and having my lab work done, an EKG, chest x-ray, and an upper GI (or swallow study). And we will also compare calendars and set the surgery date for sometime in the next 2 - 3 weeks.
I will check in at Singing River Hospital in Pascagoula around 6:30 am on the morning of the surgery. My surgery will be around 9:00 in the morning and it only takes 35 minutes. I will then be up walking around and then discharged between 11 and 2 depending upon how I recover post-op. In and out in less than 9 hours. But Dr. Avara only performs about 135 weight loss surgeries a year so it's not like he has a bunch of people stacked up and runs them through like a cattle call. He dedicates his entire day to the one patient. I like that concept!
So I am starting my liquid diet. I know it will last for about a month, because I'll have to continue it for about 2 weeks post-op, but I just see it as a "medication" that I only have to endure for a month.
There is a very bright light at the end of this tunnel. And for the first time in a very long time, I have hope. And I don't hate myself. God is good. And I am finally allowing myself to feel worthy of basking in His Glory for the first time in a very long time.
Anxious about tomorrow's seminar
Jul 17, 2008
NOTE - This should have actually been posted yesterday, 07/18/08
Tomorrow morning I meet with Dr. Avara and his staff for my initial seminar!
I've already sat through one in Mobile last fall. So I kind of know what to expect. And this time the timing is right. I have the financing. I feel completely comfortable about this. But now I'm also starting to feel anxious.
I have butterflies in my tummy. I keep eating because "this might be my last meal." I know that I am at the higher end of the scale compared to most of Dr. Avara's surgery patients. But do I weigh too much? How soon can I have my surgery? I'm ready to get this done! I told you I was anxious. LOL!
My prayer is that I get a surgery date tomorrow and that Dr. Avara puts me on some kind of a diet leading up to the surgery. I am worried that I will emotionally eat myself to sickness or cause my labs to be out of whack, or something worse could go wrong with me medically. Trust me - I am NOT normally like this. But I feel like the night before my wedding, or a kid getting ready to go to my 1st day in Kindergarten. And I am having a hard time sitting still and focusing while at work. Just thought I'd jump start the forum by laying it all out there.
I'll try and get back to work. I know my boss would appreciate it.
Bundle of nerves
Jul 12, 2008
Ok. I am a bundle of emotions right now. Anxiety, excitement, relief, nervousness, anticipation. All positive emotions, but I still have a flood of them. Less than a week from now, I go to Ocean Springs for Dr. Avara's seminar. And boy am I ready! I have been researching this forum and others. I even bought "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies". I am even circling notes in the book, and flagging pages. I know! Isn't that funny? 
As a result, I am very comfortable in my decision. I have researched to find out that Dr. Avara is Board-certified in general Surgery. And that Singing River Hospital, along with Dr. Avara and his staff, is one of only two Bariatric Surgery Centers of Excellence in the entire state of Mississippi. The other one is in Oxford. That means that the hospitals in Hattiesburg (where I live) and Jackson aren't even certified as Centers of Excellence. This is only affirmation that God is truly looking out for my health and well-being throughout this process. Woo Hoo!
I need to get back to studying this, but stay tuned. I am about to embark on a whole new lifestyle. And I couldn't be happier!
~ Tammy
