Nine month update and WOW moment

Apr 07, 2011

Nine months ago I weighed close to 400 pounds!  I was soooo unhappy and unhealthy.  I couldn't move and I was killing myself.  I was not the person I once was and I definitely wasn't the person I wanted to be.  I used to be an athlete.  I used to be in shape.  I used to be happy!  I took all I had for granted and slowly lost it all, one meal at a time until it was gone.  I was still loved by others but I really didn't love myself. How could I?  How could I love myself and still mistreat myself the way I was.  I would look myself in the eye in the mirror and look for the strength and conviction I needed to make a change in my life, to get back what I had lost, to be ME again.  I wasn't me.....I was someone...not me!   The old me looked for adventure, looked for competition, embraced life.  In high school I played volleyball, football and baseball.  I kept playing volleyball in college until life kind of got in the way and like all thing that once were volleyball had fallen away.  Then the weight crept up and up and up until I couldn't even see volleyball anymore.  I missed it but figured it was just one of those things I had lost forever.

Fast forward to last night.  I was invited to play some indoor power volleyball on Monday nights at a gym in Greensburg.  I accepted the invitation and showed up before anyone else last night and just waited in my car in the pouring rain until everyone else showed up.  I made my way into the gym and sat around stretching until the other players showed up.  I watched as the others got warmed up as well and as someone who understands volleyball I could tell that everyone else here was a pretty good player.  I started to get nervous and excited all at the same time.  OK so its time to start...time to see how I match up...time to see if I can hang....time to just be in the moment.  Being the new guy in the gym I know that everyone is watching to see what this guy is bringing to the table.  Guess what?  I BROUGHT IT!!!  I hadn't played at this level since I was in high school.  I was moving, jumping, hitting, diving, digging....it was like my body finally caught up to my brain.  For years I would find myself knowing what I wanted my body to do but it just wouldn't do it.  Run over there...(NOPE).....jump up there....(NOPE), until last night!  Run over there....(SURE, NO PROBLEM TODD)...jump up and hit that thing...(YOU GOT IT...ANYTHING ELSE???).  OMG it felt so amazing.  
I kept looking at these young people I was playing with who are athletes and have never lost that ability.  They have no idea that I weighed 400 pounds last year and that I had lost so much.  For all they knew I had been playing volleyball for the past 25 years.  We were on our 5th or 6th game and I thought to myself "why aren't I tired, I shouldn't be able to do this!!!" but I was able!

If you couldn't tell I am so on cloud nine right now!  I am amazed at where I am in my life and I seriously haven't felt this good about myself in decades.  I'm back, I'm back, I'm back!!!!!

Swede  

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