sweetsandy81671

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weighed in at 259lbs
I went to the doctor today! i HAD TO SIGN A CONCENT FORM ...READING IT WAS A LITTLE SCARRY BUT i GUESS THEY HAVE TO ADD EVERYTHING IN IT HUH??HE said things look good and I will do fine, I have really noother heath problems so he thinks I should breaze on thru it! I sure do hope so!! Already 17 pounds down and 113 to go! WOW!! I AM EXCITED!! WWOOOOHHHHOOOOOOO!!!! i ASKED HIM ABOUT LOOSE SKIN I AM AFRAID OF A TON OF IT, LOOKING AT ME HE THINK I SHOULD DO GREAT!! i HOPE HE IS RIGHT!! 


THANKS TO ALL OF YOU !!! FOR ALL THE INFORMATION WHEN I NEEDED IT, THE SHOULDER TO CRY ON WHEN I WAS SAD! ENCOURAGEMENT WHEN I FELT DOWN, LET THE SUN SHINE DOWN!! THANKS!

Hi!! well it is Easter! I have 1 week to go before surgery, I can not BELIEVE this is really happeneing! Last week I went for a class that teaches how to live after having surgery. Aslo teached about the liquid diet you are on 2 weeks before surgery, to shrink your liver. This is the diet, 1 protien shake in the morning, 1 at lunch, dinner 4 oz meat and 1/2 cup non starchy veggies, then you can have 2 sugar free popcycles and jello cups. THAT IS IT! all the S/F drinks you want - no pop for those who are addicted to it. I am not... one of the things I am not addicted to. I am in the diet for 1 week, the first few days was hard I will admit that, but now it really is not to hard. I just try to fine other things to do and try not to have to go to the store so I am not around the bad foods. Easter this year my duaghters didn't get alot of those candies I knew would be tempting I just didn't get much at all. They were fine with it. 

I ended up telling my mother who I was no going to tell until afterwards just so I didn't have to hear anything negitive or have her blow it out of the water, well, I didn't tell her it was my sister that told her, All she really said about it was "do you really think 1/2 cup of food was going to fill you up for the day" I think that is like most people who doesn't know much about the surgery, just an unresearched answer. My mother is a drama queen and somenoe who if she doesn't like somthing will let you know. I have to admit the last few years I have pulled away from her becasue she upsets me so much. I love her and wish we could have the kind of relationship that was a close one but I am not sure if that will ever happen, thats why I am so close with my sister. My sister is more a mother figure to me than my mother is.... Well, anyways, my mother is going to be there at the hospital at 5:00 am the day of surgery, I really didn't want ther there but I do nto have the heart to tell her that. I just hope she doesn't start crying and over reacting to upset me before I go in. My sister is going to be there a little later cause hse has to drive over 2 hours to be there and she has 4 kids to take care of before she can make the trip. My brother Scotty is goign the be there and my boyfriend ... he is another story in it's self. 

I am scared!!! SCARED!! SCARED!!! I am afraidn of the pain, afraid of the catheter bag, and the tube that is going to be in me for a week. Sometimes I am afraid of being thin... Something I have always wanted my whole life now it is here I am afraid of it. That is weird!! I wonder if I am the only one that feels like that. I am not sure what it will be like to get attention from men, not the bottom feeders like i am used to  but good men. I look forward to buying clothes, going places with ease, crossing my legs, bending over to tie my shoes, just the little things. I know I am making the right decision but i think it is a little hard to say good- bye to the person I am now. I am sure I will look back and never think twice. I just want it to be over with. WOW! I CAN"T BELIEVE MY DREAM IS REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!

 

hi- Yes today I had all my pre op testing done. Whew! that is over!! I hate needles! Last night I had my pre and post op class. Where they tell you your pre op diet- Mine is 1 protien shake in the morning- one at lunch and a 4 oz of meat and 1/2 cup non starchy veggies my snacks are 2 sugar free popcycles and 2 s/f jellos. Thats it! Let me tall you it is not much! all the crystal light I wish!! thats good. 

My sister came with me to the appointment, it was nice she went i thought she wouldbe bored with it but she said she learned alot and so happy she went, I would recommend being a bringing a friend or someone with you to the class, just helps to have 2 people hear the same things. ..... surgery on the 16th~

Ok - in 23 days is surgery! I think about this night and day,day and night, I talk about , read about it, I think about it at work, in the shower, eating dinner, all the time. I wonder what am I going to lookl like? How am I going to feel? am I going to be scared going into surgery? will it help me? what is my body going to look like? Will my pains go away? How am I going to feel about the attention I may get from men? I have always been over weight my WHOLE life- always wanting to be that girl in school who was center of attention that everyone wanted to be. I just can't wait for this to be here! I know it will come and pass and then I will be a year out. its like waiting for my birthday when I was a kid.... wow! my whole life is going to change in the mater of 23 days!

I am ready! 

I have everything pretty prepared for the before and after surgery. I have people lined up to help and people on call in case I need help. I will say throughout this whole thing I really have been humbled by all the people who really care for me. I don't thinkI quite knew until now. 

I have a class a week after monday, My sister who lives about 2 hours from me and has 4 kids is driving down just to pick me up so we can drive another 30 minutes in a different direction for a 3 hour meeting! The meeting is about how my life will change after the surgery. Eating, excersing, recovery ect. My sister is going to help me take notes so I have something to refer back to. The nurses recommended it and my sister wnats to be ther for me -- means alot to me!

Day of my surgery MY boyfriend is supposed to take me and stay with me - my youngest brother is going to come up too. the day after surgery my best friend has taken off work to stay with me and help me - she is a homehealth care provider - how could I have gotten so lucky! Then I think my sister is comeing back up - the 3rd day I hope to be relised. Going home by Rich- then the day after I come home will  Ann again (best friend) and then my sister for the weeknd. I am sure more people will come by but this is the main plan. 

3 weeks after surgery I have to have foot surgery- wow ! I am lined up for that too- going to be a exciting month!

I give up on men! I just need to really vent so I thought here on my page is a good place!

So I am dating this guy- he is in one of my pics- We never spend time together- maybe 8 hours a week- if that- he lives just a few blocks from me with his kids and I live with mine- we have been together for 2 years- and he is supposed to help me after I have this surgery. Ihave a feeling I am going to be going alone- he never makes time for me- we never get alone time- he just told me today his live does not revolve around me that he has a life that he needs to do things. WELL we are never together what the hell is he doing? What ever! I am so upset right now I think I am going to just burst! I have gained a few pounds I need to get off before surgery- I have a good feeling it is because I just wait here for him to come over all the freaking time. I know I should move on but I care about him it is harder to leave than stay- well that is how I was feeling - Now I think it is cause this surgery  - I feel likeI do not need him anymore but want to know that he will miss me or something. that the time together was not for nothing. be he acts like he doenst care. I cant stand men
Are all men this way? I know in the beginning you spend lots of time toether but what about 4 years later? is it possiable to fine that person who just adores you? I hope someday I will know something different. I feel like I have always had to pick from the bottom of the barrel. I am tired of feeling like I am nothing becasue he never takes the time to renew our relationship. LikeI am going to be here no matter what
suprise suprise some day I just may not be!

 ok i give up on trying to make a cool page! I can not get a freaking thing to load on my page! This stinks!

I have a bad back, so I go get these steriod shots on my back. I just love them--- NOT! My brother took me today, seem I have just gone down the list of people I know to help me with them when I go.. I need a driver or they will not do them. They help relieve the pain... I get so tired of the pain!! I wish for it to go away and never come back, sometimes I get depressed about it and htink it is just not fair I have to deal with the pain everyday. Someitmes I will think and look at other people having a good time with no bothers , I try to be like that but in my head I think i just wish i didnthave to live like this. I just want to be able to be normal. I hope after the surgery it will help. I really hop e it does!

April 16,2007 will be the beginning of my new life!!! I can not believe it!! I know it is a way off but I needed the time to get things arranged, but that is the date!!!

April 1st I am set up to go to the class that will teaches the what youa re going to be able to eat before and after the surgery- 
I know i will have to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks before surgery, I am not quite sure why but I will learn that in the class. I just can't believe this is really happeneing!!!