Mar 08, 2010
Barring any unforseen circumstances, this time...three weeks from now...I'll be resting in my hospital bed, showing everyone how hardcore I am by not pressing the pain button. I'll be the tough one asking for my sneakers so I can walk the hall. I am woman, hear me roar.
Okay, to be honest, I'm getting nervous. I know that it's normal at this point to go through all the emotions, sometimes all of them in the same day. I still can't believe that this is finally happening for me. I think the reality of it all will probably start on the 14th when I begin my all-liquid diet.
I'm trying to not let anything bring me down, but it seems like the closer my surgery date gets, the more stress mounts up on top of me. So much to worry about. I live alone, what if something happens in the middle of the night during my recovery and I need help? What if I have a complication? My surgeon is 250 miles away. My insurance will pay for surgery, but not complications. I need this surgery to go flawlessly, and I need my recovery to be speedy and perfect. Am I asking too much?
I know I shouldn't get worked up over things that haven't happened and that are out of my control, but it's hard sometimes. So, I'll just keep smiling, and counting down the days.
This might actually happen!
Jan 24, 2010
My insurance changed at the first of the year, and I had told myself I'd wait at least a week before I started making phone calls. I wanted to give myself some time to do some serious soul-searching. I guess really I was a little scared to make the calls and start the long process of rejections and denials. On Monday (Jan 11th) things did get off to a rocky start, because when I started reasearching which bariatric surgeons I could use, I was incredibly frustrated by the fact that I couldn't find one in Oklahoma or Texas. After about ten phone calls, and a couple of emails, I found out that the insurance will only pay for one particular surgeon.
I live in Oklahoma City, and the surgeon I can use...is in Little Rock, AR. That's almost 350 miles. It's a 5 hour drive. If I make the trip, does that prove how dedicated I am? I sure hope so...because I've already made the trip once.
Prior to scheduling surgery, there's a list of things I have to do.
- attend his seminar.
- listen in on a diet/nutrition conference call.
- attend a support group meeting with his group.
- labs and any required pre-surgery testing.
- consult with Dr. Baker
I attended the seminar on Tuesday (Jan 19th). Tomorrow morning (Jan 25th) I have labs drawn. Tomorrow night I'll listen in on the conference call. On Friday I start my hemoccult tests. (Yay, right? But at least it's not a colonoscopy.)
I can't even describe how easy my insurance company makes this. I don't have to do any psych evaluations or sleep studies. In fact, I don't even need a letter from my GP. The insurance company said "If Dr. Baker feels you are a candidate for surgery, we will pay." I'll be paying a hefty deductible on my insurance, as well as 20% of the total cost, but really, that seems like pennies compared to what I'd have to pay if I was paying out of pocket.
I also have to mention that the staff at Dr. Bakers office have all been so helpful. I feel really fortunate that things are working out so well for me. I just have to take some time each day to remember why I'm doing this, and how blessed I am to be having such an easy ride.
Nov 25, 2009
I've struggled with my weight for so long. It seems like a war that wages inside me, even when I'm not really fighting. At 35 and with a BMI of 41 I feel like I'm not living, just existing. Even worse, when I'm struggling to breathe after climbing the stairs at my college, and my heart feels like it will burst out of my chest...I feel like I'm dying. This isn't how I want to live.
I've fought this war in several battles; Weight Watchers, Atkins, cabbage soup, bananas, low fat, low calorie, you name it. No matter how much success I've had, my celebration turns into inevitable failure. At my lowest adult weight in 2003 (160 lbs) I felt like I was on top of the world. Add some serious stress, some strange medical problems, and then losing custody of my kids, and within 6 months I had ballooned to over 200 lbs. To be honest, looking back, I was so emotionally devastated that I didn't really care, and the weight came on so fast, that by the time I was 250 pounds I was still a little shocked that my size 16 pants didn't fit.
I can't remember who planted this seed in my mind, this seed of an idea that a gastric bypass might save my life, but it's a seed that has grown, flourished even. Even when people tell me "Oh, you're not heavy enough for wls." or "You look fine as you are." I know that my health is not what it should be.
Last year I actually looked into how much it would cost to have surgery as a self-paying patient because my insurance doesn't pay for bariatric surgery. It was just absolutely out of my budget, and any complications wouldn't have been covered. So, I packed the idea away, but it's something I never stopped thinking about.
Last week my HR department sent out a memo informing us that our insurance will be changing after the 1st of the year, and bariatric surgery will now be covered!! I can't believe it! As soon as I read the memo I started imagining what life would be like as a healthy person with a normal BMI and weight. With a BMI of 41, I'm sure I qualify, and now I can only wait until the insurance changes.
I have no idea what hospitals and doctors will be on my new insurance so I've not no idea who my potential surgeon will be, but I'm already praying that God will bless him and that when I'm the patient on his table that he will be the catalyst that changes my life. In the meantime, I'm reading the forums here trying to decide if I want to have LapBand, RNY, or one of the other surgery options. I'm trying not to get too attached to any one idea, because as I said before, I'm not sure what, exactly, will be covered by my new insurance.
Anyway, don't mind me as I lurk around the forums. I'm inspired by your stories, and even when I have read some of the "horror stories" I know that I need to be fully informed. Your stories "feed my seed" and I'm sure by the time I reach my surgery date I'll feel like an old pro. I'm ready to say "Lets get this show on the road!"