Tausha P.
Here is my story: I have been in denial about my weight since about 7th grade. The problem is my whole life people have been very complimentary to me about my facial features. And at some point I just decided that I was beautiful... besides being chubby, fat, obese, morbidly obese, super morbidly obese, somewhere along the lines I had decided I was fabulous and was going to lead the revolution for fat girls. But the thing is... deeeeep, deeeeep down in there somewhere: I hated it.
I spent my early adult life trying to validate myself with men. Which in turn was actually making my self esteem get worse and worse. But remember- I was convinced that I was sexy, and amazing at 250-270 lbs and as long as men were trying to have sex with me- I kept myself fooled. This is one of the devils tricks. Instant gratification is a blind road to destruction. So in the peek of my slutty, fabulous, fat, party girl phase: I met James. A cute, white boy with a tan and muscles that chased me and adored me, and controlled me and manipulated me and married me and impregnated me and abused me and left me.
And now here I am folks: a 343 lb, 27 year old single mom, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I used to like myself, right? I used to know who I was, right? I used to have energy and joy, right? I can't really remember... I look back and all I can really see is a girl who was pretending so hard that she let herself get into an abusive, controlling relationship because she refused to see the truth. I didn't really love myself... because I was hurting myself by eating too much, smoking, drinking all the time, and sleeping around. HELLO! But thank God, I am here. Thank God I am no longer in denial. :-)
So~ lets raise our Greek yogurts to reality: here we are, we have all finally let ourselves accept that we were in denial, or we are too depressed to see ourselves out, or we finally just realize there is no other way. Cheers to Weight Loss Surgery. Cheers to my chance for a second chance at this little thing called life.
Peace and Love
