Goals

Mar 20, 2012

My friend Nathalie just asked me to go for a walk with her.  I so welcomed her invitation.  It was nice to be out and about in the nice weather. 

While we were walking, I was telling Nathalie how she is such a role model to me.  She is the person who is able to do anything when it comes to exercising.  I wish I had half her drive.  I envy how she is able to run.  She is able to run 5K and 10K and is now training for half a marathon. I am so proud of her and at the same time, I envy her.

While we were walking, we talked about goals, about setting goals.  And Nathalie said something about setting goals and not letting her weight be in the way.  That rang a bell with me.  I wish I was able to bring my thinking to be in line with hers.  She is such an amazing person. 

At the same time though, I've realized that I'm at a point where I'm actually scared of setting goals.  I've failed so many times, too many times that I'd rather live with no goals that way I will never feel like I've failed.  It makes no sense that I feel that way but at the same time, it does make sense cause of the way I feel and what I've lived through. 

Sometimes, I think that something might be wrong with me.  I feel as though I can never reach any goals.  I forget about them or my immediate needs become more important than my long term goal.  But how do I change things so that I can remember what I want.  While talking to her as well, I just realize that I don't have a list of goals or accomplishments that have nothing to do with weight.  It's like I'm putting my life on hold until I feel like I've accomplished something with my weight.  So I no longer feel like a failure in that department.  But while I'm focusing all my energy on weight loss where I haven't been successful, am I actually missing out on life?  How many things am I not accomplishing, am I missing out because of that darn goal?

Another thing I realized during that walk is that I don't really have any goals.  What do I want to accomplish before I die?  That is such a tough question cause I feel I've accomplished many of my goals:

1.  University Degree

2.  Great paying job

3.  Married an amazing man

4.  Buy a house

5.  Have great kids

 

What's next for me?  What are my goals for the next 5 years.  What is it I want to accomplish by April 2017?

 

A.  Weight 199 lbs

B.  Visit Africa

C.  Get out of debt (credit cards and line of credit)

D.  Yearly Family 2K

E.  Yearly 5K for me.

F.  Yearly family trip

G.  Get a Level 4 manager job

 

Weekly goals:

 

a.  Walk at lunch time 3 times per week

b.  Journal twice a week

c.  Attend yoga once a week

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