vikkihayward

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Ok so I have been MIA for quite some time now. Things are going great, just extremely busy.  I am working two jobs and running my own business so my time is stretched thin these days. My weightloss was going very slow for a while but I have now kicked it into high gear and have made time for exercise. I am as of today under 150 pounds!!!!! I never thought I would say that! I cannot tell you the last time I saw 149 on a freakin' scale!

I am feeling great, I love to run and exercise, I am wearing a size 9 in juniors (I only buy juniors since I like the style and they are short enough for me). I never thought I would see the day where all my jeans are low rise and all my tops are tight because I want them to be!!!

My whole life has changed for the better, I feel good, I am healthy, I am exercising, I am way more active with my family, I feel sexy, I ACTUALLY FEEL BEAUTIFUL! I am meeting more friends just for the simple fact that I don't hide from people anymore.I can't believe I am only 19 pounds away from my doctors goal. He wants me at 130. My personal goal though is to be at 125 if I can.

I will have to update my pictures soon, I would LOVE to see the difference.

Anyway, just thought I would let everyone know I am still alive and kicking, I hope all of you are well on your way to the happiness you deserve. Love you all!

Things have been so crazy lately, I don't have time to go into it all right now but just wanted to stop by and check in.  I am down 51 pounds as of this morning. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! My goal was to be at 50 pounds lost by Christmas and I have now passed that goal.  I am so freaking excited!!!!  I only have 24 more pounds to get to my goal, that seems so unreal to me.  I need to start taking some pictures and post them.

I feel so healthy, confident, pretty and very proud of myself. 

Ugh, I am soooo exhausted. My DH is doing much better after a two week stay in hospital. We found out one of his medications was causing a reaction, the doctor said if he had taken one more dose it could have been fatal. Good Lord!!

I think finally I am getting the hang of eating with a band. the weight has been slow going but I am down to 156 so that is 49 pounds, I am only a few ounces away from 50 pounds lost! I want to at least do that by my birthday.  I have a dr. appointment on Monday and I think I am going to tell him not to do any fills again (this will be the third month with no fills) I am at 3.6 or 4.2 or something like that, I can't remember but I think that is good enough. With all the stress I have been under eating sometimes has been a real struggle.

I finally admitted to myself I need to SLOW DOWN, pick off tiny pieces and chew chew chew and now things have been much better.  It is just so hard to come to grips with that, you have to change your whole way of eating which is pounded into your head from birth. 

I love how I feel now, even if something happened and I stopped loosing I would be okay with where I am, I feel healthy, pretty and full of life. Don't get me wrong, my heart is still set on getting to 130 or 125 and I am not going to stop chugging along but it is nice to like yourself again.

I will have to post pics soon, I know I keep saying that.  We are going to get family pics for this xmas, the first ones ever!!! I was always too embarassed.

Well off to work, I am at my 2nd job. Working 2.5 jobs is killing me but we do what we have to do right?

Hope everyone is doing well

Wow, it has been a tough week. Last Thursday night we rushed my DH to the hospital he had tightness in his chest and was blacking out. His blood pressure at the ER was 80 over 45 the nurses freaked! They immediately admited him and he has been in there ever sinc.  They have ruled out anything structurally in his heart and brain but did find that at some point he has had a small stroke.  Mind you this is a guy who has never smoked, does not drink, eats healthy and exercises 2 hours a day. He is so upset over all of this.  He is now being evaluated by a kidney specialist since apparently your kidneys can cause major problems with your blood pressure and heart rate.

So about stress and your band, since I have been super stressed out my band is soooo freaking tight! I almost called the doc to get some taken out but they told me to just start deep breathing before I eat and force myself to relax, I also have been drinking some hot tea a little before I eat and it has helped.  Just amazing what a difference stress can make.

The good news is I am down a few pounds to 157!!! so I am officially just overweight!! Next stop NORMAL TOWN!  I will check in soon, I am hoping they release my hubby today or tomorrow at the latest.

Whoo hoo!  I finally made it to the 150's, how freakin' cool.  Only one more pound and I am no longer obese!  Although I don't know how long this will last, the last couple of days my band has been loose and I have eaten way more than I should. I can't remember the last time I weighed 159.  Glad to be having a good day.

If I have learned one thing during this journey it is that I prefer consistancy.  I would rather lose 1 pound a week instead of this loosing then being stuck for a few weeks then loosing.   I went for my doc appointment on Monday and we both decided not to do a fill again. I was afraid if he put more in I would be too tight.  I lost 5 pounds last month and he was very happy with that and so am I.  Like he said would you rather stay where I am at and worst case only lose a few pounds or get a fill now, be too tight, get something stuck and have to go in for an unfill and gain back 6 or so pounds in just a few weeks.  Ok that is a no brainer I will stay where I am at.  I have got to get exercising, even if it kills me.  Right now I am working a full time job, part time job and running my own business. I drive an hour each way to my full time job as well so any extra time I have I use for spending with family.  I am just going to have to figure something out and maybe make a strict schedule for myself so I can see where I have time to fit it in. 

I still have not taken my updated pictures yet, I keep forgetting. I will do it this week though, I really want to see a side by side, I think it will make me feel better. 

Anyway off to another day of work work work.

Well i did it, the day after my 6 month bandiversary I got to 45 pounds so I will take it.  I was worried this weekend since we went to Disney and stayed all weekend. I packed protein rich snacks and tried very hard but a few times i had some things I should not have so I was terrified to get on the scale this morning. But I was surprised when I was still at 160!  I didn't lose anything but even better I didn't gain anything!

I am going to keep my goals simple for October, I want to be down to 155 by the end of the month, that is only 5 pounds so lets see if I can do it.  I go to the doc on the 13th and I am going to ask for a fill since I didn't get one last time, I think I am ready for a small one, nothing too crazy.  Only 2 more pounds and then I am just "overweight" according to my BMI. YIPPEE, I can't wait for my doc to take OBESE off my chart. I freaking hate that, they always write it so damn big on there.  I think they do it for the shock value.

Well off to another week, I hope I can get another pound outta here by next Monday at least.  I will try to take new side by side pics today and post them.

Well at this time (8:00am) 6 months ago I was being wheeled into the surgery prep room about to begin a journey of a lifetime.  I didn't quite make it to my 45 pounds lost, I am 1 OZ SHORT!!! can you believe it!  I'll take it though and I won't claim my 45 pounds until that 1 oz is gone.  I am extremely pleased with where I am at this point.  My doc said there is no reason why I can't be at goal or very close to goal in another 6 months.  I can't even fathom that.  This 6 months flew by so I am sure the next 6 months will as well.

I can't believe I am almost 160, I am going to be in the 150's soon! Holy crap! What blows my mind is that I am still in the obese catagory for my BMI. I have to be 158 before I graduate to just overweight.

Well off to trudge through another Friday, we are going to Disney this weekend, we got a hotel room since I found one cheaper than it would be for gas to drive back and forth for two days how sad is that!  We live about an hour away.

It is so hard having to admit to yourself that you are the problem. My weightloss has really slowed down and didn't seem to be moving at all, I was getting frustrated and upset then I decided to step back and take a good look at myself.  What did I find?

I was eating way too many carbs
calorie intake was higher than I thought
not exercising
forgetting to take my vitamins
and worst of all I started slipping in a bad snack late before bed

So why would I lose any weight!!

So now I have cut the carbs way out, watching what I am eating, back to exercising and vitamins and guess what....

I lost another pound, imagine that!

Do we ever learn? Do we ever kill the fat person mentality or do we just go through phases where we do well, slip back to our old habits then we slap ourselves back into reality?

I don't want the fat girl mentality, I want the healthy girl mentality damn it and no matter how hard she tries to surface I will just have to keep kicking her aside.


Also
Still no word on the liver issue, I am now on a new BP med with a beta blocker so hopefully that helps my migranes. Although I have heard this medicine can make you dizzy and have a hard time thinking clearly or communicating clearly. OH GREAT!!!  Just what I need, to be more loopy than I already am. I will be glad when I am just done with medication period!!!

Well things are going pretty good, I went for a fill last week and we both decided not to do one since I was so tight from the last one. It is finally loosening up a bit but I have to be REALLY careful how I eat and pay attention.  I am down another pound putting me at 163 which is cool with me.  It is slowing way down but I have not been allowed to exercise for a while. My doc is running all sorts of blood tests on me since I have been having so many strange issues such as SEVERE fatigue, leg cramps, severe lower back cramping, heart palpitations, dizziness and all sorts of fun stuff.  These are signs of many things, it could be potassium, B-12, Iron, not enough protein to kidney failure or thyroid so she is running the gamut on me. 

So I got a call last night from the doctor and my liver enzymes are off the chart and have her concerned. She did a Hepatitis test and it was negative so now I have to go for an ultrasound.  I have started using a protein supplement too so hopefully that will help out with everything.

Other than that things are going good, I got my hair cut, my mom bought me a bunch of new clothes, I am fitting into Large in junior or medium in misses and my jeans range all over the place, I have fit into everything from 8's to 12's just depends on the pants.

I hope everyone is doing well and I will update more on my health issues once I know more.