vikkihayward

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am having one of those "c'mon hurry up" days. I can't seem to concentrate on anything, all I can think about is getting to the surgery date! I swear someone has slowed down time just to make me go nuts.  Wednesday is the start of my liquid diet so at least I will feel like I am getting somewhere not to mention the scale should start going in the proper direction. 

I can't wait to be standing in the shower the morning of my surgery freaking out about what I am about to do. I was very happy to hear from another girl on here over the weekend who had the surgery a few days ago and she said it was not real painful she felt more like she had way overdone an abdominal workout and didn't want to move.  I can handle that for sure.

UGH I AM SOOO READY.

Wow, hard to believe my surgery is in less than 3 weeks! I start my optifast in just 5 days.  My family is having Easter this weekend so I can join in, we are making it a celebration of the new me, Easter, and my 8th wedding anniversary.  Gosh it seems like we have been married longer than that.
Hard to believe this is my final weekend to eat what I want.  I will do my best not to go crazy and just enjoy small amounts of yummy stuff.

I have a "star" system for my 3 year old son for when he does certain things around the house. We have not started the new fake money system I talked about in a blog earlier. But the star chart we have done for about a year now. Each night he gets to put stars on his chart for certain tasks.  I have decided to make one of his tasks to help Mommy through all this.  Basically his job is to keep me busy. So I explained to him that when Mommy comes to him and tells him I need to have some fun (in other words, do something to keep my mind off food) he has to pick something for us to play with and keep me busy.  I had to laugh since he said Okay Mommy, we can play Candy Land!
I thought Oh great that will keep my mind off food!!!  I think I will have to invest in some board games that do not have food themes!!!

I am sort of a freak about my closet, I have to admit it is ridiculous. It is almost the size of a one car garage (I did give up a portion of it for my hubby to put all his police gear) He has his own closet though.  Anyway I have all my clothes organized by type of clothing, color and short or long sleeve. (yes I know OCD)  Well I have a ton of clothes I don't fit into anymore just folded in piles on the shelves above the hangers and it kills me to go in there and see all these really nice things I can't squeeze my fat butt into.  My husband now thinks I am crazy....uh crazy-er, since he heard me in there talking to my clothes last night.  I was warning the smaller clothes that i am coming for them and I told the current clothes they are going to be out in the cold soon.  I didn't think anyone was listening, my hubby said I need to get some friends.

I felt like a broken record today. I went to the Dr. for an EKG as per my previous blog. So I get there, the check-in girl asks me my reason for visit so I explain the whole story. I then get taken to the room by another girl who asks the same question so I go through the whole story. Then another girl comes in to do the EKG and asks me as well, so once again I go through the story.  And finally the Dr. comes in and.....you guessed it, he asks me why I am there and yet again I go through the whole story!!! What is the point of asking if you are not going to share information.  Not to mention the Dr. must have asked me 4 times if I needed a copy of the EKG all of which I heard myself say "yes" but he seemed to be tossing the question out there with no intention of listening but to fill some sort of void.

It doesn't end there, get this, the Dr. (who was a stand in for my regular Dr who was out due to knee surgery), proceeded to give me his "theory" on why people are overweight. As you can imagine I was on the edge of my seat waiting for this breakthrough theory to finally put my entire life of overeating into terms that I, as a fat person could understand.

I blinked at him as he proceeded to sum it up to the fact that all fat people do not know how to communicate properly and by not expressing themselves they become introverted and eat to supress feelings.  I found it almost impossible not to bust out laughing as I sat there looking at him appearing to be about 160 pounds soaking wet.  

I was very polite (my husband would have been proud of me). Even though in my head I chuckled at the vision of me jumping up and exclaiming "holy crap Doc, you have solved the riddle of fatness, lets call the people over at the Nobel Prize board and get this thing rolling"  No instead I ended the converstation with a slight smile and said. "you know, I don't want to talk about it" and we both laughed.

Ugh, I got a call from my Cardiologists office and they need to reschedule my appointment for March 13 and they cannot see me until April 3rd. I said well that won't work because I have surgery scheduled on April 3rd and I need to see the cardiologist before my surgery to get an updated EKG and get a letter of release saying it is okay for me to have surgery.  The girl was so rude, she said well you will have to reschedule your surgery!. I said well I cannot as I and my husband have already scheduled our time off and it cannot be changed now just because the doctor decided to change his schedule.  So after some bickering she said well you can go to your regular doctor and have them do the EKG then fax it to us and he can then write a release letter.  So I called my doc and they are seeing me on Tuesday to do the EKG. I think I will get a copy from my doc and personally take it to my cardiologists office to make sure they get this crap done. I really need to find a new cardiologist I always have trouble with this office and the staff can be rude. Everytime I am in the office they are being yelled at by someone for losing charts, information or messing up appointments. I think it is time for a visit to healthgrades.com to leave some notes about his office.

Ok so I was thinking last night about my surgery and writing out some goals. I wanted to make a list of goals with rewards that were not food related when it hit me that I am setting my son up for the same failures I have had.  He is 3 and has always been an extremely healthy eater. He loves tofu, vegetables, chicken, fruit and has never really wanted sugar, candy sweets soda etc.  Lately he discovered he likes chocolate chip cookies and I realized I gave them to him as a reward for something. 

We have had a lot of trouble with him eating, he could go days without eating if you let him (wish I had that problem). He was a "cheeker" up until about 6 months ago, where he stored food in his cheeks for hours and refused to eat it.  So anyway I noticed last night my husband and I have been saying "if you eat your dinner you can have a cookie" or if you pick up all your toys you can have a cookie.

Food should not be a reward it should be a treat. So I decided to stop doing that and have put a jar out and I am going to buy some fake money, then as rewards he will get the fake money to put in the jar. Then once a month or so we will tally the money and I will take him shopping with his own money. 
(I decided to use fake money as I don't like just having money lying around the house not to mention fake money is much more fun and colorful to a 3 year old than a yucky dirty green dollar)

I have a surgery date!! Yipee! April 3rd.  I start my 2 weeks of liquid hell on March 19th.  I am sure I will be mega b*tch for those 14 days.  At least I won't be PMS'ing then so I think my husband and son will be safe in the house.  I am sure I will survive.  Hmmm my 8 year wedding anniversary is on April 8th I guess dinner at a nice restaurant is out of the question. 

I could have had my surgery on the 27th of this month but the assisting dr is out of town.  My assiting Dr. is Grossbard one of the spokesman for LapBand. He is one of the top surgeons for LapBand and has had the surgery himself. I am very glad to have him as part of my team. He is quite the personality as well, sick and twisted just like me.  My actual Dr is Dr. Dicicco, kinda quiet, extremely attractive but from what I have seen so far he is excellent as well.  I think I am in good hands.

Well I better get back to work deadlines are looming...stress level rising...

Well I have not posted in a while. Things have been crazy! Let see. First when I went to see the doctor I found out I had not been approved yet, my wonderful husband misunderstood so I sort of did things backwards.  So I did my appointment then I did my phsyc eval and redid a seminar for the new place in the same week.  Then I had to see my regular doctor, do my nutrition appointment and get copies of all my old records from my old doctor who I had to track down.  Long story short on the 25th we finally submitted everything to the insurance and YIPEE I got my approval today!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy this is finally moving forward.  I am waiting for the surgeons office to call me today to schedule my surgery and when I can pick up my Optifast.  Once I have a surgery date I will feel much better. It really has not hit me yet that this is finally going to happen.  I can't wait to start logging my progress.  I am sure I will end up like the majority of us out here and start off blogging like mad only to taper off as I lose weight and get more comfortable with life.  But you know what??? I am ok with that!! I just want to be healthy and feel good.  I am tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin. I just hope and pray I can do this and be successful.  I know I have it in me and I know I have all the love and support I need. I just need to just say screw it and run with it.  Hopefully this time next year I can look back on these early posts and laugh at how excited I was and be proud of what I have done.

Cool! I got a date scheduled to meet the surgeon on January 28th at 3:30pm.  11 long days away.  I hope to get a surgery date in February but I am guessing it probably won't be until March but a girl can dream right?
Here's to counting down the days until my consult!

Yeah, I got the call today that everything is a go! I spent this evening filling out my registration online for the hospital and bariatric center and now I wait for an appointment with the doctor.  I am so excited I can't stand it, I want my life back. So next step is getting to my appointment and seeing what all I have to do from here and get it done so I can get a surgery date! YIPPPPPEEEEEE the hard part is done!

Well stage one is on, my wonderful husband is helping me get going and trying to get the Lap Band surgery approved with our insurance. I need to do this for myself and my family. I have a heart condition and my weight just makes it that much worse. If i ever want to have another child I HAVE to get this weight off or I will not survive another pregnancy. It really is not fair that my hubby and son have to suffer for my weight issues, I have to do something. I just have to hope and pray I get approval and can move forward.