BETHC500

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Hi all,

Over the last year I have gained 30 lbs. I just slid back into old habits. Not quite eating fast food everyday and chocolates but I learned how to eat around my sleeve. I let the daily exercise slide and I am eating way too many carbs. I eat until I am full then wait for an hour or two then I eat some more. This fall I am having trouble fitting into my autumn clothes from just last year. things are very tight and last year they were loose. So here we are, starting day to get back on track.... DAY 1

I will go to the gym every day, track my foods, weight myself everyday, and start reading/reciting positive/motivational/ confidence building things. I need to get the positive back in my head and reduce my negative self talk. And I have to stop making excuses to do the wrong things. Just a taste is not working... or I will eat better tomorrow... it doesnt cut it. Its bad for me.  

I am worth the sacrifice, hard work and effort it takes to be healthy and feel good about myself...

I am gonna get it done..............

 

Today I weighed myself and realized that I am down 150 lbs since my highest recorded weight in 2003. as for surgery weight, I have lost 109 since I began this journey. I find that i still want to weight myself everyday but I don't because at this point I am just living my life. I am active and I exercise every day. I have more energy than ever and I feel good when I put something on. Although the saggy skin and the apron bother me naked, thank god for spanks and Bali bras (the only maker I have ever found that has my size that fits (38b) and is comfortable. I also found smoother type tank tops to wear under my shirts that smooth out the wrinkly saggy skin with out flattening my breasts to pancakes. I still have 14 lbs to go for my big goal but I am doing it more slowly now. I know I can be more rigid and work out more if I want to. But I am comfortable losing it more slowly now. I am truly starting to feel normal. I can sit in an airplane seat and not worry if I will fit, or if i will be able to buckle the seatbelt. I can go into a store and find a shirt or something that I can fit into. I can stand in a crowded elevator or cramp space and I don't feel like I should be apologizing for taking up the space of three people (well sort of felt that way, very conspicuous feeling). I remember all the feelings and all the times I decided not to go out or go somewhere because I did not want to feel that way. I just avoided uncomfortable situation. I missed so much. I am loving life... I love my sleeve.

Today I am 100 lbs down... 22 lbs to go.
I am actually 142 lbs down from my highest weight... when I lose the last 22 I will have lost 164 (from my highest weight)  and I will weigh 164lbs... I will be exactly half the size I was back in 2003... Well the recorded size anyway. I stopped weighing myself when my scale would no longer record my weight back in 1998 or so. I was so frustrated and unhappy back then that I had decided that I was fat and that was all there was to it... I was not going to worry about being fat because I felt helpless to lose it for good. I have a few old pictures from then and I know I was significantly higher in weight than 328... in 2001 I was in a 32 plus and I started trying to eat healthier... In 2003 I was in a 28 - 30 plus... And they weighed me at the doctors and I was at 328 lbs when I started having back problems.  Now I am 22 lbs away... feeling better than I ever have and gaining more confidence each day.  I LOVE MY SLEEVE.......... 

Today the scale read 195... my biggest goal yet... I was here in 2007... then gained 91 lbs back... I am 31 lbs from my goal weight of 164... no longer over weight....  soon.... Woo Hoo  I love my sleeve....................

Today I weighed mysef and found that I am 1lb away from my first big goal, my lowest weight. Last time I lost weight I lost 133 lbs and got to 195lbs but could not get any lower... then the weight creeped back on... hurt my back and it piled on over the last 4 years... in just 8 months I gained 31 lbs after my back surgery. I was so disgusted and depressed. I went to the seminar back in June and I decided... I was going to do what I had to do and get healthy. I hit my lowest emotional point and I wanted to live. I want a life. I did all the things I was suppose to do and I was lucky enough for surgey to get approved and my work schedule to sort itself out. I wrote down all my goals... big and small... I look at them frequently. I imagine them happening. And they are happening now. My highest weight was 328 in 2003, my lowest weight was in 2007 and it was 195 (until I lose 2lbs more). My next goal is 186 and that will be 100 lbs since I started the surgery journey. All I can say, is I should have done it sooner. I should not have listened to all those people who don't know crap telling me "you can do it on your own" and every other thing. This surgery was the best thing that I ever, ever, ever did for myself. I did all the research, and I listened to my doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, nurse, primary care, etc doctors and I am getting my life back. If you are thinking about the surgery and don't know which way to go. read alot of posts, research, look at the videos of surgery, ask ask ask questions and finally... Choose for yourself and dont let the naysayers tell you what you should do or pass their fears on to you and make you doubt yourself. Live, Love and be Happy... Peace........

Today I looked at the scale and it said 196, 90 lbs from the weight in at the surgeons office back in August 2010.  Today I can wear a size 16 down from a size 26 womens. I can walk with some zip in my step. I see the whole world differently. I am happier than I have been in years. I feel much more confident. I am a little disappointed about my streched out skin. I see my face has many more wrinkles than pre-surgery. But I figure, I can hide most of the saggy skin with well draped clothing and weight training. The face stuff, I am going to save up and get laser peel and microderm abrasion hopefully right after Christmas. It will be a pure gift of love to myself. One day maybe some kind of skin removal surgery will be possible. Until then I will relish the new life that I have created with the help of my sleeve. I love my sleeve.

Sometimes I think I am losing too slow... then bam... 3 lbs in one day... woo hoo
Weight training has been a big boost. so far I have lost 7 lbs in 10 days.... i love my sleeve.........

Its kind of funny, ever since the weight loss slowed down I was kind of thinking that I was stalling. I would go a week without losing a pound, then bam... lose a pound each day for two days then nothing for about 3 days then lose another pound. I started writing down each day what I lose and the date. Over the month of Feb.  I have lost 11 lbs... Why do I think its going slow?... My expectations are too high, like I am not doing good unless I lose a pound a day like the first month... boy oh boy... Now I think... When have I ever lost 11 lbs a month? I would have been ecstatic and doing a happy dance before surgery to lose that much in a month... I have to work on my head... I am going to tell myself these three things: I AM DOING GREAT, I AM GETTING STRONGER AND I AM LOOKING BETTER EVERY DAY... Go me!!!.. woo hoo...

This morning I finally reached 70 lb loss.  My weight loss stalled and went to a snails pace for just about 6 weeks and then... boom last week i lost like 7 lbs... awesome.  I decided to work out a little bit harder and cut down my carbs to reccommended amount and up my water to above the reccommended amount. It seems to be working. I do find that i have to fight the urge to graze is I am bored.  I try to drink something instead of snacking. If I do what I am suppose to do and work out a little more each day then I get results... who'd a thunk it... LOL