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This week I had to go stay with my parents because one had surgery on their foot. Even with all the stress of waiting during the surgery and the temptations of sweets and goodies around my family home... I still lost 3.5 lbs in two days.  I am so happy. The funny thing is I did have thoughts about having a bit of fudge or a cookie but I reminded myself of what I have been through and where I am headed. And I was able to control my impulse.  I ate mostly protein and drank plenty of liquids. In the past, this type of situation would have been the perfect reason for me to drop off my diet or exercise plan now I just worked around the obstacles..............                         I Love Love Love my sleeve

This is the first Christmas I have ever had that I went to the family gathering and did not think about eating everything in sight.  I remember last year and every other year...  thinking about how much fudge I can eat or cookies or lasagna... etc... I didnt want to look like a "pig" so I had to limit how much I ate until everyone left or went to bed. Then I could pick pick pick all I wanted til I was stuffed. Then I would feel so uncomfortable I could not go to bed until my food settled enough that I could lay down comfortably. Thank god for my sleeve. I ate only healthy proteins, fruits and veggies.  I didnt crave any of the junk like I did in the past. And as the day winds down I feel good not sick. One day soon I will be healthy and then nothing is gonna stop me from living my life the way I want to.  I love this journey....  Merry Christmas everybody...

One month post-op, starting to feel more normal. Able to sleep laying down in my own bed is wonderful. Still not feeling very hungry.  My tastes have changed. I dont like sweet drinks at all. All my protein shakes do not taste good to me now. I have to cut the sweetness alot with plain soy lowfat milk or plain almond milk.  I am still on mushies and have found that I am able to tolerate everything except regular cottage cheese (lactose intolerant). I am staying away from alot of dairy products they seem to produce excess gas.  I am in love with V8 juice about 5oz per day, yummy...   My sutures appear to be completely healed. I still have the bruise around my belly button but its faded nicely.  My new tummy has its own voice, I now understand the idea of calling it "baby bear" cause it growls loudly its kind of funny also I can feel it rumble. I have never been so aware of the feelings in my body.  I am feeling my energy beginning to return to normal levels.  I measured myself today and I have lost alot of inches so far. Doing great so far...

I was approved for surgery without knowing the date. two weeks before my surgery date I got a letter from the insurance company saying I had prior approval for overnite stay in the hospital for 11/5 and each day would be evaluated for continued stays. The next day I had an appt with my surgeon. The surgeon said yes I was scheduled for Sat. 11/5. So I was a little excited. I went home and made lists of everything I would need. I started asking questions about what I would need in the hospital from OH messages. I got a lot of good advice. Anyway I bought a variety of shake mixes, cleaned the house and everything I could think of to get ready. 1 week before the surgery I went in for my physical and history. I weighed 268. I went to the hospital for labs and pre-admission. Then I was home for a week waiting. Sat. morning dawned a bright and sunny day. And we drove to the hospital, met with the nurses, put the IV in, met with the surgeon, met again with the anesthesiologist and then I was wheeled in to surgery.  I woke in the recovery room very groggy and out of it. They took me to my room. Three days later I came home. Had a few complications like one of my incisions leaked three times. They did pressure bandages. Then my red blood count dropped so I had to have two transfusions. I was feeling ok. Not too much pain. I only did the morphine drip for the first day and half of the next. Since then only tylenol. Sore only in one area, left side where the stomach is. Over all it went very well. When I got home I discovered I could not lay down, too uncomfortable so I slept in a chair for a while. Also my allergies kicked up and gave me the worst tickle in my throat so I had to change some meds to stop it. Still healing I am now 11 days out. I gained 9 lbs in the hospital but lost them the first few days, walk walk walk and sip sip sip. Then this second week lost 9 more pounds. I now weight 256. woo hoo.... progress. Not feeling hungary, usually my stomach grumbles a bit then I figure I need to stop drinking for 30 then eat. I am sticking to the plan very clearly. After 1 week I was cleared for mushies. And I am doing ok with it. I only eat about 6 small bites, 5 min between bites, never get to full feeling. And so far the weight is coming off. 60-70 gr of protein a day. Super low calorie shakes. about 500 cals max per day. So far so good...

I was approved for surgery after 2 weeks of waiting (first time unbelievable) and I am scheduled for two weeks from now.  The only problem seems to be this... I have been thinking and researching Weight loss surgery for more than 5 years and this year... after major back surgery I decided to get serious and do what I have to do to get healthy.  So I went to the seminars, signed the paperwork, went to the support groups, did the psyc evaluation, met the surgeon, lost the weight, and got approved through the insurance.  Suddenly, they give me a date that is 2 weeks away which coincides with my possible return to work. If I am not fit to return to work I may lose my job. I spoke to the WLS nurse practitioner yesterday and she said that she would release me to work within 2 days if I need to because my job is all office work stuff.  So I am in the middle of a dilemma now.
1.     Is it providence that I was approved (and practically sailed through this whole process) should I have the surgery now or  2.   should I wait til I am back at work for a few months and ensure the job thing.  
Also, I look at my family history and I can see how my morbidly obese mother struggles to get around and what kind of life she is leading.  I have tried to do it the "old fashioned" way. I lost over a 100lbs by pure grit and control and then I hurt my back.  85lbs creeped back on in the last 3 years.  When I finally had to have emergency back surgery I was completely helpless and could have lost the use of my bladder, bowels and legs. Its been almost a year now and I am feeling much stronger.  I have nerve damage and such but its so much better than before.

So far I have been keeping my food journal for 2 months, Im doing ok with the eating slow, chewing 20 to 30 times, and setting down the fork for 2 minutes between bites. Having troubles not drinking before and after meals. I have always drank before, during and after meals. Working on remembering this.
I have already done the psyc evaluation, been to several support group meetings, found a primary care physician and had all my medical records sent to her. Last week I had several blood tests run. Tomorrow I have my first appt with the surgeon and then I am going for a full physical with an ekg from my primary care physician. According to my primary care physician I need to go on a physician monitored diet for at least 3 months before surgery. So we will see how it goes. Now I need to actually lose the 5% of my body weight. Struggling with this. I go to the gym everyday and work out for about 1 hour. Sometimes I work very hard but other days I have back pain (herniated disc surgery last Nov.) On those days I walk and just swim a little. I just purchased a stationary bike to use at home to get more workout time. So I feel like I am ready for another step. It seems like such a long road. But I know that it will be worth is. Everyperson I have spoken to since I started say that they are happy with their decision to do this surgery and feel so much better than before.

Today I decided that I needed to get control... I have let myself slip into the abyss... Starting today at 271lbs.... here we go