greensleeved

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This has come up so fast. I sort of forgot that I was leaving on the 9th. All hell broke loose here today - the day before I fly to a foreign country to have surgery. The AC is out in BOTH our cars, and my house sitter never got back to me. I'm so frustrated with her. She's been doing this for us for years and is always so prompt and does a great job. And we even gave her a raise last time!

So I had to take both my dogs - a pit bull mix and a 140 lb Newfoundland - to the vet by myself because my husband was taking our daughter to stay with her grandparents' house. They are up to date on their shots except for kennel cough so they needed that before they could go to the kennel. After driving around half the afternoon in a car with no AC in July in South Carolina I am beyond annoyed. I was already really feeling the nerves and this is not helping  And I have to get up at 4:30 am to go to the airport.

Can't wait. The pre-op diet has gotten so much easier. It's almost a no brainer now. Almost!  I'm down 12-15 lbs (depending on where I start counting from) and I am so ready! I'm even looking forward to the trip to Mexico (love to travel). Even if surgery is waiting for me at the end of the journey. Just a little worried about the trip back but I'll make it. Wonderful husband will be with me.

Also a bit concerned the airline will split up our seats even though we bought them together (I hate that). And fitting in a seat next to a stranger is absolute hell. I'm so excited to think of a time when maybe that won't be an issue. When I was younger my dad lived in Italy and I used to fly to see him every summer and the seat room was never an issue. I'm taking a group of my students to London in summer 2015 and I HAVE to be able to travel easily by then. Good motivation.

I've been keeping track of people having their surgeries soon (MsShawna, nursejackie, tdonnelley, kkm727 and others). Good luck this week ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes! I can't decide if this is coming up so fast or if it seems so far away, lol! The pre-op diet is killing me, and even though I wish I didn't have to do it for so long (2 weeks, 1 down) it is giving me a sense of confidence. I have been losing weight fast, and doing it by myself! It gives me hope and confidence that I will be able to do what I am supposed to do after surgery. I know it has only been one week, but I have almost NEVER been able to stick to any plan for more than a few days. Some I gave up on by the first night. I have never just been a yo yo dieter, just a steady climb upwards for the past 15 yrs. If I can drink nothing but liquid for a week I can do it for another month!

Starting to freak out a bit over the actual surgery (I have a needle phobia and pass out easily). Gave myself a motto (NO FEAR! - like the surfers) and a soundtrack (inspirational stuff - and heavy metal) to pump myself up!

Is it really possible that I've lost EIGHT lbs in four days on the pre-op liquid diet! That seems INSANE. I don't even want to change my ticker in case it isn't real. 

I didn't realize people were responding to my blog posts b/c I had the "approval" filter on. I just saw all those and I am completely overwhelmed. Thank you all so much for making me feel less alone in this journey.

So the second day of pre op diet is better. The evenings are the hardest though so we'll see. Still very tired and lethargic. I have realized that I need to stop shopping! I have enough liquids in this house to last for months!

I DID IT! I am about to gnaw my way through my pillow or hit someone in the face, but I survived my first day of liquid diet. I knew it would be hard, but this was really tough. I am obsessed over food. Getting over that is going to take time.

I almost quit 1,000 times today, imagined myself chowing down on a pimento cheese sandwich and some sausage (stupidly purchased by me in a pre-op feeding frenzy, forgetting they would still be in my fridge when I went liquid )  But I made it through the whole day. I get it when people say "Just one day at a time." I made it through today, and I will make it through tomorrow.

Started liquid diet today at 270.8 (up from 267 b/c of pre-diet binging).  Hoping to lose 8-10 lbs these two weeks, but no matter what happens before surgery I know I will lose afterwards. Freaking out a little bit about how LONG this liquid phase is, but I CAN DO IT!

Two days until I start my liquid diet and I got in a big fight with my husband. The same old junk we have argued about for years. This is the LAST thing I need as I start this crazy journey. I have been using food as a way to fill the emptiness of a less than perfect marriage. Once food isn't there anymore I am afraid of the consequences to my relationship. I know that dealing with the emotional issues BEHIND your food issues is one crucial way to be successful. I just hope my marriage isn't a casualty of my getting healthy. The more I can't rely on food for numbness or comfort, the more this stuff is going to surface. Depressing.

I was so happy to see MsShawna's message to me just checking in as we get ready for our surgeries around the same time. That was SO helpful and sweet that I am about to choke up just sitting here. I have got to do this- reach out to other people. It makes such a huge difference. Start my two week (TWO WEEK - insane) liquid diet on Thursday and I can't even imagine getting through one day much less 14. I will probably be on OH every day all day till July 10th. Scared and excited!