Head Shrinked and Husband Troubles - January 11th, 2011

Feb 22, 2011

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Today I’m meeting with the psychologist. I think I’m more nervous about meeting with him than with the actual surgery. Let’s be honest, anyone who weighs 273 pounds is going to have SOME issues. I’ve never visited a shrink and there are some skeletons that I’d like left in my closet.

Without getting too personal about what was discussed (this IS the internet after all), we went through why I thought I had gained so much weight and did I have a good support system in place. Yes to the first question. No, to the second. Well, not NO exactly… I just hadn’t told anyone about my plans yet. And I mean NO ONE.

So, according to the shrink, my assignment was to go home and tell my husband my plans. Now, don’t get me wrong, I WAS going to tell him eventually, and yes I was going to tell him before the surgery. But I wanted to wait until I had insurance approval. I KNEW that my husband was going to be against the surgery.

So, I told him of my plans. And he was against them, as expected. Actually, “against my plans” is probably not strong enough of a description. He was FURIOUS that I was even considering the idea. And I mean FURIOUS!!! He is 100% totally and completely against it. He thinks that I am “taking the lazy way out.” That I’ve never really tried to lose weight, not really; that I’m a quitter and I could do this on my own without risking my life on a surgery that he equated with a boob-job. He threw everything negative thing at me that he could possibly think of – some valid reasons, like risking my life while I have 2 little baby girls at home, and some just plain MEAN things – to get me to change my mind. So, it ended up being a BIG fight.

Now, I know what you are thinking – WHY on EARTH would this woman’s husband be against getting a hot wife? Doesn’t he want her healthy? Doesn’t her want her to live a long time? The answer is yes. My husband loves me deeply and he’s terrified that I’m going to die on an operating table. Or that I’m going to have complications and be disabled for the rest of my life. All valid concerns, but he doesn’t express them properly, which lead to the fight. But my husband also doesn’t fully understand what it is like to be fat. He’s never been fat. In fact, he’s skinny. He is 6’8” and 210 pounds. He got the skinny gene just like his mother did. I didn’t. He thinks that if I eat less and exercise more that I’ll be skinny. And he IS partially correct. If I ate right and exercise more, I WOULD be skinny. For a time, until the diet ended and I went back to my old ways and ended up gaining more weight than I had lost. Like what happened when I did HMR. I started HMR at 242 pounds (my highest EVER until now), I dropped down to 195 pounds before life got in the way and I thought that I could do the diet on my own… and now I am sitting here 2 years later weighing in at 273 pounds.

So I’m at an impasse with my husband. He absolutely does not want this to happen, and I do. Ultimately it’s my body. I have to carry the weight around and deal with the health and social consequences. So ultimately it’s my decision. And I know I need surgery.

Now, I have to call the shrink and come up with a plan for another support system other than my husband. Wish me luck!

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