10 Tips For Healthy DatingFebruary 28, 2013
10 Tips For Healthy Dating
Dating. Does the mere word “dating” automatically bring up feelings, memories or images for you? For some, the word “dating” may bring an automatic smile to their face, raise goose bumps on their arms, and send a thrilling chill down their spine. For others, just the mention of the word “dating” might elicit the “fight or flight” response!
For some post-bariatric patients, dating is a new world, full of potentially wonderful adventures. The images of getting dressed up, going to dinner or a movie, going bowling, playing trivia, singing karaoke, or burning holes in the dance floor bring stars to their eyes. Even better are the thoughts of that luscious first kiss somewhere along the dating timeline and the visions of snuggling up together on the couch watching a movie on TV.
If you don’t have a lot of experience in the dating world, it can be a terrifying place to venture. Or maybe you have had negative dating experiences and don’t want to relive those nightmares. You have put a lot of time and effort into establishing your new healthy lifestyle. If you are new to the dating world or are ready to rejoin it, you want your dating experiences to be healthy, as well. So what exactly does “healthy dating” look like? A few fun OH members shared some of their “Dating Tips” with us.
Tiffany wisely suggested:
1) Be yourself.
2) Don’t over share all of your past transgressions, or drama; he or she is with you in the present.
3) Leave your baggage at home and enjoy yourself.
4) Don’t play 200 questions; you aren’t interviewing he or she for a job. It’s a date, not a full-time position just yet. You’ll figure out if your date is going to be in for the long haul without grilling them man about their;lvco-=peeedfaQ ‘5 year plan’ on the first few dates.
5) Don’t settle for anything less than everything you deserve, want and need.
6) Remember that confidence is key! Accentuate your positive features. Everyone wants to be around someone that is confident, not overbearing or conceited. Just let the best of you shine through and don’t worry about the flaws. Everyone has those, and remember to HAVE FUN!”
Courtney from St. Louis wisely recommended:
7) Do not drink too much! It’s easy to have one too many when you’re out on a first date because you’re nervous and then you end up making a fool out of yourself. Pace yourself. If you are going to drink, just have one.”
Finally, Cherries In The Snow added fun and humor when she shared:
8) If a man has a home devoted entirely to any of the following - run like the wind: NASCAR, Star Wars, Metallica, or Dale Ernhardt.”
Two additional tips for healthy dating:
9) Plan your date (to include offering to split the bill) ahead of time, meeting in a public place on your first date.
10) Maintain firm boundaries around physical touch, waiting until you have gotten to know the person after seeing them several times before venturing into any sort of physical relationship.
So, go on and get out there and do some dating if you’re ready. And follow the above suggestions to make that dating experience a healthy one!
*This article was previously published in OH Magazine, an Obesityhelp.com publication.
ABOUT THE AUTHORConnie Stapleton, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and owner of Mind Body Health Services. She is the author of Eat It Up - The Complete Mind/Body/Spirit Guide to a Full Life After Weight Loss Surgery.
Read more articles by Connie Stapleton!