Almost 8 months post-op (pic) & the politics of appearance
you look fabulous!! WTG! The media does put way too much stress on what the "ideal" woman should look like...we need to let them know that as long as someone is healthy, it shouldn't matter if they aren't a size 0!
Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what happened and continue LIVING
Wow !!! you look great !!! congrats.
I agree with the stereotypical reactions one gets when it comes to size. The world sees being obese as a weakness and more obese one is, the less they are part of the norm.
As a male, I find the difference is most men have a different picture of themselves. Their success in life is based on their acceptance among their peers. Men are less likely to exclude based on size among their peers. It is because we judge each other on who we are, not what we are. Do we have a nice house, trophy wife, cool toys?..etc etc.
The danger of this thinking, is less men consider themselves overweight until it is either too late or severe enough that the choice is life or death.
I have friends who are in the 50 plus bmi range, but don't see a problem because they are accepted as "The Big Guy" and all is well until the first heart attack.
Walk into a room of women as a women or a man and the first comments are how great you look, or silence because maybe you put on a few pounds.
Same situation with men and the first comments is how is work, still driving that truck, how's the wife and kids? If anything to do with my appearance is noted it is usually with a nickname....Hey skinny, where's the rest of you?
The beautiful thing is, we have seen both sides of the coin. We can emphasize with those that struggle with their weight. We can surround ourselves with people that truly care. Life long skinnys struggle with this sort of thinking. They surround themselves with people of likeness, have more acquaintances than true friends and worry more about being talked about when they leave the room.
I agree with the stereotypical reactions one gets when it comes to size. The world sees being obese as a weakness and more obese one is, the less they are part of the norm.
As a male, I find the difference is most men have a different picture of themselves. Their success in life is based on their acceptance among their peers. Men are less likely to exclude based on size among their peers. It is because we judge each other on who we are, not what we are. Do we have a nice house, trophy wife, cool toys?..etc etc.
The danger of this thinking, is less men consider themselves overweight until it is either too late or severe enough that the choice is life or death.
I have friends who are in the 50 plus bmi range, but don't see a problem because they are accepted as "The Big Guy" and all is well until the first heart attack.
Walk into a room of women as a women or a man and the first comments are how great you look, or silence because maybe you put on a few pounds.
Same situation with men and the first comments is how is work, still driving that truck, how's the wife and kids? If anything to do with my appearance is noted it is usually with a nickname....Hey skinny, where's the rest of you?
The beautiful thing is, we have seen both sides of the coin. We can emphasize with those that struggle with their weight. We can surround ourselves with people that truly care. Life long skinnys struggle with this sort of thinking. They surround themselves with people of likeness, have more acquaintances than true friends and worry more about being talked about when they leave the room.
Orientation Jan 8 2012 Group Nut/Surgery Class Jan 23 2012
1st Surgeon Meeting Feb 2 2012 Dr. Glazer Feb 9 2012
Social Worker Feb 23 2012 Psych/Nut/Nurse Mar 8 2012
2nd Surgeon Meeting Mar 28 2012 Optifast April 18 2012
RNY Surgery May 9 2012
Now if I could only grow an ass.....
1st Surgeon Meeting Feb 2 2012 Dr. Glazer Feb 9 2012
Social Worker Feb 23 2012 Psych/Nut/Nurse Mar 8 2012
2nd Surgeon Meeting Mar 28 2012 Optifast April 18 2012
RNY Surgery May 9 2012
Now if I could only grow an ass..... 
CanDoItFour
on 9/10/12 8:42 am - Canada
on 9/10/12 8:42 am - Canada
Oh Sandy - you are so right.
I walk into a room, a shop, a meeting as a normal sized person and I feel a different kind of welcome and acceptance (or is that imagined?), and - horrors - I like it. I'm the woman who partly put weight on / allowed the weight to accumulate because I wanted to be accepted for what was in my brain and heart, and I didn't want the attention anyway!
How can I enjoy being more normal sized now after being so defiantly obese for so long?
Real head trip stuff.
But I've decided to allow myself to enjoy this little ride. We've all paid a heavy price for our size, health wise and probably emotionally too. Complications may rear their heads as we go along. The work to get here was very real, and "work brings rewards" is an reasonable relationship. The inside is the same. OK, maybe a little happier, haha .......... Go for your little slice of heaven! And you look beautiful.
Claire
I walk into a room, a shop, a meeting as a normal sized person and I feel a different kind of welcome and acceptance (or is that imagined?), and - horrors - I like it. I'm the woman who partly put weight on / allowed the weight to accumulate because I wanted to be accepted for what was in my brain and heart, and I didn't want the attention anyway!
How can I enjoy being more normal sized now after being so defiantly obese for so long?
Real head trip stuff.
But I've decided to allow myself to enjoy this little ride. We've all paid a heavy price for our size, health wise and probably emotionally too. Complications may rear their heads as we go along. The work to get here was very real, and "work brings rewards" is an reasonable relationship. The inside is the same. OK, maybe a little happier, haha .......... Go for your little slice of heaven! And you look beautiful.
Claire
Congrats on weight loss and feeling healthier and being more active.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
you look awesome. 
Wow Sandy you look amazing. Glad to hear that you are feeling healthier and able to walk without pain. That's the best gift in my opinion that you can get from this surgery.
I have to agree that it does appear that people treat us differently when we are "normal" sized, but I also wonder if it's not linked to our own increase in self-confidence in our new appearance.
I have to agree that it does appear that people treat us differently when we are "normal" sized, but I also wonder if it's not linked to our own increase in self-confidence in our new appearance.
Blu-Diva 
Fellow feminist here. :)
I agree very much with your post, and I also am balancing my wish to be more healthy and have my mobility restored with my conviction that I should not be discriminated against because I'm fat (and in particular, a fat woman). It's going to be confusing when I lose a lot of weight and start experiencing the privilege that comes with a smaller body size, and yet still want to advocate for the acceptance and non-discrimination of people with larger bodies.
Not to mention all the individual head stuff I'm going to have to deal with - not being able to gauge my own size as I get smaller; feeling resentful when I am treated differently (even better) when I'm smaller, because it will tick me off that those same people wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was fat.
Lookism, sizism, fatphobia - all things that I will always be acutely aware of, even once I'm no longer obese myself.
Jason, great post. I agree that men experience being large in different ways than women. I know men still experience discrimination when they're fat, but not in the same gendered ways that women do, because women are expected to look "feminine" which size-wise means thin, small, and take up less space.
I agree very much with your post, and I also am balancing my wish to be more healthy and have my mobility restored with my conviction that I should not be discriminated against because I'm fat (and in particular, a fat woman). It's going to be confusing when I lose a lot of weight and start experiencing the privilege that comes with a smaller body size, and yet still want to advocate for the acceptance and non-discrimination of people with larger bodies.
Not to mention all the individual head stuff I'm going to have to deal with - not being able to gauge my own size as I get smaller; feeling resentful when I am treated differently (even better) when I'm smaller, because it will tick me off that those same people wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was fat.
Lookism, sizism, fatphobia - all things that I will always be acutely aware of, even once I'm no longer obese myself.
Jason, great post. I agree that men experience being large in different ways than women. I know men still experience discrimination when they're fat, but not in the same gendered ways that women do, because women are expected to look "feminine" which size-wise means thin, small, and take up less space.
Referral to registry: Oct 21, 2011 Orientation (TWH): Feb 22, 2012 Surgery: Nov 7, 2012
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