Any cat I tried to rescue and find a home for ended up being my cat for years. My husband told me there were cat paw prints on his truck. I asked him what he wanted to do about it and he said, "buy catfood". He fed it on the deck for months and it would not come close enough to pet it.

It was a cold winter day and in the middle of a blizzard. The cat came to the back door crying loudly. It had been attacked by sometime and had numerous open wounds. I let it inside, gave it food and water and a box with a space heater close by. I did not expect it to make it through the night. It was still alive in the morning and we took him to a vet. They patched him up and neutered him. The bill was over $1000. He was no longer afraid but wanted to attack my little female cat. I had to use a lot of Feliway. There were several more vet trips and all $1000 ones as he had a lot of injuries.

I accepted him as my pet. He lived about eight years, then got cancer and I ended up having to put him to sleep. He was a cute pet who loved to ride in the car and to go for walks.

Good mornin y'all.

Kind of a busy day ahead. Thrift stores and my mom wants to try and find a file cabinet. Also a certain dollar store.

I'm having patches of plaque psoriasis come on on each elbow. I'm stuck wearing shorter sleeved shirts for a while it seems. It's very painful. I haven't had any in years! Guess it's the stress.

we are leaning towards trying to keep momma. It'll all depend on what happens when she is healed up totally and how they all get along. I would suck big time at rescue. None of the rescues even returned calls or messages. Super disappointed in them honestly. We don't want to and won't put her back on the streets. She is to lovable for it. Her eyes are almost healed and her belly looks really good and is healing well. She's also really attached to me too.

QOTD: I don't know that I would use it honestly. I think our future is cloudy. The hate needs to stop on all sides of the issues. Until then things will be in turmoil. The past has a lot of bad things too.

B: egg, cheese, sausage and coffee

L: we might be going out to eat with my aunt

D: ????

I don't even know where to start. Writing this feels heavy, but maybe I need to put these words out there to stop carrying them all inside.

Not long ago, I was proud of myself. I had lost weight. I was getting closer to my dream of qualifying for weight loss surgery. For the first time in years, I actually believed change was possible.

But then life happened. Stress, emotions, and old habits crept back in. One by one, the pounds I worked so hard to lose came back. Not only did I gain back what I lost, but I ended up heavier than when I started. That's the part that hurts the most--I feel like I completely erased my progress.

Right now, I feel like a failure. Like I let myself down. Like I lost sight of my goal and let food and emotions take control again. And it's so easy to beat myself up for it, to look at the scale and think, What's the point?

But deep down, I know the truth: this is not the end. Falling off track doesn't mean I can't climb back on. Struggling doesn't mean I don't deserve help. Gaining weight doesn't erase the hard work I did before--it just means I have to fight harder for myself again.

Weight loss surgery has always been my goal. I still want it. I still need it. And even though it feels like I've failed, I'm reminding myself that failure isn't final unless I stop trying.

I'm writing this as a way of holding myself accountable and being real with anyone else who has been here. If you've lost, gained, and lost sight of your goals too--you're not alone. We can start over as many times as it takes.

Tomorrow, I will try again. And maybe that's enough for today.

Good morning everyone.

not a lot happening today. My mom needs something from Walmart. Other than that I am hoping to get some stuff around the house done.

no luck in finding momma a home yet. Rescues don't answer emails apparently...so I'll be calling some today. I hate using the phone.

i was 20 when that happened. I remember seeing the second plane hit live in tv. I couldn't believe it and said they were just replaying what had happened. It quickly became apparent that it was a second plane. I think our country had/haa a collective case of PTSD.

as for Charlie Kirk. Both sides need to wake up and grow up. We don't know yet who did this or why so I will not label either party for it. Violence like this is undeniably unacceptable. Do I think the dude was a bad guy? Yeah but no one...no one deserves this. That's something his kids and wife will have to live with for the rest of their lifetime. I do hold blame for rhetoric speakers and those that stoke fear. Remember the politicians in Minnesota there was not much outrage then...it has become acceptable to be ok with violence. Like those celebrating yesterday's events. It is all unacceptable. It breaks my spirit and soul to see people killed over such stupid things. In the end we are all humans. We love or love someone. There is no respect out there for anyone, anywhere for some people. I am scared not only for the foundation of our country...the very fabric of it but for the entire world. I hope people wake up but the nastiness like Jesse waters said and the folks saying he got what he deserved...well it's never going to end I fear.

food is off kilter today. Had a chimichanga for breakfast.

I guess I was always around people that I appreciated and that appreciated me. It was always easy for me to laugh off people like the scale attendant. But I was never the person who had to clean up after them. I do have some memories of planned arguements but it was social not at work. My favorite thing to say at the top of my voice, "Don't make me raise my voice". It got their attention and the issue would be resolved.

The pool and hot tub always fixed most tension and I did that several times a week. Enjoy and dont let other people live rentfree in your head. Have your husband meet you at the Y and go out for a nice meal after exercise.