Sorry for my long absence: leak update

hello everyone! I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted. I've been too depressed to do much of anything. For those of you who don't know my story:here is a breakdown. 12/20/10- had original VSG. 1/17/10-leak discovered, emergency surgery to place 2 jp drains and a jtube for tube feedings. I was septic and ended up in the hospital over a week. The dr said that the type of leak I have at the esophageal junction cannot be operated on to repair it, so we just needed to wait till it healed itself. 6 weeks later he felt it should be healed so I was started on clears for a week. Progressed to fuels for another week, then pureed for another week, then I finally starting eating regular food. That lasted for about 2 weeks before I got sick again. Ended up back in the hospital, where they discovered my leak had opened up again. This time he tried to place stents, but it was unsuccessful. Instead, they put clips and fibrin glue on it (which before surgery he told me were not effective) and I have another jp drain and jtube now. I'm back on the wait for it to heal itself road again. This coming Monday, I am having another ct scan to check it's progress. He said that this time around he is waiting for a 100% clear scan before starting me on clears, and that even when I am eating, he is leaving the jtube in for a few months. So, I'm back to where I was in january, I have lost both of my jobs, and I've lost most of my hope. I'm afraid that even if it does heal again, it will just open again. I have a 22 month old that I can't take care of alone due to lifting restrictions, and a husband that has to work more and do all the kid duties to support us, and feel more useless than a pile of crap. Again, I'm sorry for not being on here in so long, I just feel bad putting all this sad crap on here.

 My heart breaks for you reading this. 

I cannot imagine how hard this has been for you. You are NOT a "useless pile of crap". You did something to better your life and your families lives and it has been more challenging than you thought initially. 

Let me know if you would like a chat or text message buddy... I would be more than happy to text with you. I am a good listener too! ;-) 

Agreed with the poster above - you are absolutely NOT useless or a pile of crap. You are a someone who is experiencing major health problems. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, please know you've been in my thoughts and prayers for the last few months and will continue to be.

Feel free to vent whenever you need to!

So sorry to hear about all of your troubles....I'm sending good thoughts your way !!!

A leak is something that I'm so afraid of..What are the symptoms? How did you feel?
I think eveytime Im eating that I have to be careful....

Please don't worry about posting on here - that's what we are here for. We've all been worried sick about you. I know you are not where you want to be but you are NOT useless. You have many praying for you. It's been said 100 times, but I am so sorry you are going through all this. I know it's hard to believe it's part of the road to a better life - but it HAS to be. Please don't lose hope! We are all pulling for you big-time!!!

I am so very sorry that you are having these troubles. I think you should come in here as often as you need to for support....we're all here to listen when you need to vent.  I cannot imagine the emotions you must be going through right now.  Try and keep positive..there has to be light at the end of the tunnel!

Been thinking about you, too! I hope everything starts getting better... I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you!! I'll keep watching for your posts. I think we're all worried about you! Lots of positive vibes and happy thoughts being sent your direction.
Jeni

Oh darlin there are a few leaks on the board and I hope you are in contact with them.  They SURVIVED and are THRIVING.  Not to say the word "just" but it has JUST been a few months BUT in the long run that will be a drop in the bucket.

God bless you and keep you during this time.  A year from now I pray it will be a far away memory.

Ms Shell

BIG HUGS!!!!!...leaks are rare but when it happens to you, it is aweful....I hope you have become friends with novascotioa dawn...she had a very difficult time recovering from a leak and can offer you the best advice/info out of anyone I know.

Please do not hessitate to be a part of the group and to be honnest about what you are going through and how you feel...First and formeost you deserve the support and secondly pre ops and new ops need to know the risks even if they are rare...your voice is important!!!!

All this IS TEMPORARY!! it ain't forever!  Yer doc tried some things...they didn't work. He learned some things about this sit. With extra time since that last jp drain...I bet you'll get it repaired this time...3rd times the charm!! Chin up!

I think ya need to see a counselor! a professional. Like the leak, ya cannot fix THIS yerself!  Understandably yer depressed, but what yer sayin to yerself only digs ya deeper in despair.

We offered once to take up a PayPal collection.. alls we need is yer email address!
(PM me if ya wanna!) It can only help with some of the burden ya may be feelin!

I think yer one of the types of people that find it hard to ask for help especially when ya need it most. Ya think its a sign of weakness!  Yer young...you'll find this kind of thought process doesn't always work and it sure don't mean yer weak.

..WE'RE TEAM VSG HERE and when a comrade is hurtin we all are hurtin! 


Hang in there Cherub!