What should I do?

I've been on disability for a few years now and these past few years have gained so much weight it's really becoming dangerous. I guess I'm just scared. I know I need this surgery but it scares the crap out of me. My family doesn't seem to understand it nor do I think they can. I want this surgery but I stop myself from taking the first step in getting this started up. I don't like asking for help and recently I wanted to lose the weight myself to prove something to myself... but I've noticed I've become eating for comfort I think its because of the stress of this and other stuff...I've never been a comfort eater I just got so lazy after I got on disability. I don't know what to do anymore.

Its hard, very hard. I tried doing it on my own but had over 150 pds to lose. I had the gastric bypass in 2009 and lost 153 pds. It was the best decision I EVER made. Of course I had my bad days, hurt , had to adjust to new eating, new way of life. But, I would do it again tomorrow. I still find days I snack or eat the wrong things, but nothing like I used to do. I told myself one day, Im going to die if I keep eating and making the choices I was, so I got on this website, and it was my motivation to do something about it. We are all here for you. :)

Only you can decide when/if you're ready for surgery. What may help is to poke around this site and learn what you can about each of the four (yep 4) different types of surgeries there are available.  Call a WLS center of Excellence in your community and sign up for one of there free seminars.  There is hardly ever and obligation, and many times the surgeon himself runs the classess so it's a great opportunity to learn.  Look at the good, the bad and the ugly, because believe there are plenty of each.

I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't had this surgery.  It literally gave me my life back.  I've had a couple of struggles and even a re-gain but it's nothing like it would have been for me if I'd stayed at 347lbs and a tight size 28 dress.

You know the saying goes that when we hurt badly enough, we change.   Whether that means doing it on your own or with surgical assistance is totally up to you.  I had lost and gained 100lbs, then lost  60lbs, but no matter what I did I always gained it back.  While I'm working on the last 10lbs of my re-gain, it's been nothing like "dieting" was before the surgery.  I have a plan now, and when I follow it I do wonderfully.  When I make bad choices, bad things happen.  My regain was close to 40lbs (I originally lost 170lbs) and I have 10 pounds left to get off to be back where my doc and I think I should be.

Research, research, research.  Then choose the surgery that is best FOR YOU.  There is no "best" surgery for everyone - we all lead different lives, have different health problems, support, personalities, etc.   Keep asking questions.  Read the Forums.  Soon enough your path will likely become clear to you, whatever it may be.

best of luck to you on  your journey

I've been on disability for four years.  You say you want this surgery - so it's up to you to make it happen, no one else.  My SO was against it at firt, and still is.  But I have told him I'm going to do it no matter what he says.  After sharing more information with him about the medical testing, the procedure, etc. he has said although he doesn't like it, he will support my decision and do what he can to help me.

Maybe once your family sees you are determined to proceed, and learns more about the program, they will become more supportive.

It's your body - you make the choices.

Good luck.

What, exactly, scares the crap out of you? I ask because fear kept me from getting WLS for several years. As it turned out, this was actually a GOOD thing, for me---because had I had WLS when I first started looking into it--and got the crap scared out of me---I would have had the WRONG form of WLS for me.

As Amy pointed out, there are FOUR basic types of WLS, and, while there are certainly scary things about each of them, they're not the SAME scary things. The scary things about Procedure A may not exist with Procedure B, C, or D, so it's vital to understand each of them.

If you'll tell us your fears, maybe we can help you become less afraid. For me, pretty much everything about the RNY/gastric bypass scared me. So much so that when I first researched it, I decided I'd rather stay fat.

Alas, I didn't just STAY fat---I kept getting fatter and fatter. A few years later, I reached the point that staying alive, even if it meant living with the RNY, was better than being dead. I started researching again.

Then I learned about the Duodenal Switch, and all my fears went away. The DS offered me so very much---a fully-functional stomach with almost NO chance of dumping, almost no risk of developing reactive hypoglycemia, the very BEST chance of avoiding the diabetes that runs in both sides of my family, an aggressive treatment (and highly successful, I must say!) for the high cholesterol I already had, the ability to still take NSAIDs for my arthritis, very few food intolerances, the continued ability to drink with meals, a high-protein, HIGH-FAT post-op 'diet', and the very BEST long-term, maintained weight-loss stats, especially for people like me who had a BMI greater than 50.

No WLS is magic, or without consequences. The reason the DS is such a successful form of WLs is because, unlike any other form of WLS, it gives permanent malabsorption of calories. It also causes permanent malabsorption of certain vitamins and minerals, just like the RNY/gastric bypass does, do it's very important to commit to taking some pills anywhere from 2 to 4 times a day. (Just how many times and how many pills depends on your individual lab results---just like with the RNY.)

For ME, it's a lot easier to toss back a few pills 4 times a day than it is to resist tasty food, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I'm 10+ years post-op, and pretty effortlessly maintaining a loss of 170+ pounds, all while eating about 2500-3000 tasty high-protein, high-fat, moderate-carb calories every day.

Knowledge IS power. The more you educate yourself about WLS, the more powerful you become.

Talk with your primary care provider and let him/her know you are ready to tackle this excess weight issue. If you are thinking surgery... find a bariatric surgeon in your area many of then offer monthly consultation meetings where they will share info about all the different types of weight loss surgery and you and your family can attend and ask Q's.

The Obesity Action Coalition has a great brochure about the basics of all currently accepted weight loss methods (behavioral, pharmaceutical, weight-loss programs, surgical) you might want to read through too.

http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/brochures -and-guides/understanding-your-weight-loss-options-brochure

I am a 7-1/2 year post-op RNYer and I've blogged those 7+ years (link below) you are welcome to read my story, see a slice of what life is like for one post-op after WLS.

I'd suggest working on the eating for comfort issues... even if you decide to proceed with surgery those feelings will not go away and you'll need to find a healthier way to cope with those emotions.

Best wishes in your research and in getting healthier,

~Michelle "Shelly"

Weight loss surgery scared the heck out of me, too, because it is major surgery and would rearrange my insides so much. But my health was getting worse so I decided to go for it, because I had so much trouble losing on my own. Now I would do it again in a heartbeat because my health is much, much better.

I always say this to someone starting out their research:

There is no perfect weight loss surgery, they all have varying benefits and costs as well as risk factors for complications. They also have varying levels of body invasiveness from the lapband which is the least invasive but has a high rate of complications ranging through to the DS, which is the most invasive in terms of innards rearranging, requires the highest skill levels from the surgeon, and carries the highest risk factors for complications. There are also different levels of frequency performed for the surgeries, with the RNY still performed the most frequently, the sleeve catching up, the lapband losing popularity, and the DS performed the least frequently by a wide margin.

A link with pros and cons of weight loss surgery: http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/is-weight-loss-surgery-right -for-you

 A useful link for comparison of types of surgery: http://www.thinnertimes.com/weight-loss-surgery/wls-basics/w eight-loss-surgery-comparison.html

Another one: https://www.lapsf.com/weight-loss-surgeries.html

All of the surgeries require a high level of personal responsibility with lifelong major lifestyle and ha*****ange re: diet and exercise and vitamins and minerals. They aren't a magic fix. They don't operate on our brains or emotions or cravings. Eating around them with weight regain is possible for all of them if habits aren't changed no matter what kind of surgery a person goes for, both for the first year or so, and especially when a person hits maintenance and you are pretty much on your own.

It's great to ask here regarding people's experience and opinions, but they are only that- personal, amateur, stranger on the internet experiences and opinions shared with you, another stranger on the internet. We can't know your situation and we aren't professionals.

Also people here will often tend to strongly promote the kind of surgery they themselves have had, which may not fit you and your particular requirements. Both of my Bariatric surgeons will only perform three of the types of weight loss surgeries by choice, not because of skill level.

Please make your choice of weight loss surgery that will work best for you in consultation with your Bariatric surgeon because he/she will know your medical history and unique needs based on considerations of weight, comorbidities, reliability and compliance with lifestyle modifications and follow-up.

Oh, and research a lot, here- look under the "MORE" tab on the top of the page and check out the different forums, internet, and info sessions with Bariatric surgeons.

Good luck in making your choice about surgery or not!