Surely I'm not the only one struggling when it comes to mental & emotional health and...

Cicerogirl, The PhD
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on 3/12/15 1:05 pm - OH

I'm not sure how long you have been reading posts here, but there are lots of posts about the mental and emotional struggles post-op.

I think the mental health forum isn't used much because people frequently post about their general struggles on the regular surgery forums AND because most people don't want to post personal details about childhood traumas, adult traumas, insecurities, or other intimate and sensitive things that contribute to their weight struggles on the Internet, even in a forum with less traffic.

In general, people who address the psychological, emotional, and behavioral issues that contributed to their obesity do MUCH better long term than those who don't.  Many people find that the food demons eventually return (some much more quickly than others) and that the old struggles are just as hard as they were pre-op.

The are a number of ways that you can find a counselor or psychologist who can help you: your insurance company can provide just a general list of people that are covered under your plan; your PCP may be able to recommend someone; your bariatric surgeon may be able to recommend someone; the person who did your psych eval may be available or can recommend someone; there may be a state or local counseling association that might offer some suggestions; you can turn to the Internet where the American Psychological Association, the EMDR Insititute (if you have a history of trauma that contributed to your weight issues) or other professioanl organizations have referral lists; places like Psychology Today's "Find a Therapist" have people who pay to be listed there (I like their service because it allows you to read what a counselor has written about themselves, how they work, and what populations/issues they specialize in working with.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

cathey9338
on 3/16/15 1:35 pm - Woodbridge, VA
RNY on 06/19/12 with

Thank you. ;-)

        
(deactivated member)
on 3/12/15 10:37 pm

It is a struggle daily. I try to eat the best way that I can. Sometimes temptation loses and sometimes it wins. I think also when we have the surgery the weight comes off pretty easily then after the honeymoon period we start to lose slower. 

Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first and it is not easy. I go to therapy every three weeks and it does help. The mental part of the surgery is the hard part. We have been taught so many bad habits over the years it can be hard to change but we must. 

Sometimes we beat ourselves up over what we have done to ourselves having the surgery thinking how did I let myself get to this point.  When I start doing that I have to look at the positive things I have done with my life. 

I would start using my fitness pal. Clean out your cabinets and start working towards your goal of losing. You know you have done it before and you can do it again. I also when I get hungry I always drink something before I eat. One of the vets on here posted that one time and it stops me from going and eating something when I really didn't need to. 

Coming here daily and posting on the RNY board when they have posts about What are you eating today? It can help you be accountable. 

This is my sole support group. As I mentioned before therapy totally helps me. I need my head to have a tune up once in a while. 

Best wishes to you and look towards the future of a healthier you.

cathey9338
on 3/16/15 1:36 pm - Woodbridge, VA
RNY on 06/19/12 with

Thank you!

        
Han Shot First
on 3/12/15 11:43 pm - Flint, MI
RNY on 10/06/14

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but the advice you received is good.  It's not easy to "eat less and move more", but that's exactly what we need to do.  

And I really like the advice of "One of the counselors I found said when she struggles she just puts on her exercise clothes and goes to the gym anyway.  Then if she doesn't want to be there she lets herself go home after five minutes on the treadmill."  I could see that really working with me, when I suffer from a lack of motivation.  Knowing that I have an out could get me to the gym, and yet I know that after I'm already there and starting, I'll probably stay.  

While it may be at different levels, all of us here have non-normal issues with food.  Even though I'm nowhere near as far out as you, I've found my food issues have started to return after 5 months, and it's harder now than it was earlier.  I hope you can turn things around.

--

150 lost and maintaining!

Mell
on 3/13/15 3:07 am

I am the same way, I have seen counselors because I feel overly consumed with keeping the weight off almost like I have food anxiety.  And I struggle with the social part of eating out etc..

Most of the counselors tell me "well that is good you will not gain back the weight" and I just leave their offices sad again.  

The best thing I have done is like other say take it one day at a time, plan your food for that day plan your activity plan your water intake and try hard to make it though just that day without the snowball effect of thinking about a lifetime. I also make an effort to eat mindfully.  If I am faced with a situation where I am going to eat something off plan then I own it.  I look at the food, smell it, and taste every bite.  I used to shove it down before I even tasted it like the guilt would be less or something!  Then I tell myself that night that the day is over the meal is over and there is nothing I can do but remember it and try not to make it habit.

I also read somewhere (can not remember now) that we need to remember that cravings happen in the present, you can not satisfy a past or future craving there is no such thing.  This phrase has really helped me with binge eating.  Before if I had the one meal or thing off plan it derailed me the rest of the day, I had this thought that since I was off plan I would eat all the things I had or might have a craving for and get them out of the way.  Well there is just no such thing!

 

I also have tricks to help me with mindless snacking I will make a hot herbal tea, hot drinks with no calories take longer to drink which basically preoccupy me for a while and keep me hydrated.  I have a band so I have a few food items like raw carrots, apples with skins on and boiled eggs that if I have them and do not chew to a pulp they remain in my tummy for a while you know that feeling right before you are going to get sick because you did not chew your food right or ate too much.  That feeling is just slightly uncomfortable and lasts a while and it works to keep me not even entertaining the notion of eating anything else. Oh an spicy food, I love curry all types but they are not particularly good for you or Mexican food so I just ask for them extra spicy, I find that I eat less if my mouth is on fire!!

I do go to support groups just so people hear me talk.  And I think they do help remind me that I am not alone here. Good luck!!

Mell
Start weight: 320
At surgery:  300
Current:      185
Goal:           175

JennyMcC
on 3/13/15 4:45 am
VSG on 02/25/15

Hi Cathey, first off, KUDO'S TO YOU!!!!  I know you may not FEEL iike it right now, but YOU ARE A SUCCESS.  You are smart enough to KNOW to NIP THIS IN THE BUD before you have gained it all back.  I did the regain all + a little extra SO MANY times in the past.  So YOU are smart to when to ask for HELP!!!  I am in therapy and it has helped me so much.  I hope you can find a therapist to help you.  Sometimes it takes a few tries to find a therapist that is a good fit.  It stinks while you are shopping around for one.  Have you thought about O.A.?   

You mentioned "Emotional Health Issues" - That is part of what I work on at therapy.  Just tell any potential therapist WHAT you want to accomplish.  They are THERE to HELP you, so don't be afraid to tell them what you hope to do.

cathey9338
on 3/16/15 1:39 pm - Woodbridge, VA
RNY on 06/19/12 with

Thank you JennMcC! ;-)

        
Modest_Phoenix
on 3/14/15 11:29 pm

Congratulations on your weight loss and maintaining most of it.  Compulsive overeating and binge eating are eating disorders and food addiction is real.  Perhaps you can find a therapist in those specialties?  My guess would be that even an addiction therapist would be good too.  Are there OA meetings in your area?  You may find them helpful.  12-step programs work if you work them.  And they run on a donation basis, so you can give a couple of dollars per meeting or nothing if all you have to give is your support by just showing up to hear someone else share their experience, strength, and hope.  I read advice on another thread where the poster said when craving**** they wait 20 seconds before putting it into their mouth.  I adopted that and expanded it to a full minute and it helps.  I like the idea of making hot herbal tea too as another poster mentioned.  I love tea, hot or cold, but it  may not be your thing. Best of luck to you. 

Highest weight 208 in 2008 ** VSG 11/27/15 weight 193 ** Current weight 128 ** Goal weight range 100 -110 ** Height - 4'11" ** Age - 49

 
  

jastypes
on 3/16/15 3:20 am - Croydon, PA

I use the program of Overeaters Anonymous to help me maintain a healthy weight.  It works in conjunction with my WLS tool.  They helped me lose my 45 pounds of regain -- plus more.  The surgery does an amazing physical thing.  Unfortunately, it does not treat eating disorders including the disease of compulsive overeating. 


Blessings, Jill

WLS 5/31/07.  Maintaining a weight loss of 141 pounds and feeling amazing!

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