Last week I started zumba.  I really enjoy it.  I can't do all the bouncing and jumping because my knees wil hurt, so I just improvise.  I don't like the fact that the room is surrounded by mirrors because I prefer NOT to look into them.  I have accepted the fact that I am the largest person in the room, but I don't dwell on it.  I am starting body pump today.  I will go at my own pace, but I have been before, so I know what to expect. It has taken me 18 years to finally decided that I deserve better and I am going to conquer this feat of losing weight one food choice at a time, one zumba/body pump at a time, one day at a time.  If I don't lose but one pound a week...in 3 years I will have lost 156 pounds.  which will put me at 119, which is what I would consider too skinny for me.  I would be comfortable around 130-150.  It is not really a magic number I am looking for, I am looking to a weight that would allow me to be comfortable in doing what I use to love. (waterparks, playing sports, etc)  My las****erpark adventure...was just that, an adventure!  I was so large I stopped up the tube, so the person at the top had to push me down (with a line full of people behind me, i might add)  I was embarrassed and mortified.  Have NOT been back since and I won't until I feel that won't happen again.  Losing weight is possible, you just have to make it up in your mind!  I also heard the other day that losing weight was 70% diet and 30% exercise.   Interesting.

I'm on MFP -  ChelleDJM  Find me there!  I am also here, but not much :-)

 I have been diagnosed again with bi-polar disorder. when things are bad, and stressful I eat. the depression gets so bad that I can not get out of bed. this morning I got on the scale and almost cried! i gained 10lbs (30 total in a year). I can not blame it on water weight, time of the month, or just Easter weekend goodies... I am eating so much more than I am exercizing. I eat out because it takes SO much energy to cook, and Heaven forbid one of the teens cook meals! (I live with 2 20someting-year old brothers and thier girlfriends as well as an odd roomate in there and my 2 children) I have stress at work, stress over gaining weight and stress about the other nutcases in the house (2 of us have bi-polar, 3 of us have ADD and 2 have manic depression...good times,no?) 

I feel alone, I feel like i have to take on all this myself, I know I dont but if I dont who will? I have an appointment with a shrink in 2 weeks but no meds till then. I need to get back on tract but just dont have the drive any more :( I am doing this weightloss for me, but I just dont feel worthy anymore... :'(

thanks for letting me vent!

People Magazine online bio they posted of me:

http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20332412_205 57006_21097587,00.html


Today Show interview:

http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/45900054#45900054

NBC NY Live (Jillian Michaels was a guest after our interview so we got to meet her!)

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video/#!/shows/newyorklive/Meet-Tw o-Women-Who-Lost-Half-Their-Size-/136958163

Hi All!!
I have found this site for tracking what you eat and your exercise. Possible many of you already know this. I am slow at finding things. Just thought I would pass it along. Hope everyone out their is doing well. www.myfitnesspal.com it's free!!
I come to this forum frequently to check out if anyone says anything but am disappointed. I would love it if anyone posted more often.