PPD and breastfeeding...
So I got PPD again with this baby and last week, went to the ER due to a panick attack. They put me on some meds that are not ok while b/f and I had to stop nursing my baby after just 10 days. Plus, b/f was adding to my anxiety and was wearing me down sleep-wise (getting up every 1 1/2-2 hrs to nurse). I then went to my regular doc and he had to put me on an anti-depressant (Lexapro) and then another anti-depressant to work in the mean time (Remron) before the other one kicked in, so I wouldn't go crazy with anxiety attacks and the sadness of depression. The Remron works really well but is NOT ok while breastfeeding and I needed something strong, it's actually considered a sedative (lol).
So I'm doing a lot better now but am not out of the woods yet. I have my good days and bad days. I actually felt better a few days ago and went off the Remron (stupid me) and tried to bring my milk back because I desperately wanted to b/f my baby (this is our last one) because I hate bottle feeding and ended up having a major anxiety attack when the half life of the drug wore out of my system. I bottle fed my son after trying to nurse him for 2 weeks and it was ok, but then I b/f my daughter and absolutely loved it. It's free, better for your baby, and a lot less hassle than bottle feeding. But I've come to grips with reality that I have to stay on this med for at least another month until my Lexapro kicks in fully and so I don't want to even try the b/f issue anymore. I have to take care of myself first so I can take care of my baby and my family. It just makes me so mad that my body goes so crazy after I have my babies and I have to go on this stupid medicine!!!
So I have to get over that I can't b/f my baby and we have to buy formula and wash bottles. But there are some pluses to bottle feeding that I have to remind myself of so I don't get so down that I couldn't b/f- hubby and I can have the freedom to go out whenever or however long we want, hubby can help with night feedings, I can eat whatever I want, yadda yadda yadda.... the list goes on. I just really wanted to do it and can't because of my meds. I'm sure I'll get over it soon.
So I'm doing a lot better now but am not out of the woods yet. I have my good days and bad days. I actually felt better a few days ago and went off the Remron (stupid me) and tried to bring my milk back because I desperately wanted to b/f my baby (this is our last one) because I hate bottle feeding and ended up having a major anxiety attack when the half life of the drug wore out of my system. I bottle fed my son after trying to nurse him for 2 weeks and it was ok, but then I b/f my daughter and absolutely loved it. It's free, better for your baby, and a lot less hassle than bottle feeding. But I've come to grips with reality that I have to stay on this med for at least another month until my Lexapro kicks in fully and so I don't want to even try the b/f issue anymore. I have to take care of myself first so I can take care of my baby and my family. It just makes me so mad that my body goes so crazy after I have my babies and I have to go on this stupid medicine!!!
So I have to get over that I can't b/f my baby and we have to buy formula and wash bottles. But there are some pluses to bottle feeding that I have to remind myself of so I don't get so down that I couldn't b/f- hubby and I can have the freedom to go out whenever or however long we want, hubby can help with night feedings, I can eat whatever I want, yadda yadda yadda.... the list goes on. I just really wanted to do it and can't because of my meds. I'm sure I'll get over it soon.
Hit goal weight of 140 at 13 months out from RNY!! 130 pounds GONE! 
I'm sorry about the breastfeeding thing. I wasn't able to breastfeed my daughter and it really got me down too, I'm hoping this one will be different, but if not, I too will be thinking of the plus side to bottle feeding. I hope that this medication works well for you.
Tami "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me!" Philippians 4:13
i am so sorry you have to experience this...
i was just talking to my husband about this yesturday. with my son i beleive i had PPD but was never treated or diagnosed. I felt like i was crazy even though i knew it was possibly PPD and refused to go to the doc out of embarrasment. That being said, i REALLY HONESTLY feel like my breast feeding had A LOT to do with my depression. Most of my anxiety came from feeling like no one could take over and give me a break... even when my husband would tell me to pump so he could do the next feeding i would get annoyed, thinking if im gonna take the time to pump i might as well just feed the baby... so many of my thoughts we just irrational now that i look back on them but at the time i felt like i was going crazy. I decided i just couldnt continue to breast feed. i felt it was making me resent my baby instead of bond (completly opposite of normal i know) I'm telling you that within 2-3 days after stopping the breast feeding i felt like a million times better! I dont think it really had anything to do with being the only one taking care of him either, cause once i went to formula i always wanted to be the one to feed him and started to enjoy him. So i only did like 1.5 months of breastfeeding, dont know if that was really my issue but i was just talking to my husband about what we will do this time.
i think this time we will formula feed but i will try to do breast feedings in addition for the first week or so, just to see if i can squeak in any of those mommy antibodies to the new baby..
i was just talking to my husband about this yesturday. with my son i beleive i had PPD but was never treated or diagnosed. I felt like i was crazy even though i knew it was possibly PPD and refused to go to the doc out of embarrasment. That being said, i REALLY HONESTLY feel like my breast feeding had A LOT to do with my depression. Most of my anxiety came from feeling like no one could take over and give me a break... even when my husband would tell me to pump so he could do the next feeding i would get annoyed, thinking if im gonna take the time to pump i might as well just feed the baby... so many of my thoughts we just irrational now that i look back on them but at the time i felt like i was going crazy. I decided i just couldnt continue to breast feed. i felt it was making me resent my baby instead of bond (completly opposite of normal i know) I'm telling you that within 2-3 days after stopping the breast feeding i felt like a million times better! I dont think it really had anything to do with being the only one taking care of him either, cause once i went to formula i always wanted to be the one to feed him and started to enjoy him. So i only did like 1.5 months of breastfeeding, dont know if that was really my issue but i was just talking to my husband about what we will do this time.
i think this time we will formula feed but i will try to do breast feedings in addition for the first week or so, just to see if i can squeak in any of those mommy antibodies to the new baby..
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