I'm out this month

So, after three months of trying to get the injectibles dosage right, we finally get them so that I respond but dont overstim. We inseminated two weeks ago. Then yesterday I started my period. I am so disappointed. I thought I would be disappointed.... but I feel so much more. It feels like this huge loss and has opened up so much uncertainty and doubt. I thought I would wake up today more optimistic, but really, Im just still upset and angry. Having cramps and my period is just a constant reminder that I am not pregnant. Lets hope its a short period so I get atleast rid myself of that reminder.
 
Yesterday I went in for my cd1 baseline US and found two cysts (about 20 mm) in my left ovary. Sooooooo.... I am out this next month waiting for those to go away. I will be taking more BC to ensure that I have a period next month and then we start the next round of injectibles.

I just want to sleep until then... anyone have any suggestions for accomplishing that?

 

I'm so sorry that things didn't work out for you this month :(
I also went through fertility treatments and did get pregnant with injectables and IUI. My doctor told me I had a 25% chance of concieving on a given month. Which is close to the rates that a fertile woman my age would have TTC naturally. So really all that the fertility treatment did was put me on a level playing field with everyone else. That seemed incredibly unfair to me. That I was paying $1000 in addition to my insurance coverage, to put me on a "level playing field?"
As far as things that helped me, I found several online boards to be very supportive. I have PCOS and am a member of soulcysters.net. There is an infertility board there. I know there are many other fertility boards online, if you are interested. I just found that not many people I knew in real life could relate to what I was going through.
I strongly believe you will get your BFP, and hopefully as soon as possible! Treat yourself kindly and do what you need to do to get through this. Hugs.
Nikki

Thanks! I will check out the resources that you mentioned. I appreciate your kind words and support.

Fawn

Hey there.  The process of TTC especially with fertility drugs is an extremely emotional roller coaster ride from hell!  It took me a year to get pg finally via IVF.  The amount of fertility drugs I took during that year was crazy!  And every month when i got my period I grieved.  It was so hard.  Just be as gentle with yourself as you can.  Talk to your partner and share your feelings openly with her.  You're not alone.  Feel free to PM me anytime.  I'm happy to chat and lend a good ear and shoulder.

Thanks Darlin. I could go crazy thinking about all the fertility drugs I have already taken,... and Im only three months in. Ugh! They totally wreck me :( but I know they will be worth it in the end.

thanks for the support, I appreciate it.

Fawn

I just wanted to say that I am sooo sorry.  I went through the same thing and there aren't even words to describe the disappoint that would happen when my period would start -- or failed to start because of friggin cysts rather that pregnancy.  I also wanted to add after, 6 rounds of IUI with injectibles, 3 separate months off for cysts.. I got pregnant on my 7th injectible cycle (My RE wanted to move to IVF but I insisted on one more IUI) -- They told me the odds were slim at that point and I let that really depress me --- but my little guy is gonna be 6 next week!  What finally worked for us was a double IUI (2 days back to back) -- I personally think we were missing my ovulation -- that tdespite the trigger shot I was a day late with IUI before because the dbl IUI worked with my son and with my twins the next year,  So hold on -- I am sure it is coming -- just this waiting period SUCKS...  I am sorry this cycle wasn't it.  The fall after being all hopped up on the hormones and looking forward to a BFP is particularly miserable... I remember...   do something really nice for yourself.  I remember I also wanted to off my husband when he would say "maybe next month" cuz I know he had NO IDEA what my body and mind was going through...   but sometimes (now that I am 30,000 feet away and OFF progesterone) I can see that was his attempt to support in the only way he knew.   Hang in there  (((HUGS)))  Amy