Is it okay for me to lie?

Is it okay for me to lie and say that I'm a dumper? I am only 10 days out, so I don't know for sure, but I also never want to take the chance to find out! This is my chance to get rid of all of the junk food in my life, but my family members back home don't see it that way. We are supposed to go back home in October for my brother's wedding and everyone keeps talking about all the cake and ice cream they'll be having. And my in-laws are talking about getting my kids an icecream cake from Dairy Queen to celebrate their birthdays. They say that by the time we go out there, I should be able to eat anything I want. I know I shouldn't have to lie to them, but they refuse to hear me when I tell them that I don't want to eat any junk food with sugar again and that's part of the reason why I needed this surgery in the first place.

Shirley! You don't ANYONE an explanation (or a story, or a lie for that matter) about ANYTHING you put in YOUR mouth! Just say no thank you! Leave the room if they keep hounding you.

Thank you! It's mainly my husband's family doing whatever they can to stir up trouble. His grandma pretends she forgets what you said so she can keep asking you everyday until she bullies you into doing whatever she wants you to do. Drives me nuts!

Don't let anybody bully you! Don't be mean about it, I always make it a joke (say it while smiling or laughing), but don't eat anything you don't want to eat. Once they see all the weight that's gone, they may have more respect for your decisions. My mom is like that. I'm going to see her next month and she's talking about all the places we're going to go EAT, and all the snacks and treats she wants me to make... But when i get there, she's going to see a different person, and it's going to be hard to ask that NEW person to get into all those OLD bad habits. You are strong enough to handle this because it's not going to be the OLD you they see when you arrive.

Why do you need to lie?  You don't owe them any explaination at all!  Just smile and say no thank you and tell them you don't want any.  You can celebrate with them by just enjoying their company and being there.  Cake and ice cream does not make a celebration.

They say you should be able to eat anything you want.  Key words.  Anything you want.  So tell them you don't want it.  :)

Thanks guys! I guess I'm still learning to stick up for myself. I've spent my whole life being pushed around by other people, especially my husband's family! (We started dating when I was 18 and he was 16 and have been together ever since).

Okay it's true you don't actually owe anyone an explanation but realistically it's not always easy to just say no and leave it at that. Especially when it's family or close friends that think they have a right to know everything and tell you exactly what they think the right decision is... So I say lie away because really the easiest answer is to short and sweet blame it on the surgery. It actually shuts people up I've said it at times when I could have had a small piece of cake or a few piece's of something fried and not gotten sick from it. Certain things still make me sick but not always and usually not from a few bites but I still use it as an excuse when I need it. After all you go through with this surgery and how easy everyone thinks it is I say use it to your advantage in anyway you can. I think it's great that you are taking this so seriously from the start and your this determined to change you should be proud of yourself for even feeling this way a lot of people would have said it's just one day. So anyway I say just smile and lie away ;) Good Luck and have fun! 

Don't worry about excuses.  Practice saying with me, "No thank you.  I wouldn't care for any." 

Shame on them for pushing.  Get ready for the "one bite won't hurt you".  "no - thank you" even if you repeat it multiple times after the comments continues to work.

Maybe I;m missing something (am taking a muscle relaxor), but I don;t see why you would have to lie.  Just be honest and tell them that 1) sugar is just empty calories and you are trying to eliminate empty calories from your diet in order to lose the weight and maintain that loss, and 2) some people who have this surgery become quite ill if they eat too much sugar and you don;t want to find out the ahrd way ifn you are one of them.

What's so difficult about that...?  If they continue to push you to eats the sweets just say "I said no, thank you.  Please respect my answer/please don't ask again/please honot my healthy food choices."

Lora

I have to agree with Lora. However, that said, I have in-law situations like yours for years that have never been great. But through the years I have learned to repeat myself until I am heard or I remove myself from the situation. The best comeback to anyone no matter what it is....

"Thank you but that won't work for me."   No explanation required.

Be it bad food, impositions, bad advice, bad situations.  The friend who always expects you to pick them up at the airport at 2 am cause they don't want to pay for the comuter flight or taxi.

Self respect is the best medicine when it comes to pushy people period.  You had a serious surgery to change your life...in-laws included.  Be proud of who you are and stand your ground. And make that 1 icecream cake for all the birthdays. Don't let your kids become targets of over compensating people either. Teach them boundaries from example....yours.


Wish you all the best