I did 2.8 miles this morning, it felt like a bit of a slog but I did it. I worked in the garden a little, but now it's almost too hot to be out there.

I was pretty much on target food wise yesterday. Today I popped some popcorn and had about a cup of it, but I should have eaten some protein first. But I'll be OK sitting at 58g protein and 458 calories so I'll finish up the day on target.

I guess part of me wanted this to be easier. I didn't want to have to obsess about food or working out but it seems like I have to be slightly obsessive to make my tool work for me. The weight does not just magically come off, and I'm not where I thought I would be at 6 months out. Of course I wanted it to happen overnight, but we all know that doesn't happen. I'm half way to my goal, I've lost 70lbs and I should appreciate and celebrate that, of course without food. And I'm inching ever closer to Onederland.

I was trying to find a cheap full length mirror, I haven't had one for a while. I couldn't find one at my local Home Depot even though the website said there were 13 in stock. I'll try another store maybe later. Funny thing is I'm not one of those people who sees themselves as fat, my self image was from when I lost 90lbs and maintained it for 5 years. I still saw myself as a size 10-12 and would be shocked when I would see the fat lady in the mirror. I'm starting to look closer to the image in my head, but still have a long ways to go.

QOTD: still so new to this, I have nothing to contribute. But I come here for the support and sense of community, and kindness. I don't have many friends and I wouldn't survive if I didn't come here. So thank you everyone.

I found those chips too at Grocery Outlet, was surprised to see them.

QOTD: One of my favorites.

My surgeon wants to do another EGD in a few weeks, not looking forward to it. Since I was too awake last time he will have an anesthesiologist this time. Hopefully the ulcer will be gone, unfortunately it was not caused by bacteria.

I felt like I was losing my mind yesterday at work. Too much noise and distraction, ended up having stomach pains that doubled me over, can you say stress. I need to not let it get to me, but it is easier said than done.

Accountability was bad yesterday, I haven't even recorded it yet. I know I was low on protein and I went to Olive Garden for dinner, I didn't eat much but it is the first time I've had pasta since surgery. I ate 1 1/2 portobello ravioli, but I also had a drink. Back on track today.

I love what you did with the gnomes!

QOTD: I watched the first 8 episodes of Orange is the New Black.

Today was day 7 of walking 2+ miles in the mornings. This morning was a real slog, it was still warm from yesterday we got close to 100 and didn't cool down last night. Yesterday I did 2.3 miles and then mowed my lawn, hung out 2 loads of laundry and I spent the rest of the day inside. Even at about 7pm it was still 96 by my thermometer. Heat advisory in effect until 10PM tonight.

Struggling with work, today I just didn't want to go to work. I've got multiple projects I should be working on but getting started it difficult. As usual a coworker brought in bagels, and has to tell me they are there. Bread is my weakness and I love bagels so I'm just ignoring them. He knows I've had WLS and sometimes apologizes for telling me, but it almost feels like a bit of sabotage, or maybe I'm just in a bad mood.

I've been walking in the mornings before work, it's the only time it's cool enough. The last two days with Bruce ****burn in my ear. This morning it was really peaceful, I didn't see another person my whole walk. I have a trail that is behind my house but I have to walk on the road about a half a mile to get to the trail. Sky this morning was purple to pink to pale blue and really pretty but probably just the pollution from the wild fires.

Work is still stressing me out, even though I tell myself to just do one thing at a time and work at my pace but that is really hard to do. Everyone wants everything done now. I usually try to get up every hour and walk around the building but I didn't do it yesterday and I could really tell the difference. I like to play World of Warcraft to get my frustrations out, but they've messed with the game so that all it does is make my angry. My artifact weapon is useless, my armor which it took me a long time to accumulate went from level 928 to 205, they messed with my talents. For people who don't play it probably sounds silly, but I worked hard to get to this point only to have it taken away. So I posted my displeasure on Twitter for all the good it will do. I'm ready to just quit, but I probably won't.

Finally beyond the 3 week stall and have dropped a few pounds which feels good. Accountability has been good, but I have had a glass of wine the last two nights which I need to cut out.

Bread is my weakness, I have a bread maker and pre-op I could make a loaf of bread and eat half of it in a day. And fini**** in about 3 days. I still have a small piece of french bread occasionally.

I was pretty compliant this weekend. I managed to get over 10,000 steps both days. Went walking early on both days before it got too hot. I forgot how much it makes me feel better. Now I just need to get myself to the gym for lap swimming. I'm planning on going this afternoon.

Was trying to work on my closet and ended up with 4 trips to Home Depot on Saturday, I was too tired after that to work on it. But Sunday I did get it about halfway done. I have shoe shelves that take up too much room so I decided to take them apart, cut the shelves in half and use the brackets and hangers to put them in the closet. I still need to finish the bottom half, but I'm pleased with the results so far.

I know what I'll be doing later, love Orange is the New Black. I'll try not to binge it all in one weekend.

Yesterday was way too many calories 1207 but I hit my 75g of protein. Started the day off right did a 2 mile walk, I've been neglecting my cardio as in not doing any. I also got my new swimsuit yesterday so I'd like to go swim some laps this weekend.

QOTD: My teeth are OK, my bottom teeth in the front crowd each other and I always get excessive plaque no matter what I do. I had 3 wisdom teeth out and 1 root canal I would pass on all of them if I could. I have multiple crowns and old fillings. But everything has been stable for a while.

I will work on my accountability today.

Everyone have a great day!

QOTD: I have a MacBook Pro, which I don't use much anymore- too slow and not compatible with most things. My favorite laptop was a Sony Vaio which they don't make anymore, I still have one but it only works when plugged in. I mostly use my desktop that was built for gaming, and I also have a desktop at work. I don't do Apple anymore, not enough memory and no flexibility. I have a Samsung Note 8 phone that I love-gotta have that stylus, a 8" Samsung Tab A that I have with me most of the time. I read most of my books on it. Thank you to the library services here.

I was a little bit off track yesterday but ended up at 1000 calories and a little low in protein. But today is another day, so I'll not beat myself up and be better today.

I made a huge mistake yesterday. My coworker constantly brings in bagels and donuts, and I weakened and had an applesauce cake donut. Yes I ate the whole thing and was in misery for the rest of the night. It didn't set well with my ulcer and basically doubled me over in pain. I told my coworker to remind me of the pain in case I am ever tempted again.

I ended up drinking several protein waters to get my protein in. Ended up at 678 calories and 89g protein so I was good for the day.

Today there will be no extras.

QOTD: Windows looking out on the street and new construction across the street. The one window is not seal well so it always is cloudy. The apartments across the street now block the view of the west hills, so and the rest is a big maple tree blocking most of my view. But at least it is a window.

QOTD: My hair is almost to my waist, no bangs. It's wavy and does what it wants, the only time it's straight is after I see my hair dresser or I use my straightening brush,which I don't do often. I've always had a little wave in the back of my hair but I swear after radiation treatments it is much wavier. Knock on wood I haven't lost any more hair than usual since WLS. I had long hair until I was 25 and then cut it off, I didn't want to allow anyone to grab me by it again, and after my head was beat against the wall I lost a bunch of it and was very discouraged. About 11 years ago I read a book and there was a line in it " I used to believe my strength was in my hair" and it just hit me that I wanted long hair again.

Today I'm only up about 1.5 lbs, so I'm moving in the right direction and hopefully not stalled for long. Hard to imagine you can gain weight on 900 calories a day.

I was going to finally get my courage up to go to the gym and swim and discovered my swimsuit is 3 sizes too big, so I've ordered another one and it will be here this week. The other suits I have are too small, but I'll get there soon. I'm just going to suck it up and go to the gym, to hell with my social anxiety disorder. Swimming is one of my greatest pleasures, it soothes me and clears my mind.

Food has been good, making 75+ g of protein a day and about 900 calories a day.

I still hate my job and wonder how much the stress has contributed to my ulcer. I wish I could retire, but I can't get social security for at least 1 1/2 years or medicare for 4 1/2 years. My health insurance is too expensive and my current job does not offer benefits, holidays or vacation. And I really need a vacation. I've been looking for a new job, but I don't want to have to drive any farther. I have the best commute now only about 3 miles, and I like most of the people I work with. I just need to not let it get to me.