How do I answer when someone tells me " you took the easy way out"

I have a couple of persepctives and possible replies: 1) It may be "easier" than diet and exercise, WHICH DO NOT WORK FOR 95% OF MORBIDLY OBESE PEOPLE, but for me I thought it was the ONLY way I was going to lose the amount of weight I needed to lose, and maintain the loss. Obesity is a disease, it can be lethal, and I would never suggest to someone with breast cancer that having a masectomy and chemotherapy rather than toughing it out is taking the "easy" way out.

2) Does your friend drive to work rather than walking, buy her food in a grocery store rather than growing, raising, harvesting, and butchering it herself, purchase her clothing rather than sewing it all by herself, ge****er from the tap rather than drilling a well or carrying it from a nearby stream, live in a house with central heating rather than a cave with a fire for which she gathered the wood, found the flint and made the fire? If so, it could be argued that she is taking the "easy" way out.

Get over it I say, if there is a safe and effective way of achieving positive and life enhancing results for myself, and if that method is accessible to me, I would be foolish not to take advantage of it when provided the opportunity to do so. Human progress and civilization is nothing more that the history of people figuring out how to do things the "easy" way, rather than in ways that are exhausting, dangerous, and/or ineffective. The only reason we think this is a problem for people trying to lose weight, is because we think that being overweight is a sign of moral weakness and believe that we should have to suffer for this weakness. 

I don't buy it!

Margo you are a genius!  A logical and still polite response that will leave the rude person making that "easy way out" comment speachless!

I'd ask her... "if it's so easy y haven't u done it yet!?"... basically, it's 2012! everyone looks for an easy way out... if she knew what she was talking about, she'd know this is anything but easy! but really if she wants to stay overweight forever, that's her problem, not urs!

Hope u find a way to make her see the truth :-) GOOD LUCK!

I'm sure some people think that I took the easy way out.  Nobody has actually said it out loud, so I've been lucky.  Whe your friend sees how every day needs to become a routine of healthy food choices in toddler-sized servings and exercise is not optional, but a fact of your new life, she may realize it is not so easy.  My friends understand that I need to work at this to be successful.  Maybe a calm discussion about it once you get over the initial hurt would help.  Margo gave you some great points to use in your explanation. One of my friends even looked through my doc's post-op instruction book and followed my pre-op diet for awhile(it wasn't liquid).  I think the "easy way out" crowd are uninformed.

I first posted this on 03/27/2008 and it is still a trigger for me- let me pull out my soap box

I've been thinking about this one for awhile
- taking the easy way to lose weight

When friends/family/coworkers/strangers or even some of us talk about being perceived as or even accused of-
- taking the easy way to lose weight


There is a very nasty subtext to this statement- how dare we- take the easy way to lose weight? The message is that  obese people are weak or sinful or dirty and must be punished for gaining this weight, for doing this to themselves. - Taking the easy way to lose weight- means obese people are not suffering enough in penance for what they have done to themselves.

WLS seems effortless to the uneducated- people on the fringes of your life see the weight falling off but don't see the daily details of your life that make WLS successful.

Why don't people celebrate that - an easy way to lose weight
has become available to obese people? what in our society or upbringing reflects the need to "punish" obese people as wrongdoers?

Every time I hear that phrase or see it posted I get angry. WLS is not easy.The path to make the decision is not easy. relearning to live is not easy. and I'll be damned if I let some judgmental,  self-righteous buffoon tell me I am - taking the easy way to lose weight.

Thankfully, the only people in my life that have not been supportive are my friends that are extremely heavy (only a couple people).  I think that it is a fear response and also, a response to you actually taking action and doing something to help yourself in this area of life.  Jealousy could definitely be an issue.

Also, before I had surgery and heard about people having the surgeries,  I was adamantly against it.  I was ignorant of the process and prideful in wanting to do it without any help from others.  Weight loss surgery does help... it gives us a tool to start making better choices and form better habits.  It is not an easy way out, but it is a hopeful way out of a difficult situation.  When I finally realized that I was not pursuing surgical weight loss because of my pride... and I finally researched every aspect of each surgery.  I realized that this was a great tool for me.  A chance to relearn how to properly eat, exercise and take care of my body.

Not sure how you will repond to your friend.  But with my friends, I just say it was the right thing for me, but might not be for others.  I also know that when they see the blessings it has brought me... it will either create more jealousy... or they will rejoice in my success... as any true friend would.

Sorry they do not understand at this point... but hopefully they will in the future.

Remind her: "It's a tool, not a cure!!"
And if she would be smart enough and had the guts to get the tool herself, she would be a lot happier!

I would say "What Ever!.....I'm losing weight, feel great and this is a tool that I can work with (If I am wise) the rest of my life". I would also add "Life is hard enough so if this made the losing part of my journey easier....why not do it?"

I have lost 50 lbs (I need to update my ticker) in exactly 3 months as of today and I can count on one hand how many people have made positive comments. Very few. Most say absolutely nothing as I shrink in front of their eyes. Again....what. ever.

 
"I'm gonna lose the weight......but how are going to fix stupid?"

frisco

Why do people get so offended by that statement? It IS the easIER way out otherwise none of us would have done it. Duh. It's A LOT easier. A LOT!!! We still have to work at it but it's no where near as hard as it would have been otherwise none of us would have risked our lives and none of us would be successful long term. I think a lot of struggles we deal with now, we would have to deal with anyway. I'd rather deal with food issues while I'm not physically hungry than while my stomach is starving all day every day and while I can't stuff 10,000 calories into my stomach every day. I was going to have to deal with all of these emotional issues regardless. I'd rather do it without a stomach. MUCH easier. EASIER WAY OUT. People always swear like this **** is SOOOOOOO hard... with the exception of major complications, we'd all take this 500 times over over doing it without the surgery and you all know it because it IS the easIER way out.

That being said, at 381 pounds and rising quickly, when someone close to me says something like that I don't get offended. I completely get where they're coming from because I used to feel the same way when I was smaller (still huge but smaller than I was at my biggest). I just explain that I still have to make good choices and exercise and that I wouldn't have been able to do it without it. I also tell them the truth that I knew I was going to grow to the size where I couldn't walk or do anything myself. I was out of control. I didn't want to live anymore. I tell them that until they've lived in my body and feel what it's like to be as devastated as I was and wanting to die, then they really can't say **** I also do tell them that its much easier than the "regular" way otherwise I never would have done it nor would I have been successful. No shame in my game. **** this was a last resort. If this doesn't work, I'm ******