Learning not to be so critical of myself. Anyone else have this issue?

So, mind games are still ablaze in this head of mine.  Why can I not be happy with a 2 pound a week weightloss.  Why am I fretting over not losing more, quicker than I am.  I am steadily losing.  I am seeing new blessings each day.  New sizes every couple weeks.  My life is good and blessed and here I am allowing myself to feel bad because I only lost 6 pounds this past three weeks.  Wow, I feel warped.  4 months ago, before surgery, I prayed for a steady weight loss.  That it would not come off too fast and that I would rejoice over losing, no matter the number.  What is stealing my joy?  I tell you what or rather who is stealing it.  ME.  I am stealing it.  Playing mind games of what could I have done differently.  Negative comments to myself are flying around like mosquitoes in my head.  They are not wanted and only irritating me.  I must let them go.  I must count my blessings and stop reliving weeks gone by.  I refuse to live in regret mode.  I want to live in enjoyment mode.  So many people are going through difficult times, whether it be losing a loved one, dealing with sickness or a terminal illness, starving to dealth in a 3rd world country, starving for attention like an orphan child with no home or parents to love them.  I refuse to stay in this battlefield of the mind where I play some sort of victim to gravity.  I am going to renew my thoughts with positive ones and focus on only the good. 

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

It's honestly just part of the process. It's always good to try and focus on the positive and constantly remind yourself of what youve accomplished, but it's going to be a mental challenge for a while.

Just make sure you stop once in a while and re-focus.

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within".

Even on the darkest days you will shine as bright as the sun...Just believe in yourself and see the real you..the beautiful person that you are and the one you are becoming.

So true.  I thought the hardest part of this journey would be to keep the weight off, now I realize the journey is the hard part, emotionally.  You are right, I totally need to just step back and consciously refocus every now and then. 

True beauty is so from within.  It does shine, if we allow it to and nurture it.  A great reminder that this journey is about becoming the best person I can be, not about becoming the thinnest person I can be.

Thanks!

I can echo your sentiments, and can add that over the past few months, one of the the biggest lessons I've had to learn is how to be kind to myself.  I've had to learn to really listen to my feelings (because before I couldn't hear them since I was numbing out with food) and honor them by feeling them.  I also became aware of my cycle of "slipping," then dieting/punishing myself for the slip.  It never was a successful strategy and only brought on more frustration.

I'm happy to hear that you're aware of your feelings and how they affect you.  That's a really big step!  It sounds as though you're ready to change your self talk to something more positive and kind, which is huge.  Congratulations on this mental/emotional break-through.  I think this is the real journey we're all on - the weight loss is incidental.

I wish you nothing but the best on your journey,

Fiona

Your comment about numbing with food.  So me before WLS.  Now, since I cannot stuff my feelings, they are coming out and I am having to deal with them.  It sure is a process.  But one I am going to try and embrace and learn from.  I have already learned through counseling that my childhood wasn't as bad as I can sometimes remember it.  Counseling actually showed me how blessed my life is and how I do not have to play a victims roll.  So many times in the past, I would look back on my life and blame my parents or my weight for hurt feelings or cir****tances.  Now, I realize, that even though I may have missed out on some things because of my weight and that my parents were not perfect,  I am okay with that and can look back and see God's blessings and protection for me through all of it.  But God is also sheading light on the true me and that can be painful, seeing both the good and the bad.  However, experiencing the emotions fully and learning how to like me, that is a blessing too.  This roller coaster ride may cause me to scream at times, be fearful at times, cling to those near me at times, close my eyes at times, but it is also going to give me the thrill that comes with the ride.

Enjoy your journey!