Feeling so frustrated... Should this be so hard?

Hi All,

I just talked with my surgeon's office and I am sitting here in tears typing this.  This journey has been so long and already pretty expensive and it just seems like it will never end.  I started this process in May of last year in another city, stopped and then started back up this year in August.  According to my doctor in Georgia, all my tests were complete and I was ready to go.  I was just completing my 6 month diet but ended up stopping.  With my new doctor in Florida, there were a number of additional tests that she required. I have completed them all and insurance has already approved me. 

Right now, I won't be able to have surgery until January which is fine! But they keep telling me I have to see other specialists and have more tests ran.  I know my weight is high but that is really my only health issue.  I have never been told that I snore, I have never had any signs of having sleep apnea but they asked me to sleep with this thing on my head as a test and now they tell me I have to go to a pulmanologist to get clearance and that I MIGHT have moderate sleep apnea.  My other doctor didn't even required a sleep test at all and neither does my insurance.

I understand that this doctor wants to be completely sure that I am healthy and ready for this surgery but I have pretty much no co-morbidities except for just being really fat! I see people on here who have GERD and high blood pressure and diabetes and have had tons of previous surgeries and health issues and all of this and it doesn't seem like they have a hard of a time as I do getting this surgery.  I don't understand why I am being required to get all these clearances when I am pretty healthy except for my high BMI. 

I am not trying to rush the surgery or push ahead without my doctor having all the information, I am fine with taking time but I am not wealthy and I work for a living. Right now is a really busy time at work and I just don't have the time to take off for all these doctor appointments.  I also have already spent almost 2000 dollars out of pocket on all the tests and doctor's visits and I am tapped out. 

When I called the office this morning and they told me I had another doctor to see and more tests to take, I hit a wall.  I told her to forget it all and don't refer me and I'm not having the surgery.  I am so upset and devastated because I know this was my last chance to get healthy.  I don't want to give up but I just can't deal with this anymore... I don't have the money or the time. You can't get blood from a turnip and right now I am a very very dry turnip.

Why is this so hard?  Did anyone else have this kind of frustration trying to get the surgery?  I am tempted to call my GA doctor and see if I can get my records sent up there and have the surgery with him.  My parents still live there and I could stay with them for my recovery.

Sorry this is so long and whiny. I'm so frustrated and its really disappointing to keep getting my hopes up that this is right around the corner and keep getting knocked down....

Sweetie!! I want to hug you right now!  I know you are fustrated.  I know this looks like a tunnel without end but trust me it will be worth it at the end.  

The Doctors just want to make sure you are 100% healthy for this surgery.   Take this a small step on your new beginning.  I had to do the sleep test too and I had sleep apnea that was not fun but 5 months later, I am healthier than ever.  No sleep apnea, no high blood pressure.  JUST PLEASURE and fun.  Hang in there.

Honestly if I were you I'd go back to Georgia. I know a girl who moved home with her parents in Texas for almost a year to get her VSG done in a timely manner--with her husband back in California! Call your surgeon in Georgia and see if he can get you in for surgery. It sounds like you feel more comfortable with him anyway.

Just my advice. I don't know you but from what you write--that is what I would do. I totally understand not having the money over and over again. Best of luck to you

Please don't give up. It is frustrating, but at your weight it's by far your best bet. You may not have health issues now, but that's the very best time to get the weight off: before it trashes your health. I wish I had done this.

Most Centers of Excellence require a lot of testing, and lots of insurance company's require a Center of Excellence. I had:

A sleep study (ended up taking me two nights because I slept poorly)
Abdominal ultrasound
Upper endoscopy
Cardiac testing - EEG and EKG
Blood testing
Psychiatric evaluation

There may be more that I'm forgetting but I do remember it felt like a LOT. I think the reason it didn't stress me so much is that my surgeon's office told me in advance ALL the things I was going to need to do, rather than my finding out about them one by one. As a result, I was able to schedule them several on a day. For example, I remember I had my blood testing, EEG and EKG the same day and I think it was my Psych evaluation and my abdominal ultrasound the same day. Can you ask the surgeon's office for a list of everything you need so you can try to arrange it more efficiently?

The Higher BMI includes a higher risk of complications.  A recent study found that 1 kg/m2 of BMI added 13.5% risk of wound complications, if the BMI is over 30 that jumps to 21%.  The surgery itself is harder the higher the BMI.  From another NIHH study:

"Overall, there was a trend that major complications occurred more frequently in patients with BMI > or =50 compared with BMI < 50, (30.4% vs. 19.8%, P = 0.138). Major bleeding complications occurred in 16.1 per cent of high BMI patients as compared with 5.2 per cent with lower BMI (P = 0.025). Multivariate regression found that BMI > or =50 was associated with higher odds of a major technical complication (OR = 2.73, P = 0.04), particularly for bleeding complications (odds ratio [OR] = 5.59, P = 0.01). Male gender was also associated with higher odds of a major technical complication (OR = 3.43, P = 0.04). "

As frustrating as it is, your surgeon is doing this to make sure you have the best chance to come through the surgery as well as possible.  He has to know what complications are most likely for you and the only way to determine that is through testing.  You want him to be prepared, don't you?

There is a temptation to go the fastest route, but that is not always the safest route.  Other patients with more co-morbidities may seem to get in faster, but they may not be at as much risk, or like me, may have been going to doctors so frequently that pretty much everything is already documented for the surgeon.  You just never know  what someone else's situation is.

Talk to your surgeon, get a complete road map of where you need to go, what other tests he foresees ordering.  Tell him your situation and explain your emotional state.  He should be able to explain reasonably what he is doing.  

If your surgeon cant give you a good explanation for all this....find a different surgeon. You aren't required to use tht particular one. But they are just trying to protect you - that's all. The preop process is very difficult and very emotional. Just remember that. 

Thanks everyone for the information and support.  I really need it right now!

I called my other doctor's office in GA and they said to talk with the surgeon and that I can have the surgery performed there if I would like.  I know that my weight is very high and if I had tons of extra money and time, I would be fine with taking all kind of tests to get extra prepared.  But the GA surgeon's office just flat out told me that some of the tests I took and spent hundreds of dollars on were unnecessary. The doctor in GA is also a Center of Excellence. I've spent any and all savings I had on going through this process so even if I want to take the additional test, it just isn't possible at this time.

So now I have to either find a new doctor here, have the surgery 5 hours away from my home or continue with this one that I am now frankly very unsure about.

I remember feeling the same way you do now. However, being on the other side now, I would do it all again three times over! Whatever hoops, I would jump through them. It is so worth it!!

I also did not have any comorbidities and was also frustrated that they wanted me to see a pulmonologist and get a sleep study. I was convinced that this is all just a big racket for the medical groups (since mine refer to specialists within their own group). I had none of the symptoms of sleep apnea - none. I went to my first sleep study convinced that they would diagnose me with sleep apnea whether I had it or not. Just a big racket. Well, sure enough, I received a call the next day that I had severe sleep apnea (stop breathing approx 45 times/hour). Still didn't believe them. So I tied my hand-held digital recorder over my bed one night and recorded myself sleeping the whole night. I have a 1-hr drive to work so I listened to the recording the next few days. At first, nothing. Just normal breathing. Ha! They were wrong! I knew it! Then .... hmmmm. What is that silence? Oh and then a big breath! Crap! I wasn't breathing! Crap - they were right!!

I hope to not need the CPAP machine someday, but I'm not completely convinced that will happen. I download the data from the machine weekly and even though the setting has gone down a little, it's not much. I don't like using it, but I do it because, well, I don't want to die now that I'm finally getting my life back!! If I have to use it the rest of my life, at least it will be a better life that I am living thanks to my sleeve!

I hope you call your doctor back and get the ball rolling again. They will understand. They know that this is a very emotional ride for us. You deserve this second chance. You are worth it!

Keep us updated and come here for support whenever you need it. People are terrific here!

Hugs,

Sheryl

Thank you Sheryl.  Your story does make me feel a bit better.  I am also worried that they are making me take all these tests just to put money in their pockets.  I know that may not be the case but it's just so hard to see why I would have to go through all this with one doctor when my other, who has more experience in the field and is a COE, doesn't.  I understand that I might have sleep issues that I don't understand, but isn't that what the surgery is there to help with??? It just seems backward to me.

Sounds like you are close. Hang it there. Once you have the surgery it will all seem like a bad dream. It is worth it.