waking up from the nightmare

Hi guys!

I've been MIA for a while, and why? What's going on? Life...and it's good.

I consider myself VERY fortunate. I had VSG 6 1/2 months ago and with a lot of dedication I'm down total of 118 lbs. That's a number to me...because I'm so much more than that number. People see me, and comment on how I look, how I dress, how I act, what I eat...OK, whatever. This is the society we live in. But at the end of the day, when I'm in bed, all quiet and just me, I smile. Why? Because I'm thinner? Because my numbers are good? Nope.

I smile because I'm doing this. It's me, all me. Sure, my stomach is smaller ( but I do have a 42 bougie)...maybe it's the ghrelin thing ( spelled that wrong I'm sure)? I follow my surgeons plan, I check in with the head guy when I need to...and I get on with it. I have all my food always stocked and packed. Water in fridge and frozen bottles in freezer. Emergency protein in bag for when I get caught out and uprepared...I've made this a lifestyle...and now I seem to do this automatically.  All I know is that I can walk now. I can shower. I can breathe. I can hug my kids. I can buckle my seatbelt.

You know what TOTALLY freaks me out though..(.has this happened to some of you?}...I wake up in the morning, and forget I had the surgery, and think it was a dream...I'm still fat and l have to lug this fat around all day and life sucks! This is the way I woke up everyday for 15 years...ONLY TO THEN REMEMBER THAT IT ISN'T A DREAM??! I've caught myself do that a few times recently...and I still can't believe that this is me now.

I know some folks in our OH family are struggling...don't want to shoot  rainbow skittles like Lance...but just woke up feeling greatful for this journey so far...and praying each day to continue on this path.

To those of you fighting the good fight every day...keep at it!! We got this!!!

Peace all!

~Deb

A very nice post.  I know exactly how you feel.

Congratulations and keep up the positive vibes!

Wonderful post, thank you!

Great post. I do have mornings where I've forgotten. Where I stumble to the bathroom and flick on the light only to go, "OH YEAAAAH!" LOL

Beautiful post!  I can totally relate.  Woke up this morning and weighed.  It's my weigh in day and 8 months after surgery, down 100 lbs exactly.  I gave a little squeal, gave thanks to God, my surgeon and my PCP who kept at  me to consider surgery when I thought I could do it on my own.  Continued success to you.

Great post.  Thank you.

While I'm still a sizeable guy, I find myself being way overcritical recently and I have to stop and remind myself, look at old pictures, pull out old clothes, and just realize where I've come from.

 

Keep up the good work, that's all you can do.

hi and wow for myself just starting out that was a wonderful post and i loved it very very positive thank you:

Wonderful post and I can totally relate. 

I woke up from a nightmare the other morning.  My son and daughter were in the basement making donuts for me,  They were yelling up to the third floor where I was that they were making me donuts and to come and get some.   I woke myself up yelling at the top of my lungs that "I DON'T WANT ANY DONUTS, twice,  I don't even like donuts.  Maybe if they were making me a cheeseburger, I would have kept on dreaming while I consumed the burger.....

Wow what a post! Im up late reading posts from everyone who has had the surgery and im still not sure if im making the right decision to get the surgery also. Reading your post definitely inspires me, and i hope one day i know how you feel.