Obsession

Hi all, I'm the idiot that ate a piece of pizza at like 2 weeks out.  Well since that horrible debacle I've buckled down and have not had any ridiculous irresponsible stupid episodes like that since.  My question is how does everyone balance learning a healthy relationship with food vs. becoming super obsessed with everything you put in your mouth?  I want to get to goal as quick as possible(who doesn't) but I find that I am eating as little as humanly possible and then trying to work off all the calories I have consumed for the day.  

I am seeing a therapist, have been for a long time.  So I am working on these issues on my own.  I'm just curious how everyone balances eating healthy instead of turning your obese eating habits into semi anorexic eating habits.  

I struggle with this as well.  I am trying to focus in my strength and fitness instead of the scale (it is very hard).  I have talked to my doctor and his team and what I should be doing to be healthy.  I can eat little enough to make myself dizzy - but this isn't healthy.  So I am focusing on making sued I get healthy food and lots of exercise.  

Most people who have this surgery have had some sort of disordered eating or another.  I think it is great that you are aware of this as a potential issue.  I'm not sure the best way to get past it, but just being aware  is a good start.  

Right now I'm eating on plan.  I eat my three meals a day, I get my 3 to 3.5 ounces of dense protein per meal.  I add low carb veggies to round out the meal, and I stick to the plan.  I do worry about how I will handle it when I get to maintenance, and have a little more flexibility.  I fear I'll start pushing the limits, and eat things that cause the cravings to come back, and I will lose it again and gain the weight back.  I don't worry about anorexia at all! 

Best of luck.

Carol

I don't have an answer to your question, but I just wanted you to know that I'm glad I'm not the only one to eat something stupid right after surgery! I guess if we had strong willpower, we probably wouldn't have needed surgery!

I worry about this too.  I was raised by an anorexic mom.  She passed away three years ago at 62 years old and weighed about 90 pounds.

I think that I stayed fat because of the pressure from her and my grandmother to be thin. Their philosophy was 'you can never be too rich or too skinny.'. I worry about going too far in the other direction for sure.

My surgery date was 03/05 and when I made Mac-n-cheese for my son, I ate about a 1/4 cup of it.  Yes, I knew better then to do that.  Although I have been on soft foods since day 8, pasta is not on the menu.  My weight the day of surgey was 224 and today I weigh 210.  Would I weigh less if I did not eat the Mac-n-cheese, who knows.  Since then, I have been staying on plan.  I usually stay between 500 and 600 calories a day.  All we can do is keep on trying.  If we lose focus, then we just need to put ourselves back on track.  I don't expect this to ever be easy for me.

Do you log your food on something like MyFitnessPal?  Stay with me here, because you're probably thinking, "that just seems like more obsessive behavior to me".  

MFP has settings where you can plug in your nutrition goals for the day.  Note that I didn't say calorie goals - I said nutrition goals.  And I don't mean just protein and carbs either.  Work with your NUT to get healthy goals and turn your obsession to getting as close to meeting those goals as possible.  

Weight loss is about getting healthy and fit; not malnourished with no muscle mass.  It isn't a race; it's about learning about your own body and feeding it what it needs to work well for you for many years to come.

Frankly, the first few months I had to be obsessed with every little thing I put in my mouth.  I was learning an entirely new way of eating and existing...it took laser-focus and all my spare time was spent studying, researching, reading and learning.  Not a lot else got done those first 7-8 months, and that's OK!  

But as someone with an eating disorder I'm here to tell you that anorexia is just the opposite side of the same eating-disorder coin as compulsive overeating.  At various points in my life my eating disorder looked like bulimia, looked like bingeing and looked very much like anorexia.  It's the same disease...it just varies.  So please be careful and start making some changes to your thinking now.  

First of all, STOP trying to eat as little as humanly possible.  There is a proven plan that many people on these boards follow and it gives you adequate nutrition and the calories you need to be healthy.  800 calories a day, 80 grams or more of protein, 40 grams of carb and 80 oz. of water (more if you exercise).  Do it, stick to it, give your body the calories it needs.  

And please STOP thinking that you have to "work off the calories".   NO, NO, NO!  All the exercise in the world isn't going to make you lose lots of weight.  Losing weight is 80-90% what you put in your mouth every day - period.  Start wrapping your head around the idea that exercise is about FITNESS:  it's about heart and lung and muscle health.   I can work my ass off for 30-45 minutes and it is NOT going to burn off that cookie or piece of pizza I ate.  But it will make my heart, lungs and muscles healthier.  And having a healthy heart, lungs and muscles makes it easier for me to chase my nephews, do my gardening, ride bikes with my husband, etc.  

Now, I understand that telling you to STOP is easy but you're the one that will have to work with your therapist to change your thinking.  If your therapist isn't someone who specializes in eating disorders, then I would highly recommend you finding one that does.  Because in my experience, other therapists just don't "get it".  

I really love Tracy's response above ^^^

I totally agree that in the beginning it does kind of have to be an obsession. You are working to set up good habits for the rest of your life and that takes a lot of dedication. I am still working on this balance of having a healthy relationship with food. I don't know that I'll ever figure it out completely, but I'll never give up. I am so used to abusing myself with food, that I have to remind myself to take care of me. I can use food and exercise to nourish and take care of my body.

I appreciate the responses.  I understand what Tracy and others are saying about the purpose isto get healthy and the first few months does take near obsession to relearn how to eat.  This is my second go round with revision surgery.  I lost and maintained a 148lb weight loss from VSG for 6 years.  I did go to the anorexic side and camelback to some sort of middle ground with healthy eating.  I gained a bit more weight than I was comfortable with after I went through the eating disorder clinic.  I was able to get that off and maintain a weight I was happy with.  Floor fell out from under me in late 2012.  I started regain around feb '14.  The weight came on fast and furious and I was too mentally broken to even notice.  I've mostly worked through one of the most traumatic event of my life, thus far, and I opted to have pliation to have my sleeve made smaller after a little stretching.  I had this done when having a hernia repaired.  

I fell into the eating regime relatively easy.  I didn't have the learning curve that newbies have of getting sick from eating too fast, etc.  I do track my food but I use daily plate.  I understand why I have the disordered eating issue and I go to an eating disorder therapist. The original intent of my post was to see if others felt they have this issue and do they identify it as unhealthy.  There are several "vets" on here that lots of people claim to aspire to be like that remind me of myself when I was in the middle of fighting the anorexia.  Obsessed with each little pound, though they are at low end of their goal weight.  Eating very little and claiming to be satisfied years out with the 600calories.  It's unrealistic for majority of people to believe that at several years out you are still just as satisfied as when you are originally sleeved.  

So after all this rambling, I was attempting to find others with this same struggle as opposed to pretending it is ok to obsess about every little thing.