Welcome to the insanity that is my world. My name is Amalilly, I'm currently 48 yrs old, living in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I share a lovely apartment with my wife and her best friend. Between us we have four cats. We like to call ourselves the "crazy-cat ladies" because they are the crazy ones, not us!
My first recollection of being told I needed to lose weight was when I was only 11 or 12 yrs old. At the time I was a competitive swimmer and my coach felt 111 lbs was too much (which it might very well have been). It was the way she shared it with me that traumatized me so very much that I'll never forget it. The 'fact' I was 'fat' seemed to work its way into my belief system where it has stayed all these years. That and other beliefs will require a lot of work as I progress through this journey.
I have had a rather challenging life and each significant event led to a significant weight gain as I attempted to recover from the 'shock'... 180 lbs at 21, 225 lbs at 32 (that's the low from weight loss efforts), 280 lbs at 38 and finally my all time high 370 during this past year. My goal weight is 180, my target weight is 225. The final judgement of my success will not be measured in pounds but in happy, active days.
Some of the challenges I live with (besides the cats) include Multiple Sclerosis (benign - no changes in over 12 years); moderate to severe arthritis in my knees and lower spine, sleep apnea, diabetes, limited mobility (use an electric wheelchair any time I go out), and coming to terms with the fact I love another woman who also loves me.
I was once diagnosed as living with Borderline Personality Disorder, however after successful DBT treatment and daily practice of those skills, I no longer fit the criteria for the lable.
I qualified for the disability support program from social services and thanks to their income and supports I am able to focus on my recovery (first was the mental/emotional recovery and now physical). I like to think of it as being paid to get better with the intent of getting back to the workforce, even if only on a part-time basis.
Technically I have three diplomas, Park and Forest Recreation, Transport Truck Driving and Advance Office Administration. (looking at those it now seems a little more obvious why I might be married to another woman). Due to my previously untreated BPD I was unable to keep a job for more than 3 years (often less). Most recently I was an Administrative Assistant for a peer led mental health organization where I was also trained to be Peer Supporter and Self-Help Group Facilitator (of three different programs).
I love being outside and struggle to manage the heat and humidity we get here in the summer (this is due to the nature of MS). I think my greatest hope for a 'smaller' life is to able to go outside and walk again. I remember the joy I felt the day I got the wheelchair and fully expect to feel that freedom again due to weight loss.
And here I thought I'd struggle to fill this section with anything interesting!
"Were wellness a place, recovery would be the path and hope the footsteps" Susan Sullivan