aemusevi
It's been a while...
Jan 25, 2011
Wow.. a year a 3 months later..
Life has changed and stayed that same.. I look different, I feel different.. but.. I'm still the same. I am proud of my accomplishments. 30-40 pounds left and I am after my goal. To think, October of 2009, I was well over 300 pounds. Today, 201.3. My goodness, God is good. It's amazing. I'm sorry, I'm rambling on but I can't help but think about how far along I have come through God's grace.
I remembered what I looked like before and look at me now.. Thank You Lord..
Size 14/16! Can you believe it.
1 comment
Life has changed and stayed that same.. I look different, I feel different.. but.. I'm still the same. I am proud of my accomplishments. 30-40 pounds left and I am after my goal. To think, October of 2009, I was well over 300 pounds. Today, 201.3. My goodness, God is good. It's amazing. I'm sorry, I'm rambling on but I can't help but think about how far along I have come through God's grace.
I remembered what I looked like before and look at me now.. Thank You Lord..
Size 14/16! Can you believe it.
5 Months Post Op
Feb 28, 2010
I know.. I know.. I haven't posted here in so long and I need to get back into the swing of things.
It's about to be 5 months. It is unbelievable how things change in that amount of time. People change towards you when they see that you've changed. The people that hate on your are more obvious now than they've ever been in life. Men that would never had anything to do with you before, are suddenly turning their heads But.. honestly, that's not even my focus. People are going to talk about you.. People aren't going to like you.. Others are going to love you. Ok.. so that's just my vent.. Moving right along..
I checked the scale today. ** drum roll please ** and the number is... 232! I am overwhelmed by this number and the short amount of time it took to get there. The day of my surgery, I was 314. That's 82 pounds. Didja hear what I said... 82 pounds in 5 months!!!! My God! All things are not going wrong in my life... that is definitely a right. I bought new jeans the other day. What size do you ask? Size 20. I don't think I have saw a size 20 anything since college maybe. My shirts are also now an 18/20. I am just excited by this.
God is good all the time.. and all the time.. God is good!
I just wanted to check with everyone. Be Blessed in you life and your wl journey. We are all in this together.
1 comment
It's about to be 5 months. It is unbelievable how things change in that amount of time. People change towards you when they see that you've changed. The people that hate on your are more obvious now than they've ever been in life. Men that would never had anything to do with you before, are suddenly turning their heads But.. honestly, that's not even my focus. People are going to talk about you.. People aren't going to like you.. Others are going to love you. Ok.. so that's just my vent.. Moving right along..
I checked the scale today. ** drum roll please ** and the number is... 232! I am overwhelmed by this number and the short amount of time it took to get there. The day of my surgery, I was 314. That's 82 pounds. Didja hear what I said... 82 pounds in 5 months!!!! My God! All things are not going wrong in my life... that is definitely a right. I bought new jeans the other day. What size do you ask? Size 20. I don't think I have saw a size 20 anything since college maybe. My shirts are also now an 18/20. I am just excited by this.
God is good all the time.. and all the time.. God is good!
I just wanted to check with everyone. Be Blessed in you life and your wl journey. We are all in this together.
3 months post op
Jan 09, 2010
Wow.. I'm a little late, but happy new year everyone!!! I hope everyone is happy and blessed.
It's been a while since I have been here. Mainly because even though I should not, I seem to still get discouraged about my weight at times... It's odd how my weight stalls out for about 3 weeks and then moves.... stalls some more and then move.. but nevertheless.. I AM BLESSED!
But I am half way to my goal and that's more then something to be excited about. When I started this process on May 1st, I weighed in at 338. The morning of my surgery, I was 314. As of this morning, 251! 87 pounds since May 1st and a whopping 63 of them are post op! Again I say.. I am BLESSED. My BMI is finally under 40. I was surprised. I still have a lot of work to do but I am feeling so much better about me and I am actually starting to feel beautiful again.
I, also have to admit that I haven't been working out quite as much as I should be.. I need to get my @ss in gear.... not to make excuses for myself but it's tough with my schedule. I work from 9pm to 7am.. Spend an hour in traffic... Pick Ari & Kayla up from the sitters... Drop Ari off at school.. Make it home at about 8:30 am.. Get Kayla breakfast... and spend time with her.. Wondering when I sleep? lol So am I!! It's tough.. but that's the life of being a single parent.. I am certainly open to suggestions about how to get a work out in more. I know that I need to and honestly, it's not laziness... It's lack of time/energy/hours or minutes in the day... Things will get better...
Anyhow, here's a few updated pics. I'd still like to think I'm doing pretty good. :)
1 comment
It's been a while since I have been here. Mainly because even though I should not, I seem to still get discouraged about my weight at times... It's odd how my weight stalls out for about 3 weeks and then moves.... stalls some more and then move.. but nevertheless.. I AM BLESSED!
But I am half way to my goal and that's more then something to be excited about. When I started this process on May 1st, I weighed in at 338. The morning of my surgery, I was 314. As of this morning, 251! 87 pounds since May 1st and a whopping 63 of them are post op! Again I say.. I am BLESSED. My BMI is finally under 40. I was surprised. I still have a lot of work to do but I am feeling so much better about me and I am actually starting to feel beautiful again.
I, also have to admit that I haven't been working out quite as much as I should be.. I need to get my @ss in gear.... not to make excuses for myself but it's tough with my schedule. I work from 9pm to 7am.. Spend an hour in traffic... Pick Ari & Kayla up from the sitters... Drop Ari off at school.. Make it home at about 8:30 am.. Get Kayla breakfast... and spend time with her.. Wondering when I sleep? lol So am I!! It's tough.. but that's the life of being a single parent.. I am certainly open to suggestions about how to get a work out in more. I know that I need to and honestly, it's not laziness... It's lack of time/energy/hours or minutes in the day... Things will get better...
Anyhow, here's a few updated pics. I'd still like to think I'm doing pretty good. :)
My Mini Wow Moment!
Dec 01, 2009
This... Was my wake up call.. My weight loss has been at a stall for about 3 weeks or so.. and I was getting discourage... Until I went out one night... and compared my before and after... WOW!
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1 Month Post Op
Nov 06, 2009
Man oh man.... That's pretty much all I can say about this first month.
Let's start with the good news.
1) I'm alive!
2) I'm blessed!
3) The day of my surgery, I weighed in at a whopping 314 pounds. As of today, the scale says 278.5. I can't help but be excited about a 35 pound weight loss in a month (even if a good portion of it is water weight, I will take what I can get!)
Now... the bad news... or bad things.. however you wanna look at...
1) Ended up staying in the Hospital one day extra after surgery because of nausea and unable to keep water down.
2) 2 days of dumping... not a good time..
3) Ended up back in the ER.. DEFINITELY not a good time..
4) Still extremely dehydrated... ( I had soft pretty skin once.. lol)
5) No energy.. all I do is sleep... and go to work.. I feel like my kids are seriously getting neglected.
6) After being post op for 4 weeks.... was still unable to keep food down...
7) Good and Bad.... Found out that I had a stricture (which would explain why I wasn't able to keep food down) but my surgeon did an endoscopy and corrected the stricture yesterday... so I "should" be able to eat now and get some energy and get hydrated.
Now... my bads list is longer than my goods... but.. I am still alive.. I'm still blessed and I'm still down 35 pounds... Which means I'm still happy..
Moral of the story... Don't let the bad things get you down... It's a process and no one ever said it would be easy! You are still alive.. and you are still blessed... and you are still however many pounds lighter then what you were the day of your surgery. Be thankful and give God praise for all that he has done and everything that he intends to do for you!
4 comments
Let's start with the good news.
1) I'm alive!
2) I'm blessed!
3) The day of my surgery, I weighed in at a whopping 314 pounds. As of today, the scale says 278.5. I can't help but be excited about a 35 pound weight loss in a month (even if a good portion of it is water weight, I will take what I can get!)
Now... the bad news... or bad things.. however you wanna look at...
1) Ended up staying in the Hospital one day extra after surgery because of nausea and unable to keep water down.
2) 2 days of dumping... not a good time..
3) Ended up back in the ER.. DEFINITELY not a good time..
4) Still extremely dehydrated... ( I had soft pretty skin once.. lol)
5) No energy.. all I do is sleep... and go to work.. I feel like my kids are seriously getting neglected.
6) After being post op for 4 weeks.... was still unable to keep food down...
7) Good and Bad.... Found out that I had a stricture (which would explain why I wasn't able to keep food down) but my surgeon did an endoscopy and corrected the stricture yesterday... so I "should" be able to eat now and get some energy and get hydrated.
Now... my bads list is longer than my goods... but.. I am still alive.. I'm still blessed and I'm still down 35 pounds... Which means I'm still happy..
Moral of the story... Don't let the bad things get you down... It's a process and no one ever said it would be easy! You are still alive.. and you are still blessed... and you are still however many pounds lighter then what you were the day of your surgery. Be thankful and give God praise for all that he has done and everything that he intends to do for you!
2 weeks post op
Oct 19, 2009
My RNY was 2 weeks ago today and I am still have some mixed emotions.
24.5 pounds gone forever! I had a mini wow moment. I, looking at myself, can't tell that I have lost any weight. However, Saturday I had some errands to run and I have a pair of jeans that I am used to wearing. They were fitted jeans so they "hugged" in the places that they were supposed to. Well, I put those jeans on and low and behold.. No hugging. My thighs were swimming in these jeans. They were even a little saggy in the butt area. Holy crap. Who knew 24/25 pounds could do so much. I also decided to take a chance on a sweatshirt that a year ago I could barely get myself into. Perfect fit! I was pretty shocked. I thought it would be a while before I could actually really see some changes. Saturday was also the first time a friend of mine had saw me in a while. She told me she could definitely tell looking at my that I lost some weight. Just goes to show that you don't always see the changes in yourself but others around you do.
Another thing that I am noticing is that I never actually feel hungry. It's literally like I have to force myself to eat and if I am going thru my normal day with the kids, I honestly will forget. I'm having a hard time with this sipping theory and I know that I am not getting my protein in. I have Slim Fast - Low Carb shakes because they have 20 grams of protein in them but my stomach doesn't do well with cold liquids and those things taste like crap at room temperature. Anyone have suggestions for that? Also, every time I drink something (no matter what it is) I feel like I had a pocket of air in my stomach and it's uncomfortable. Anyone else going thru that or went thru that? Does that go away? That's what making it so tough to get my liquids in. Every time I sip something, I feel as if I have to burp and can't and the air just sits there.
And my last thing... When do I get my energy back?!? I feel like I have gotten ran over by a truck. Saturday was the first time I have been out of the house (besides going to the Emergency Room). I feel like I can't catch up on my sleep and I'm always tired. I have to honest and say that I haven't exercised since having surgery done and I'm starting to feel really guilty about that because I know that's very important. But some days I barely have to energy to walk Ari's to her bus stop in the morning. Anyone have any insight on that?
And don't get me wrong.. I'm just venting. I know that God has blessed me with this gift and that everything takes time. I'm just eager to wanna do more then just sit on the couch and take naps. My 31st birthday is a week away and I don't want to spend it snoring in my room. Just not sure what to do about my dragging around...
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24.5 pounds gone forever! I had a mini wow moment. I, looking at myself, can't tell that I have lost any weight. However, Saturday I had some errands to run and I have a pair of jeans that I am used to wearing. They were fitted jeans so they "hugged" in the places that they were supposed to. Well, I put those jeans on and low and behold.. No hugging. My thighs were swimming in these jeans. They were even a little saggy in the butt area. Holy crap. Who knew 24/25 pounds could do so much. I also decided to take a chance on a sweatshirt that a year ago I could barely get myself into. Perfect fit! I was pretty shocked. I thought it would be a while before I could actually really see some changes. Saturday was also the first time a friend of mine had saw me in a while. She told me she could definitely tell looking at my that I lost some weight. Just goes to show that you don't always see the changes in yourself but others around you do.
Another thing that I am noticing is that I never actually feel hungry. It's literally like I have to force myself to eat and if I am going thru my normal day with the kids, I honestly will forget. I'm having a hard time with this sipping theory and I know that I am not getting my protein in. I have Slim Fast - Low Carb shakes because they have 20 grams of protein in them but my stomach doesn't do well with cold liquids and those things taste like crap at room temperature. Anyone have suggestions for that? Also, every time I drink something (no matter what it is) I feel like I had a pocket of air in my stomach and it's uncomfortable. Anyone else going thru that or went thru that? Does that go away? That's what making it so tough to get my liquids in. Every time I sip something, I feel as if I have to burp and can't and the air just sits there.
And my last thing... When do I get my energy back?!? I feel like I have gotten ran over by a truck. Saturday was the first time I have been out of the house (besides going to the Emergency Room). I feel like I can't catch up on my sleep and I'm always tired. I have to honest and say that I haven't exercised since having surgery done and I'm starting to feel really guilty about that because I know that's very important. But some days I barely have to energy to walk Ari's to her bus stop in the morning. Anyone have any insight on that?
And don't get me wrong.. I'm just venting. I know that God has blessed me with this gift and that everything takes time. I'm just eager to wanna do more then just sit on the couch and take naps. My 31st birthday is a week away and I don't want to spend it snoring in my room. Just not sure what to do about my dragging around...
2 days in the ER!
Oct 14, 2009
I swear, just when I think that things are going fine... something changes.
My last post said that I was feeling better. Well, shorter after that post... things went back to how they were before. Cold Sweats.. Chills... Rapid Heart Beat... Unable to keep my own saliva down... Vomiting.. Weak... Pain/Tender tummy...
That lasted the entire day.. Which means.. it was pretty much 3 days of dumping... And I couldn't take it anymore.
I called the hospital and it just so happens that my surgeon was the doctor on call for the night and he recommended that I hurry my rear end to the Emergency Room where he would meet me.
By the time I made it to the ER, I could barely get out of the car on my own. Very weak, could barely stand. Incoherent. I felt like I had been drugged. And to top it all off, I had a fever. Wonderful!
The doctor scanned everything he could scan... did ultrasounds... ran test... and came up with one big brick wall! No problems except for me being dehydrated. So, he kept me there for 2 days. I came home yesterday. And I refuse to go back. I don't know what was going on, but it had to be more then dehydration. But I'm doing much better now. Thank the Lord!! I gained a few pounds from their fluids but that's perfectly fine. One week Post Op - 15 pounds gone. Works for me.
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My last post said that I was feeling better. Well, shorter after that post... things went back to how they were before. Cold Sweats.. Chills... Rapid Heart Beat... Unable to keep my own saliva down... Vomiting.. Weak... Pain/Tender tummy...
That lasted the entire day.. Which means.. it was pretty much 3 days of dumping... And I couldn't take it anymore.
I called the hospital and it just so happens that my surgeon was the doctor on call for the night and he recommended that I hurry my rear end to the Emergency Room where he would meet me.
By the time I made it to the ER, I could barely get out of the car on my own. Very weak, could barely stand. Incoherent. I felt like I had been drugged. And to top it all off, I had a fever. Wonderful!
The doctor scanned everything he could scan... did ultrasounds... ran test... and came up with one big brick wall! No problems except for me being dehydrated. So, he kept me there for 2 days. I came home yesterday. And I refuse to go back. I don't know what was going on, but it had to be more then dehydration. But I'm doing much better now. Thank the Lord!! I gained a few pounds from their fluids but that's perfectly fine. One week Post Op - 15 pounds gone. Works for me.
2 day dumping....
Oct 11, 2009
Yup, you read it right! 2 days of dumping. And who's to blame... well.. that would be me.
Since I have been home, my routine hasn't changed much since before surgery... I have been getting up and getting Ari up and ready to school.. walk her to the bus stop and wait til it comes... go home, catch a few more zzzz until Kayla wakes up and then my day really starts. When it's time for Ari to come home, Kayla and I walk out to her bus stop to meet her. Well, I don't know if it's just me but I have not had the energy to do this but being a single parent, there isn't much of an option there. Friday afternoon, I went to the bus stop and while I was standing there, I became very weak and very flushed and could barely stand. I assume it's because maybe I have been trying to do too much. When Ari's bus came, as always, she was extremely happy and came running off full speed off the bus and smashed right into me.. I thought I was gonna pass out right there. Needless to say, it was nap time for me. But before laying down, I decided that I would take vitamins. Bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking but I seem to have forget that my stomach size has changed. I took 2 calcium pills (huge horse pills), 2 vitamin D liquid gels and a multivitamin. Yeah, I know, I'm losing it. And I paid for it big time for two days in the row. The pills went down.. but they had no where to go... so they sat there in my little pouch.. I had stomach cramping, cold sweats, vomiting (even though nothing came up), I couldn't rest, shortness of breath and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to jump outta my chest.. Y'all, I thought I was going to pass out and die right there. This lasted for 2 days straight. I could barely get out of bed to walk to the bathroom on my own without getting light headed and dizzy. Lucky for me, my mom was here this weekend to keep the girls entertained while I hide out in my room. Late last night, the final symptoms went away. I was able to watch some TV with my kids and my mom for a little bit. I decided that I needed to get something in my stomach but I knew a liquid wasn't going to do it. Glutton for punishment? I ate a half of a very small apple.. and after that, I felt much much better. Food in my tummy and no dumping symptoms. Thank you Jesus.
So please learn from me.... spread your vitamins out. They don't all have to be taken at once. Break the pills into smaller pieces... I certainly wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did for the past few days.
On a good note (because somewhere in there, there has to be a good note)... I'm finally into Twoterville.. 295!!! Woot woot!
3 comments
Since I have been home, my routine hasn't changed much since before surgery... I have been getting up and getting Ari up and ready to school.. walk her to the bus stop and wait til it comes... go home, catch a few more zzzz until Kayla wakes up and then my day really starts. When it's time for Ari to come home, Kayla and I walk out to her bus stop to meet her. Well, I don't know if it's just me but I have not had the energy to do this but being a single parent, there isn't much of an option there. Friday afternoon, I went to the bus stop and while I was standing there, I became very weak and very flushed and could barely stand. I assume it's because maybe I have been trying to do too much. When Ari's bus came, as always, she was extremely happy and came running off full speed off the bus and smashed right into me.. I thought I was gonna pass out right there. Needless to say, it was nap time for me. But before laying down, I decided that I would take vitamins. Bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking but I seem to have forget that my stomach size has changed. I took 2 calcium pills (huge horse pills), 2 vitamin D liquid gels and a multivitamin. Yeah, I know, I'm losing it. And I paid for it big time for two days in the row. The pills went down.. but they had no where to go... so they sat there in my little pouch.. I had stomach cramping, cold sweats, vomiting (even though nothing came up), I couldn't rest, shortness of breath and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it was going to jump outta my chest.. Y'all, I thought I was going to pass out and die right there. This lasted for 2 days straight. I could barely get out of bed to walk to the bathroom on my own without getting light headed and dizzy. Lucky for me, my mom was here this weekend to keep the girls entertained while I hide out in my room. Late last night, the final symptoms went away. I was able to watch some TV with my kids and my mom for a little bit. I decided that I needed to get something in my stomach but I knew a liquid wasn't going to do it. Glutton for punishment? I ate a half of a very small apple.. and after that, I felt much much better. Food in my tummy and no dumping symptoms. Thank you Jesus.
So please learn from me.... spread your vitamins out. They don't all have to be taken at once. Break the pills into smaller pieces... I certainly wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did for the past few days.
On a good note (because somewhere in there, there has to be a good note)... I'm finally into Twoterville.. 295!!! Woot woot!
Wow.. What a ride!
Oct 08, 2009
Where to begin...
Well, my surgery on Monday 10/5... so I am 5 days into being a loser
and what a trip is has been.
First off, I worked Sunday night, I was really flipping nervous about being at the hospital the next morning so I couldn't sleep at all.. I pack my bag and I wash my hair and take a shower, take some very very unflattering before pictures and I wake up Ari for school. I had to explained to her that mommy was having a surgery to help me be more healthy and for a 6 yr old, she took it fairly well, until the bus came to pick her up for school and the water works started... I assured her that Mommy would be fine and I would be home on Tuesday by the time she was home from school.. Well, little did I know that I was telling her a lie.. I get to the hospital and all seem like it was going well... until I weighed in... holy Crap.. I must have retained all sorts of water... 314. I was truly disappointed but I wasn't going to let that ruin my day. I talk to the whole surgical team, I'm in great spirits, they are in great spirits and what seemed like 2 seconds later, I was waking up from surgery. And low and behold, no pain. Can you believe that? The whole time I had been psyching myself out for how much pain I was going to be in, I wasn't in any.. at all. I took pains meds once while at the hospital and that had more to do with pain from my IVs then the actual incisions. AMEN to that! Things seemed like they were going well... until Tuesday rolls around..
Tuesday was the day I was actually supposed to come home.. however, I went through a few issues. The doctors came in and nurses came in and every checked on me.. finally it was time to eat.. ok, drink something for the first time. One single sip of water, vomiting for 10 minutes. How is this possible? It was literally only a sip? Ok, well, maybe I drank too fast and drank too much. An hour later, I decided I would try it again.. I took a smaller sip and took more time to swallow it then the first time... Same results, vomiting up foam and dry heaving (sorry for the graphics).. This was not a good sign but I was feeling optimistic. It was just a minor set back. Then, the nausea kicked in. I couldn't sit up on my bed without feeling like I was on a roller coaster. The nurse gave me something else for the nausea because she had actually given me meds Monday night when it wasn't as bad and it only had gotten worse. So, they decided to switch the drugs. This time, I didn't even drink anything and I was vomiting. Great! If this is what I had to look forward to, I wasn't going to be so happy. Not even two thirds through the day on Tuesday and we had already been through about 4 or 5 different nausea meds. I couldn't walk around on my own, I couldn't even go to the rest room on my own.. It was obvious that I wasn't going home on Tuesday. I had lied to my Ari and I was devastated and very sick. By Tuesday evening, my blood pressure had hopped up to a whopping 183/103. I thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there.. to make matters worse, I had a fever of 100.3 and where was this pain coming from all of a sudden. I had vomited so much, that my incisions and my new stomach was throbbing. I had to break down and take the pain meds. Tuesday night, I slept horribly. I tosses and I turned as much as one could with IVs and cords here and there attached to my body. They also had me on oxygen for the occasional dip in heart rate. All I wanted to do to was home and be with my baby's and cry. I had done this primarily for them and it seemed like it was already off to a bad start. This was not what I had expected. Fever.. pain.. Blood pressure through the roof.. on oxygen... vomiting.. I could have turned back... I might have but of course, it was too late. Wednesday comes and the doctors are skeptical about if it would be safe for me to go home. My nausea has dissipated.. which was a plus... blood pressure had come down a little, but not a enough to make the doctors happy... I was still running a fever and the mere thought of taking a drink of water made me want to puke.. so.. I slept some more... as much as I could..
The nurse came into my room at around 12pm... she wanted to check my blood pressure.. and hallelujah... it was down.. not low by any means but down by a substantial amount.. 167/83! No nausea... my fever had dropped to 99... the nurse asked if I wanted to take a shower to see if that would relieve some stress.. and y'all know what? I walked my happy butt across the hall to the shower, without her assistance. Now, I know some of you may think that I am making this up but the only thing that I can say is.. I prayed. God, I know you did not bring me this far to make me want to turn back. God I accept your gift and your blessing and this new stage in life that you had brought me to.. God I ask that you give me strength to make it through this.. I ask the you carry me through this just as you carry me through every other issue I have in life.. He listened. I woke up feeling none of that pain and nausea that I was feeling before. I had no desire to try and drink anything.. I was able to stand up without feeling like the room was spinning. Can y'all believe that by 3:00pm I was home resting in my own bed! God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.. God is truly truly good.. I thought I was going to spend yet another night in that hospital..
I told myself I was going actually have something to drink. I drank a whole cup of carnation instant breakfast and no vomiting. Yesterday, I was even able to take vitamins and keep them down. Just for the sake and doing so this morning, I weighed myself. can y'all believe that scale said 304! 10 pounds and my scale has been pretty consistent with the hospital's give or take a couple ounces here and there. I am so happy this morning that I couldn't even sleep.. I should be in bed resting now but I just wanted to tell someone! I just wanted to rejoice in what God has done. He is a miracle worker and I will never let myself forget that. I am blessed OH family and I wanted to share my story so that maybe it could bless someone else. Don't let any of the "complications" get you down. God knows what he is doing! He is with you 100 % of the way through this and he had this decision made for you long before you even had to made. Just pray. God is listening to you. He understands your hurt.. your pain.. your concerns.. your worries.. and there is nothing.. and I do mean nothing in this world that he can not bring you through.
OH family... be blessed and be loved... I will continue to put you in my prayers and I asked that y'all do that same for me.
4 comments
Well, my surgery on Monday 10/5... so I am 5 days into being a loser
and what a trip is has been. First off, I worked Sunday night, I was really flipping nervous about being at the hospital the next morning so I couldn't sleep at all.. I pack my bag and I wash my hair and take a shower, take some very very unflattering before pictures and I wake up Ari for school. I had to explained to her that mommy was having a surgery to help me be more healthy and for a 6 yr old, she took it fairly well, until the bus came to pick her up for school and the water works started... I assured her that Mommy would be fine and I would be home on Tuesday by the time she was home from school.. Well, little did I know that I was telling her a lie.. I get to the hospital and all seem like it was going well... until I weighed in... holy Crap.. I must have retained all sorts of water... 314. I was truly disappointed but I wasn't going to let that ruin my day. I talk to the whole surgical team, I'm in great spirits, they are in great spirits and what seemed like 2 seconds later, I was waking up from surgery. And low and behold, no pain. Can you believe that? The whole time I had been psyching myself out for how much pain I was going to be in, I wasn't in any.. at all. I took pains meds once while at the hospital and that had more to do with pain from my IVs then the actual incisions. AMEN to that! Things seemed like they were going well... until Tuesday rolls around..
Tuesday was the day I was actually supposed to come home.. however, I went through a few issues. The doctors came in and nurses came in and every checked on me.. finally it was time to eat.. ok, drink something for the first time. One single sip of water, vomiting for 10 minutes. How is this possible? It was literally only a sip? Ok, well, maybe I drank too fast and drank too much. An hour later, I decided I would try it again.. I took a smaller sip and took more time to swallow it then the first time... Same results, vomiting up foam and dry heaving (sorry for the graphics).. This was not a good sign but I was feeling optimistic. It was just a minor set back. Then, the nausea kicked in. I couldn't sit up on my bed without feeling like I was on a roller coaster. The nurse gave me something else for the nausea because she had actually given me meds Monday night when it wasn't as bad and it only had gotten worse. So, they decided to switch the drugs. This time, I didn't even drink anything and I was vomiting. Great! If this is what I had to look forward to, I wasn't going to be so happy. Not even two thirds through the day on Tuesday and we had already been through about 4 or 5 different nausea meds. I couldn't walk around on my own, I couldn't even go to the rest room on my own.. It was obvious that I wasn't going home on Tuesday. I had lied to my Ari and I was devastated and very sick. By Tuesday evening, my blood pressure had hopped up to a whopping 183/103. I thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there.. to make matters worse, I had a fever of 100.3 and where was this pain coming from all of a sudden. I had vomited so much, that my incisions and my new stomach was throbbing. I had to break down and take the pain meds. Tuesday night, I slept horribly. I tosses and I turned as much as one could with IVs and cords here and there attached to my body. They also had me on oxygen for the occasional dip in heart rate. All I wanted to do to was home and be with my baby's and cry. I had done this primarily for them and it seemed like it was already off to a bad start. This was not what I had expected. Fever.. pain.. Blood pressure through the roof.. on oxygen... vomiting.. I could have turned back... I might have but of course, it was too late. Wednesday comes and the doctors are skeptical about if it would be safe for me to go home. My nausea has dissipated.. which was a plus... blood pressure had come down a little, but not a enough to make the doctors happy... I was still running a fever and the mere thought of taking a drink of water made me want to puke.. so.. I slept some more... as much as I could..
The nurse came into my room at around 12pm... she wanted to check my blood pressure.. and hallelujah... it was down.. not low by any means but down by a substantial amount.. 167/83! No nausea... my fever had dropped to 99... the nurse asked if I wanted to take a shower to see if that would relieve some stress.. and y'all know what? I walked my happy butt across the hall to the shower, without her assistance. Now, I know some of you may think that I am making this up but the only thing that I can say is.. I prayed. God, I know you did not bring me this far to make me want to turn back. God I accept your gift and your blessing and this new stage in life that you had brought me to.. God I ask that you give me strength to make it through this.. I ask the you carry me through this just as you carry me through every other issue I have in life.. He listened. I woke up feeling none of that pain and nausea that I was feeling before. I had no desire to try and drink anything.. I was able to stand up without feeling like the room was spinning. Can y'all believe that by 3:00pm I was home resting in my own bed! God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.. God is truly truly good.. I thought I was going to spend yet another night in that hospital..
I told myself I was going actually have something to drink. I drank a whole cup of carnation instant breakfast and no vomiting. Yesterday, I was even able to take vitamins and keep them down. Just for the sake and doing so this morning, I weighed myself. can y'all believe that scale said 304! 10 pounds and my scale has been pretty consistent with the hospital's give or take a couple ounces here and there. I am so happy this morning that I couldn't even sleep.. I should be in bed resting now but I just wanted to tell someone! I just wanted to rejoice in what God has done. He is a miracle worker and I will never let myself forget that. I am blessed OH family and I wanted to share my story so that maybe it could bless someone else. Don't let any of the "complications" get you down. God knows what he is doing! He is with you 100 % of the way through this and he had this decision made for you long before you even had to made. Just pray. God is listening to you. He understands your hurt.. your pain.. your concerns.. your worries.. and there is nothing.. and I do mean nothing in this world that he can not bring you through.
OH family... be blessed and be loved... I will continue to put you in my prayers and I asked that y'all do that same for me.
3 days....
Oct 01, 2009
Ok, so my time is approaching... (doesn't that just sound like the end... lol)... Seriously, I have been waiting for this time and it's literally 3 days away. And oddly enough, I'm emotionless. It almost just doesn't seem real.. It's hard to explain. I assume that as I am driving to the hospital, that will all change.
A nurse from the hospital called yesterday to let me know what I expect and what time I should arrive at the hospital and things like that.. And then she told me about the shot that they are going to give me... and I almost started crying at the thought of it. She mentioned that when I get to hospital and get settled, they'll give me a shot in the stomach... once in the morning... once at night.. and another Tuesday morning... the shot is to make sure that my blood doesn't clot. Did anyone else have that? Is that something standard? Do they numb it up first? OMG! The thought of that makes me shudder.
I'm ready for this.. I'm ready for the change.. I'm ready to actually see my exercise make a difference. I'm ready to actually have energy to exercise. I'm ready to chase my girls thru the park and play with them without having to take a break to catch my breath... I'm ready to walk up the stairs in my house and not wanna cry from the pain in my knees.. I'm ready to be healthy... I'm ready to go to a normal start and fit normal clothes.. I'm ready to feel like I am pretty/sexy/hot... I'm ready to just feel good about me.. I'm not taking the loser way out, I'm accepting the tools to help me do the right thing for me... God has blessed me to understand that this is the right decision for me... regardless of what anyone else has to say... he blesses me every day.. on Monday he will bless me again.. he will be holding me all the way thru this surgery.. just as he has held me throughout my entire life..
Whew! I can see the loser's bench from where I stand! Save me a spot for my big butt! LOL .. but as I make room for the next person, my spot will get smaller
3 days... it is the end.. the end of the old me... I can't wait!
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A nurse from the hospital called yesterday to let me know what I expect and what time I should arrive at the hospital and things like that.. And then she told me about the shot that they are going to give me... and I almost started crying at the thought of it. She mentioned that when I get to hospital and get settled, they'll give me a shot in the stomach... once in the morning... once at night.. and another Tuesday morning... the shot is to make sure that my blood doesn't clot. Did anyone else have that? Is that something standard? Do they numb it up first? OMG! The thought of that makes me shudder.
I'm ready for this.. I'm ready for the change.. I'm ready to actually see my exercise make a difference. I'm ready to actually have energy to exercise. I'm ready to chase my girls thru the park and play with them without having to take a break to catch my breath... I'm ready to walk up the stairs in my house and not wanna cry from the pain in my knees.. I'm ready to be healthy... I'm ready to go to a normal start and fit normal clothes.. I'm ready to feel like I am pretty/sexy/hot... I'm ready to just feel good about me.. I'm not taking the loser way out, I'm accepting the tools to help me do the right thing for me... God has blessed me to understand that this is the right decision for me... regardless of what anyone else has to say... he blesses me every day.. on Monday he will bless me again.. he will be holding me all the way thru this surgery.. just as he has held me throughout my entire life..
Whew! I can see the loser's bench from where I stand! Save me a spot for my big butt! LOL .. but as I make room for the next person, my spot will get smaller
3 days... it is the end.. the end of the old me... I can't wait!
About Me
MN
Location
26.6
BMI
Surgery
10/05/2009
Surgery Date
Jun 12, 2009
Member Since
