aemusevi
My friend Tonia :)
Jul 16, 2009
Soo.. my friend (who works with me, that is also having WLS) called me yesterday.. She has been waiting for approval from the insurance company... She is the one that has the same dietitian as I do.... Anywho, she called today.. and YAY.. She got her date! I'm a SO happy for her. September 3rd (I think) is her new birthday. Which is very cool.. because now she can been off work for her daughter's first day of school... (Her oldest and Ari - my oldest are the same age... they both start Kindergarten this year)... I'm excited for her.. She tells me.. "OMG.. I gotta do this liquid diet.. but before I start.. you need to make me some chicken.. " ROFL! Hilarious. I think she is kind of scared.. as we all are going into this.. But I'm sure she will do great. She's been following the rules.. but she is also very practical about it. She doesn't deprive herself of anything that she wants.. but she does it in moderation. I think she is doing an awesome job. She is already down at least 30 pounds on her own by just changing her habits. She chose Lap Band so she is going to lose weight a little slower but I'm sure that she'll be fine.. So, you guys pray for her... just as I will..
Also in our conversation.. after me telling her how excited I am for her.. and how I am a tab bit jealous of her right now (not hater jealous... just jealous because I'm still waiting..lol, she understood).. she gave me what could be some very good news.. When HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center - the hospital our bariatrics program is through) called her and told her she was approved... They actually offered her a surgery date of August 6th, which is great because the last we heard... surgery was backed up and possibly scheduled 2 months after approval.. More like 2 weeks! So, I will be keeping my fingers crossed. Hopefully, that is how it's going.. 2 weeks.. instead of 2 months.. Wouldn't that be great. That means that maybe I can still have a date by October!
I asked that yall keep us in your prayers... just I keep all yall in mine.
3 comments
Also in our conversation.. after me telling her how excited I am for her.. and how I am a tab bit jealous of her right now (not hater jealous... just jealous because I'm still waiting..lol, she understood).. she gave me what could be some very good news.. When HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center - the hospital our bariatrics program is through) called her and told her she was approved... They actually offered her a surgery date of August 6th, which is great because the last we heard... surgery was backed up and possibly scheduled 2 months after approval.. More like 2 weeks! So, I will be keeping my fingers crossed. Hopefully, that is how it's going.. 2 weeks.. instead of 2 months.. Wouldn't that be great. That means that maybe I can still have a date by October!
I asked that yall keep us in your prayers... just I keep all yall in mine.
Here we go again...
Jul 14, 2009
So just when I thought that I was over this mess with the dietitian.. Here we go again...
I was thinking to myself and finally coming to terms with the fact that I have to see the dietitian again.. I was thinking, honestly, I'm really not THAT far along. I started this process on May 1st so I can't really get upset. I've made some great progress..I started off weighing 338 and I am somewhere in the range of 320.. give or take a few pounds.. I'm perfectly fine with that... I have changed a lot habits and I have stuck with them.. I'm not perfect so I do slip up... but I get my butt right back on track.. I haven't been to the gym in over a week and I'm kind of getting disappointed in myself for that.. The girl that I usually work out with told me she misses having a workout partner so. I gotta get my rear end in gear.. I'm still living out of boxes (I moved into a new townhouse last week/week and a half ago).. I have to find my workout clothes.. my tennis shoes and my IPOD and keep it moving..
Well... all that sounded really great right? I was doing a super fantastic job of encouraging myself.... Until.. I was at work last night...
And lay me lay the ground work for this one... I work as a 911 dispatcher.. quite a few of us there are overweight... fat.. obese... fluffy... whateve.. Well... There are 5 of us who considered WLS.. One is my Sgt, who had it done a few years ago, she is always very encouraging... another one has already had it done already.. She's not following the rules at all.. and honestly hasn't lost a whole lot of weight.. I'm hoping she comes to reality and realizes that this doesn't work in it's on.. It's a TOOL.. not a fix.. Anyhow.. One of my closest friends... who is going through the same program as I am.. and has the same dietitian.. (and the dietitian made her see her again too over some BS)... she is awaiting approval from the insurance company.. from there surgery dates are supposedly about 2 months out from that.. so I suspect she will have a date soon... Then the is another lady.. her and I kind of talk on and off about the surgery because 2 years ago we both started the process.. and kind of gave up somewhere in the middle (I guess neither one of us was ready then...)..
well... last night she asked if I had a date yet... I think I wanted to cry right then and there.. but I held it in.. you know. I kept my composure.. (because I can't be a big ass baby and start crying at work.. lol) Anyhow, I told her know.. and I explained to her what's going in my process and I tried to chuckle it off until she said "oh, I'm having surgery on September 11th.." GREAT! Dang it! She started telling me how this time was so much different from the last time and how everything is just falling into place and how this time it just must be meant to be... I can agree with that.. Two years ago, I allowed myself to give.. Shoot. I could already be skinny by now, running miles and things... Anywho, finally she says, "you must have started the process way after me.." and asked when I started all of this.. and I told her May 1st... and then she gets this stupid look on her face and says "hmm.. that's odd.. wonder why you are so far behind.. I started the process May 28th... " I almost lost it.. She already has a surgery date... and she started after me.. she isn't even approved by then insurance yet and they have given this woman a date.. Yall know I was angry inside.. not to mention... very sad.
Well.. after that.. the old me came out.. and all the emotions were rushing through me.. and then.. the old me came out... and I went straight for the candy cabinet. Damned emotional eating.. I think I was trying to eat eveything in sight.. I called my friend.. the one who has the same dietitian as me... and she basically told me to get over it... and that me being upset isn't going to change anything and it's not going to make anything happen more quickly... That's not really what I expected her to say.. that was like a kick in the face... And I know some of yall are reading this, thinking the same thing... get over it already.. it was a week ago.. let it go... but... this surgery is important to me for soo many reasons... just as it is for all of us.. It's not just about looking better.. that's like the smallest part of it... this could change my life in so many ways.. not to mention add a few years to it.. and I guess I'm impatient.. I just want it to be here like yesterday ya know...
So now.. here I sit... 6:34 am... (got off work at 3 am.. and still haven't slept..) ashamed of myself for eating garbage (always an addict.. I guess) .. and sad.. and angry.. I wish I could just turn my emotions off sometimes.. Everything happen for a reason right? Maybe mine is telling me to throw in the towel...
But then.. I remember 2 GREAT reasons to go on...
3 comments
I was thinking to myself and finally coming to terms with the fact that I have to see the dietitian again.. I was thinking, honestly, I'm really not THAT far along. I started this process on May 1st so I can't really get upset. I've made some great progress..I started off weighing 338 and I am somewhere in the range of 320.. give or take a few pounds.. I'm perfectly fine with that... I have changed a lot habits and I have stuck with them.. I'm not perfect so I do slip up... but I get my butt right back on track.. I haven't been to the gym in over a week and I'm kind of getting disappointed in myself for that.. The girl that I usually work out with told me she misses having a workout partner so. I gotta get my rear end in gear.. I'm still living out of boxes (I moved into a new townhouse last week/week and a half ago).. I have to find my workout clothes.. my tennis shoes and my IPOD and keep it moving..
Well... all that sounded really great right? I was doing a super fantastic job of encouraging myself.... Until.. I was at work last night...
And lay me lay the ground work for this one... I work as a 911 dispatcher.. quite a few of us there are overweight... fat.. obese... fluffy... whateve.. Well... There are 5 of us who considered WLS.. One is my Sgt, who had it done a few years ago, she is always very encouraging... another one has already had it done already.. She's not following the rules at all.. and honestly hasn't lost a whole lot of weight.. I'm hoping she comes to reality and realizes that this doesn't work in it's on.. It's a TOOL.. not a fix.. Anyhow.. One of my closest friends... who is going through the same program as I am.. and has the same dietitian.. (and the dietitian made her see her again too over some BS)... she is awaiting approval from the insurance company.. from there surgery dates are supposedly about 2 months out from that.. so I suspect she will have a date soon... Then the is another lady.. her and I kind of talk on and off about the surgery because 2 years ago we both started the process.. and kind of gave up somewhere in the middle (I guess neither one of us was ready then...)..
well... last night she asked if I had a date yet... I think I wanted to cry right then and there.. but I held it in.. you know. I kept my composure.. (because I can't be a big ass baby and start crying at work.. lol) Anyhow, I told her know.. and I explained to her what's going in my process and I tried to chuckle it off until she said "oh, I'm having surgery on September 11th.." GREAT! Dang it! She started telling me how this time was so much different from the last time and how everything is just falling into place and how this time it just must be meant to be... I can agree with that.. Two years ago, I allowed myself to give.. Shoot. I could already be skinny by now, running miles and things... Anywho, finally she says, "you must have started the process way after me.." and asked when I started all of this.. and I told her May 1st... and then she gets this stupid look on her face and says "hmm.. that's odd.. wonder why you are so far behind.. I started the process May 28th... " I almost lost it.. She already has a surgery date... and she started after me.. she isn't even approved by then insurance yet and they have given this woman a date.. Yall know I was angry inside.. not to mention... very sad.
Well.. after that.. the old me came out.. and all the emotions were rushing through me.. and then.. the old me came out... and I went straight for the candy cabinet. Damned emotional eating.. I think I was trying to eat eveything in sight.. I called my friend.. the one who has the same dietitian as me... and she basically told me to get over it... and that me being upset isn't going to change anything and it's not going to make anything happen more quickly... That's not really what I expected her to say.. that was like a kick in the face... And I know some of yall are reading this, thinking the same thing... get over it already.. it was a week ago.. let it go... but... this surgery is important to me for soo many reasons... just as it is for all of us.. It's not just about looking better.. that's like the smallest part of it... this could change my life in so many ways.. not to mention add a few years to it.. and I guess I'm impatient.. I just want it to be here like yesterday ya know...
So now.. here I sit... 6:34 am... (got off work at 3 am.. and still haven't slept..) ashamed of myself for eating garbage (always an addict.. I guess) .. and sad.. and angry.. I wish I could just turn my emotions off sometimes.. Everything happen for a reason right? Maybe mine is telling me to throw in the towel...
But then.. I remember 2 GREAT reasons to go on...
Reading Forums...
Jul 12, 2009
I just read a forum from someone asking about what kind of surgery she should get.. and people got into a HUGE arguement about Duodenal Switch and RNY. There are people saying that how their DS is far more superior then RNY.. and how you'd be stupid to get RNY and how DS has virtually no issues.. Really people? It's time to grow up. This is supposed to be a site of all of us to support each others and our lifelong journey to become a healthier person and you have acting stupid. If your surgery works for you, then GREAT. It's supposed to. If you have complications.. I'm sorry but honestly, it's the chance that we all take when we go into this... but you start this journey knowing that there is always a chance and you pray that nothing happens..
Then there is this one guy talking about how he had RNY done 28 years ago and how it worked for the first 15 years but then he stopped dieting and exercising and gained a ton of weight back... well DUH YA JACKASS!... That's probably how we all became obese in the first place.. Not being mindful of what we eat and not exercising.. (no offense to anyone)... It's not like one day, we just woke up fat and here we are..
Here are my thoughts.. which probably only mean something to me... lol
~ I don't care what surgery you choose, as long as you are happy with it. It's not my place/job to tell you which one is right or wrong because we all have this decision to make for ourselves.. and maybe what I choose for me.. may not be the best option for you... What is my place/job is to support you no matter what.. good times and bad... to encourage you to do your best, praise you when you succeed, hug you if plateau and cry with you if there is a problem.. My job it simply to be a friend and pray for you and support you.. ~
And I plan to do my job well!
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Then there is this one guy talking about how he had RNY done 28 years ago and how it worked for the first 15 years but then he stopped dieting and exercising and gained a ton of weight back... well DUH YA JACKASS!... That's probably how we all became obese in the first place.. Not being mindful of what we eat and not exercising.. (no offense to anyone)... It's not like one day, we just woke up fat and here we are..
Here are my thoughts.. which probably only mean something to me... lol
~ I don't care what surgery you choose, as long as you are happy with it. It's not my place/job to tell you which one is right or wrong because we all have this decision to make for ourselves.. and maybe what I choose for me.. may not be the best option for you... What is my place/job is to support you no matter what.. good times and bad... to encourage you to do your best, praise you when you succeed, hug you if plateau and cry with you if there is a problem.. My job it simply to be a friend and pray for you and support you.. ~
And I plan to do my job well!
Mixed Emotions...
Jul 10, 2009
Yup.. .here I am... can't sleep... venting again! I know.. it's enough already.. Feel free to not read this because I know yall are tired of hearing it... lol
This is really driving me insane. I hate that this dietitian has so much control. She actually kind of did the same thing to another friend of mine. My friend was on her last appt with this same dang dietitian... and because she couldn't tell her exactly everything in that "REFERENCE GUIDE"... ya know.. that book that you are supposed to REFER back to when you are unsure about something, she made my friend see her again too. I don't get it. When you see that people are working hard and really need/want to get this done, why would you stand in their way over such stupid reasons? And don't get me wrong, the reference guide is very important but it's not like they are taking this book back. I plan to use it if I am confused. It would be stupid for me not to. Why sabotage myself?
So then I was thinking, what would happen if I try a different hospital? Would the process go faster? I would have to follow the same guild lines with Health Partners, but I'm almost done with them so I would assume that I wouldn't have to do those 5 phone calls all over again. I wouldn't have to deal with this psychotic dietitian. Ok, I'm sorry. That's not nice. I won't resort to calling her names just because I am angry with her.
Do you hear me God? I'm tired.. I'm tired of being without energy.. I'm tired of being FAT.. I know you hear.. and God is good.. and I will NEVER doubt that. And I know things happen on his time.. not on mine... "He may not come when you want him.. but he's always on time..."
With that being said.. there is a flip side to my anger... and cluelessness....
I'm still thankful.. I still give all the grace in the world to God.. because without him.. I wouldn't be this far in the process... So close.. yet so far.. I'm almost there... I just want to this hoop jumping to be over... I just want my day to come when I join the loser's side.. That day when I start being happy about being me.. That day when I can take my girls to the park and run with them and not just watch them... That day when I can go to the gym at a normal time of the day and not being embarrassed about being the fat person there... I'm just ready... and the more ready I feel like I am... the more I feel like I get set back.. And to me... it's inexcusable for an appt that supposed to be a followup in a month... happen almost 2 months later. Anyone feel me on this? :) Ok.. I think I am done... Until next time.... God Bless..
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This is really driving me insane. I hate that this dietitian has so much control. She actually kind of did the same thing to another friend of mine. My friend was on her last appt with this same dang dietitian... and because she couldn't tell her exactly everything in that "REFERENCE GUIDE"... ya know.. that book that you are supposed to REFER back to when you are unsure about something, she made my friend see her again too. I don't get it. When you see that people are working hard and really need/want to get this done, why would you stand in their way over such stupid reasons? And don't get me wrong, the reference guide is very important but it's not like they are taking this book back. I plan to use it if I am confused. It would be stupid for me not to. Why sabotage myself?
So then I was thinking, what would happen if I try a different hospital? Would the process go faster? I would have to follow the same guild lines with Health Partners, but I'm almost done with them so I would assume that I wouldn't have to do those 5 phone calls all over again. I wouldn't have to deal with this psychotic dietitian. Ok, I'm sorry. That's not nice. I won't resort to calling her names just because I am angry with her.
Do you hear me God? I'm tired.. I'm tired of being without energy.. I'm tired of being FAT.. I know you hear.. and God is good.. and I will NEVER doubt that. And I know things happen on his time.. not on mine... "He may not come when you want him.. but he's always on time..."
With that being said.. there is a flip side to my anger... and cluelessness....
I'm still thankful.. I still give all the grace in the world to God.. because without him.. I wouldn't be this far in the process... So close.. yet so far.. I'm almost there... I just want to this hoop jumping to be over... I just want my day to come when I join the loser's side.. That day when I start being happy about being me.. That day when I can take my girls to the park and run with them and not just watch them... That day when I can go to the gym at a normal time of the day and not being embarrassed about being the fat person there... I'm just ready... and the more ready I feel like I am... the more I feel like I get set back.. And to me... it's inexcusable for an appt that supposed to be a followup in a month... happen almost 2 months later. Anyone feel me on this? :) Ok.. I think I am done... Until next time.... God Bless..
Well... What's the reason...?
Jul 10, 2009
So.. as you know.. I have had kind of a set back with surgery. The dietitian told me that I need to see her again just because I was late for an appointment. Not because I'm not making progress.. simply because I was late. And ya know what? I'm really depressed. Whenever I think about it, I just wanna cry. And I know some of you are asking.. what's the big deal? The big deal is. I'm being held back.. not because I'm not making changing... not because I am doing something wrong... not because the scale isn't moving... but all because we didn't have time to review some things in a reference guide. I would have been done with everything at the end of this month and it could have been sent off for approval for insurance.
I talked to my mom about it.. and she is not supportive at all about this surgery... she would rather I stay fat and unhappy then go and get this surgery done. So.. she gives me the cliche' remark "Well Adrian, everything happens for a reason.." Well damn! That was sure motivating. So my question is, after following at least 98% of the rules.. and as the dietitian says "making great progress and doing great...".. WTF is the reason? Why am I the one that has to get stalled on this? This makes me not even want to continue down this road.. It makes me wanna give up.
There is a chick at work. who recently had Lap Band done. She is my size and I think about my weight... relatively close to the same height. Well, she has changed absolutely nothing about herself. She still eats huge meals... junk food... regular soda.. no exercise... No medical issues.. And she had this surgery done and made it through the process with ease.. The amount of weight that she was supposed to lose... they let her get by with not losing as much. Me, on the other hand, busting my ass trying to exercise.. cut out my junk food (and believe me.. that was a task within itself...).... practically no soda at all... bad knees... bad back.. higher blood pressure... and I'm getting the run around.. We've lost the same amount of weight, hers with the surgery, mine without. And yes, I guess I am whining. LOL!
Why does it seem like other people make it through this process so quickly, and others take forever. I really wanted to have this surgery on or by my birthday in October but it doesn't seem like it is going to happen. I guess I'm just venting.. and on the verge of giving up.
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I talked to my mom about it.. and she is not supportive at all about this surgery... she would rather I stay fat and unhappy then go and get this surgery done. So.. she gives me the cliche' remark "Well Adrian, everything happens for a reason.." Well damn! That was sure motivating. So my question is, after following at least 98% of the rules.. and as the dietitian says "making great progress and doing great...".. WTF is the reason? Why am I the one that has to get stalled on this? This makes me not even want to continue down this road.. It makes me wanna give up.
There is a chick at work. who recently had Lap Band done. She is my size and I think about my weight... relatively close to the same height. Well, she has changed absolutely nothing about herself. She still eats huge meals... junk food... regular soda.. no exercise... No medical issues.. And she had this surgery done and made it through the process with ease.. The amount of weight that she was supposed to lose... they let her get by with not losing as much. Me, on the other hand, busting my ass trying to exercise.. cut out my junk food (and believe me.. that was a task within itself...).... practically no soda at all... bad knees... bad back.. higher blood pressure... and I'm getting the run around.. We've lost the same amount of weight, hers with the surgery, mine without. And yes, I guess I am whining. LOL!
Why does it seem like other people make it through this process so quickly, and others take forever. I really wanted to have this surgery on or by my birthday in October but it doesn't seem like it is going to happen. I guess I'm just venting.. and on the verge of giving up.
7 Minutes..
Jul 07, 2009
Well.. I went to the dietitian appt yesterday.. And let me start off by explainng.. i have been sick since Wednesday and I moved on Friday/Saturday... Sunday night into Monday morning, I had to work... and it was my turn to work late so instead of working until 3am, I had to work until 5am.. I made it home by 5:45 or so... went straight to bed. At Noon, I had a phone appt with Health Partners, that lasted about 30 minutes. I told myself, I can lay down and catch an hour nap and wake up and head to my last appt with my dietitian. Well... I was exhausted and I am still sick, so I overslept by like 30 minutes.. I woke up and made a mad dash for the door... trying not to be late.. Well.. I make it there.. 7 minutes late for my appt... 7 MINUTES people... I see my dietitian.. and all is going well.. (except for my weight.. but I knew that... but I was still down since the last time she saw me)... and her and I are discussing the changes that I have made and I presented her with a month or so worth of food charts.. and she tells me.. "as far as I am concerned, you are done... you making great progress"..... BUT.... "because you were late and I didn't go over your reference book with you AGAIN.. I think you should have another visit with me"... 
Yup, that did it folks.. I thought I was going to lose it.. It's a reference guide.. and we've already talked about what's in it.. and what to expect after surgery.. and all this stuff... So, now I'm pissed.. because she told me that I was done with meeting her and that I was making great progress and she sees that I am making changes... so just because I was 7 effin minutes late, I have to have another 30 minutes to an hour appt? WONDERFUL! And yes, I know.. I was late.. and it's my fault.. but it was 7 minutes.. So, fine.. I suck it up and move on... and then I get to the desk to schedule the next appt... AUGUST 24TH!!! WTF! Damn near 2 months away. She has taken over someone else's workload along with her own so she is extremely backed up with appts. So.. here's how this WOULD have went.. this should have been my last dietitian appt and then July 27th, see the shrink... and then I would have been done. It would have been ready to send to the insurance for approval...Once the surgery was approved... the surgery date is about 2 months from that... (because the doctor is extremely backed up as well..) So I would have maybe been looking at Octobed for a surgery date.. Well... 7 minutes just set me back 2 months. Now, I will have to see her again.. and hope that she finds nothing else wrong at the end of August and then hopefully by September, it'll get sent to insurance for approval.. So maybe by December. but that's holiday season so that probably will push it out to the beginning of next year 
And don't get me wrong, I am very thankful to have this opportunity and the chance to get this far and to possibly get this life changing surgery done but this is killing me. All because we didn't rediscuss what we've already discussed. I'm a little... a lot frustrated.. Unfortunately, there is no one else to blame for 7 minutes but myself..
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Yup, that did it folks.. I thought I was going to lose it.. It's a reference guide.. and we've already talked about what's in it.. and what to expect after surgery.. and all this stuff... So, now I'm pissed.. because she told me that I was done with meeting her and that I was making great progress and she sees that I am making changes... so just because I was 7 effin minutes late, I have to have another 30 minutes to an hour appt? WONDERFUL! And yes, I know.. I was late.. and it's my fault.. but it was 7 minutes.. So, fine.. I suck it up and move on... and then I get to the desk to schedule the next appt... AUGUST 24TH!!! WTF! Damn near 2 months away. She has taken over someone else's workload along with her own so she is extremely backed up with appts. So.. here's how this WOULD have went.. this should have been my last dietitian appt and then July 27th, see the shrink... and then I would have been done. It would have been ready to send to the insurance for approval...Once the surgery was approved... the surgery date is about 2 months from that... (because the doctor is extremely backed up as well..) So I would have maybe been looking at Octobed for a surgery date.. Well... 7 minutes just set me back 2 months. Now, I will have to see her again.. and hope that she finds nothing else wrong at the end of August and then hopefully by September, it'll get sent to insurance for approval.. So maybe by December. but that's holiday season so that probably will push it out to the beginning of next year And don't get me wrong, I am very thankful to have this opportunity and the chance to get this far and to possibly get this life changing surgery done but this is killing me. All because we didn't rediscuss what we've already discussed. I'm a little... a lot frustrated.. Unfortunately, there is no one else to blame for 7 minutes but myself.. Stupid Scale
Jun 30, 2009
Ok... so I stepped on the scale... and I am back up to 325 
Wtf!! I swear things just keep getting worse.. I'm not even sure how that happened... What really takes the cake is, I have to see my dietian next Monday for what is supposed to be our last visit.. but after she sees that my weight isn't moving, I'm sure that she is going to make me see her again.. which sucks because she is probably one of the rudest people that I have met in a really long while. So now.. i'm pissed... and worried... Anyone know how I can lose 10 pounds by next Monday? LOL I know, not possible. This is just going to make this process even longer.. I could almost see the line... and then I tripped.. This will probably add another month and a half to the process.. You ever just want to be done already?
Anyhow, on a different and better note.. I got a gym membership and for the first month, I just wasted my money because I didn't go. I was too embarassed to go. Well, one of my friends from work decided that she would take that matter into her own hands.. She joined the same gym that I did (she doesn't really need it) so that she could be my workout partner. When we first went, which was only a week or two ago, I did 15 minutes on the elliptical (because I couldn't do it any longer), 10 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the bike. We went this week.. and I have to say.. thanks to Amy (my co-worker) who wouldn't let me give up... for the last 2 nights, I have pushed out 35 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the bike and we walked that track for 15 minutes! And we managed to do this after working 10 hours days. I'm kind of proud of me. She's not working tonight and I am, so I probably won't go to the gym.. but I feel motivated so... 30 minutes on WII Fit stair stepper will be my activity for today. Gotta keep it moving!
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Wtf!! I swear things just keep getting worse.. I'm not even sure how that happened... What really takes the cake is, I have to see my dietian next Monday for what is supposed to be our last visit.. but after she sees that my weight isn't moving, I'm sure that she is going to make me see her again.. which sucks because she is probably one of the rudest people that I have met in a really long while. So now.. i'm pissed... and worried... Anyone know how I can lose 10 pounds by next Monday? LOL I know, not possible. This is just going to make this process even longer.. I could almost see the line... and then I tripped.. This will probably add another month and a half to the process.. You ever just want to be done already? Anyhow, on a different and better note.. I got a gym membership and for the first month, I just wasted my money because I didn't go. I was too embarassed to go. Well, one of my friends from work decided that she would take that matter into her own hands.. She joined the same gym that I did (she doesn't really need it) so that she could be my workout partner. When we first went, which was only a week or two ago, I did 15 minutes on the elliptical (because I couldn't do it any longer), 10 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the bike. We went this week.. and I have to say.. thanks to Amy (my co-worker) who wouldn't let me give up... for the last 2 nights, I have pushed out 35 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the bike and we walked that track for 15 minutes! And we managed to do this after working 10 hours days. I'm kind of proud of me. She's not working tonight and I am, so I probably won't go to the gym.. but I feel motivated so... 30 minutes on WII Fit stair stepper will be my activity for today. Gotta keep it moving!
Untitled
Jun 25, 2009
So I have been sitting here, reading about different people and reading everyone's story and watching approval/surgery dates come and go and God forgive me because as much as I am praying for you all, but I'm almost jealous. That's such an ugly thing to admit, but it's an even uglier way to feel. I hope yall forgive me.. We are all in this journey together. Some closer then others but we are supposed to uplift each other and not be haters and I feel so guilty. It's not my time to shine, it's yours... and what bright shining stars you all are. There are so many positive and great people on here... I wish everyone the best and you are in my prayers.
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Being an addict
Jun 23, 2009
Last night, I was at work talking to my Sgt about having gastric bypass surgery and insurance and many more things and I made a comment about being an addict. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are all addicts. We have all been addicted to something that supposed to be a necessesity in life... and we've turned it into something that is essentially ruining our lives...and that's food. I myself have tried countless things to break my addiction, and I have been successful at none of them. Some of you may be reading this, wondering where I am going with it.. I am an addict and I will always be an addict. My addictioin to food is not much different then an alcoholics addiction to alcohol. I will always be an addict, however, I am choosing to change my ways and I hear that admitting that there is a problem is the first step to recovery... I also believe that a very large portion of the problem does not start with my month, yet it starts with my mind. It is no my body sending me signals that I am hungry, it is my mind... It's telling me that I am pissed/frustrasted/angry/sad/bored/lonely and that I should eat. I should eat to make all of those things go away.. But they don't. It's all mental. So, today... I challenge myself and all the other addicts out there... to not just change your way or eating... but to change our way of thinking as well. Anger does not mean I am hungry... stuffing my face will not cure my boredom... eating that bowl of ice cream will not take away my tears. With that said I will end my tangent by saying even though I will always been an addict, I don't have to act on my addiction. Eat to live.. not live to eat...
~I will continue to pray....
1 comment
~I will continue to pray....
Losing my motivation!
Jun 22, 2009
Lately I have been battling with my motivation to keep this process going... I know that nothing happens overnight but the waiting game kills me.. All these appointments... meet with this person, talk to that person, take this test... You jump through all these hoops and you still don't know if you are approved. Sometimes it's just....... discouraging.
On a different note, I had my second phone appointment with Health Partners today. 2 appointments down... 3 more to go. For anyone that doesn't have Health Partners insurance, they require that you have 5 phone appointments with a dietian and a "health educator" before surgery and 4 phone appointments after surgery. That's not including the 2 meetings with the dietian at the hospital, the meetings with the surgeon, the MMPI II and the meeting with the psyche. Hopefully, by the end of July, I will be done with all of my meetings and everything will be sent off to the insurance for approval.
I gotta keep the faith. This will all work out in the end. Not necessarily when I want it to work but when it is supposed to happen, it will. Keep praying.
1 comment
On a different note, I had my second phone appointment with Health Partners today. 2 appointments down... 3 more to go. For anyone that doesn't have Health Partners insurance, they require that you have 5 phone appointments with a dietian and a "health educator" before surgery and 4 phone appointments after surgery. That's not including the 2 meetings with the dietian at the hospital, the meetings with the surgeon, the MMPI II and the meeting with the psyche. Hopefully, by the end of July, I will be done with all of my meetings and everything will be sent off to the insurance for approval.
I gotta keep the faith. This will all work out in the end. Not necessarily when I want it to work but when it is supposed to happen, it will. Keep praying.
About Me
MN
Location
26.6
BMI
Surgery
10/05/2009
Surgery Date
Jun 12, 2009
Member Since
