I don't have the typical story line: fatty grows up with low self-esteem, fatty gets picked on, fatty never gets the cute guy, fatty attempts suicide because she can't fit into a size 6. Nope... Not me.
Don't get me wrong, life has been NUTS at times; but I've never felt ugly or less-than, just for being overweight.
Okay, so I'm about 6 feet tall and 300+ pounds. I know, I know; for a girl that's BIG.
Most would be shocked that I'll rock short skirts, girl-fit band t's and vintage swing dresses... or halter tops and espadrilles.
It's just that, I've never let society's fleeting standard of beauty influence me in the slightest.
Come to think of it, I've never let society deeply influence me at all.
I was the punk rock girl at the back of the school bus; cussing with my brothers and sneaking prose into my notebook.
...I've always been different than most people.
When I was born, I weighed nearly 3 pounds. Yep; Scary. I wasn't supposed to make it, but God had other plans for me.
I grew up in the era of synthesizers and aqua net. I was an active, average sized kid who (although gloomy) believed in magic.
I would look for it where ever I was. The first time I felt that magic, was when I discovered my favorite music.
I fell in love with Rock N' Roll (predisposed by my father) at age 4 1/2. I'll never forget the day my dad put those clunky, lime green headphones on my small ears, and played "Light My Fire" by The Doors. The signature guitars, velvety vocals and classic percussion might have escaped me at the time- but that [instantly recognizable] infectious little keyboard intro hooked me for life. Since the very beginning, I've had to have my music fix.
(Slight Music Tangent)
The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Sam Cooke, Budd Holly, Dion And The Belmonts, Madonna, The Doors, Johnny Cash, Bob Marley, and Bruce Springsteen were the very beginning for me. They paved the way for Nirvana, The Clash, Bikini Kill, L7, The Pixies, The Ramones, Social Distortion, UB40, and Billy Idol... Which eventually lead me to The Spooky Kids, The Misfits, Agnostic Front, Jack Off Jill, NOFX, Warzone, Rancid, Desmond Dekker, Murphy's Law, AAA, The Cure, Siouxsie And The Banshees, The Sisters of Mercy, Ali Campbell, The Nekromatix, and (my home state's) Against Me. My Music! If I wasn't listening to it or singing it; I was writing about it or completely immersing myself in it. Live music venues, dancing, and underground clubs. Music made me shine. It allowed me to make friends easily using what I knew and loved. I was (and still remain) an Encyclopedia of Music... and a huge music nerd.
I've always found that although I was bigger than most girls; I was also smarter, cooler, out of the ordinary, and (in my opinion) sorta pretty.
Deep inside, the only thing that matters to me is being REAL. I'm eloquent, [respectfully] opinionated, good-hearted, and passionate about my beliefs. I will take a bullet for someone that I love, and I will fight bare knuckled for what I believe is right. I am passionate and completely certain in my faith, and I care about others. Although I have been wronged and stifled; I have survived and try to use myself as a catalyst for positive change around me. I try to touch lives with love because I believe that love conquers all.
Life's been a long ride; and it is far from over. Life's had some hard battles too. Experimentation and Musical Obsession.
Vintage collecting and pet loving. STRICT LOYALTY (UNITY CORE), Truth, and the quest for knowledge never ending...
I always try to lead by example... and though I'm fearful about surgery, I want to influence loved ones (mainly my mom) to do good for themselves by just being brave and determined... and whole-heartedly believe.
I believe that pursuing WLS has brought me here, yes... but magic has also lead me to this point... to alter my life... and perhaps alter yours too.
My father passed in 2007 of complications with diabetes. It still hurts like yesterday.
He was my twin in many ways, so I am doing this to honor him. To continue his legacy.
To do all the things he couldn't do because he died too young (58.)
So that I could do everything he believed I could do. ...To make sure I don't die young.
I’m doing this to make him proud.
I love you daddy.
"Rockin N Rollin, and Kickin Ass."
Your Baby Girl,