AndiT
I don't know that my story is any different than anyone else's here. I have always been big. I recall pictures of me as a small child in a paddling pool with a pudgy bulging tummy. I was called fatty in elementary school and missed out on activities and opportunities in middle and high school because I was too heavy or couldn't fit into costumes or uniforms.
I have tried various things like pills, going to the gym with girlfriends (only to be made fun of by thinner people), Weight Watchers, considered Jenny Craig but the cost was too much, starving myself because I didn't deserve to eat, trying to purge after I ate... I've tried a lot.
My weight packed on slowly but steadily after I got married and toward the end of my marriage, my butt became a fat magnet. My husband was not very supportive and in fact, in hindsite, I think he sabotaged my weight loss often. Not blaming him, but when you are very obvious about dieting and ask for sweets not to be brought in the house, and he buys and leaves a bag of oreos on the counter... come on.
In 2004 I fractured my L4, according to the orthopedic surgeon, because I was too fat. The pain of activity and need to be immobile while it healed did not help matters and that is when the vicious cycle of rapid weight gain began. It hurt to move, so I wouldn't. Some days were good, so I would move a lot and cause my back to hurt, which would have me sitting on my but for weeks, doing nothing. As weight packed on, my back hurt more, the less activity I was able to do and so on.
In 2007, weighing over 400lbs, I got pregnant, a feat I was CERTAIN was impossible. The pregnancy was difficult and high risk but I carried to full term. At 40 weeks I had preeclampsia, my blood pressure was all over the place and I was so bloated parts of my thighs were actually weeping. My delivery was induced and turned into an emergency C-section because the baby's cord was around his neck. 2 days later my lungs shut down and I was in a coma in the ICU with ARDS. During the 6 weeks I was in the coma, I was tube fed and a LOT of weight came off. I remember after I woke up, and was moved to a regular recovery room, looking down at my calves and ankles and actually seeing my ankle bones. Thankfully my diet was controlled while I was in recovery, but once I was released weeks later to go home, depression set in over the realization of what happened to me.
Needless to say, it's been a long a rough road and in my recovery since my son's birth, my health has taken many hits and my weight has now ballooned to over 500 lbs. I actually do not know what I weight right now, because I cannot bear to see the numbers on the scale. I am hoping to have VGS surgery and get this monkey off my back so that I can move forward, regain my health and be an awesome mom to my son, rather than one who sits and watches life fly by without me.
