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One day I might want to remember these NSVs, I might need a pick me up, I might want to tell someone the whole story, I don't know - right now it feels like I should document this!

Today I had another NSV, at 4 weeks post-op, already some of my clothes aren't fitting - yippe! I pulled three big tubs of "maybe they'll fit again one day" clothes out of my storage closet and guess what - A LOT OF THEM FIT! Now I have plenty of things left that still don't fit, that's for sure, but several old favorites (that aren't woefully out of style) can now go back into rotation. And best of all? Last year I bought this adorable blue and teal dress on clearance for like $8 at Kohl's without trying it on and, of course, it turned out to be too tight - but not today, no, no, no - today it looked adorable! I think I'll wear it to work one day this week.

It was a good day.

At this time, 1 month ago, I was in the OR, already asleep for more than 2 hours, in the middle of my RNY. What a month it has been. I don't feel 100% yet, but I'm already feeling the love for my decision. I'm 20 pounds since surgery and 45 pounds down total since the beginning of the process. I'm also down from an Extremely Obese BMI to just plain old Obese, which sounds like a win to me for sure. 

I've felt nothing but support in my decision to have WLS and I'm so incredibly grateful for how "easy" my road has been so far. From so many great programs to choose from to my family's crazy support to breezing through insurance approval and more. I've only had one person respond with a WLS horror story when I told them of my decision and after discussing the real stats she came around. What a blessing this has been. I can't wait to continue the journey and see where I will take myself next!

I am so weepy. Like all the time. For the last few days it hit around 8pm, but right now I'm sitting at my desk at work trying not to cry. I'm not sad, I didn't just staple my finger by mistake, I'm just weepy and it sucks!

Oh my, what a shit day. That's all there is to it. It's gloomy and raining, my abdomen is hurting (not like I need to call the surgeon, just achey), shark week has begun, it was approximately 400 degrees inside the library (even though the temperature dropped dramatically outside), and my poor little Pip, niece number 2, just 5 months old, is having some major health issues. I'm sitting here feeling crappy and emotional and wanting my mom. But I have found a silver lining - this day isn't ending in a pint of ice cream, or an entire pizza, or huge bowl of mac and cheese, but in testing a new protein shake flavor (ehhh, not loving the double stuffed cookie, might need to find some recipes to doctor it up) and some reading here to get that community feeling. Oh the difference a few months makes. 

For someone who is normally not even eating one cup of food in one day, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about food. Not longing for it - just thinking about what I'm going to try next, how I'll prepare it, when I'll prepare it, how the stats are, does it have enough protein?, what will I bring to my family's Easter dinner?, when should I try to eat next?, liquids!? OMG, I haven't been sipping enough today.

I make grocery lists like they're going out of style and I'm just shopping and cooking for myself, I'm single - I don't even have a family to worry about feeding.

Intellectually I know this won't be all consuming forever, but right now...geez!

I've been able to hear the ice cream truck for exactly an hour now. I've never actually gotten ice cream from an ice cream truck, but the music does constantly make me think of ice cream and it's making me batty! Perhaps it's time I try one of those protein ice cream recipes...

I've only lost .5 pound in the last two days. I know I shouldn't say only - any time the scale is moving down is a victory as far as I'm concerned - but normally I wouldn't update the Health Tracker for .5 pound, but... it felt so good this morning to be .5 down and see my "Pounds to go" move from triple to double digits! 

I updated my health tracker this morning and I'm exactly 100 pounds from my goal weight of 155. Weighing 155 would finally, finally put me in the normal BMI range. It would mean that I weighed less than I have since I was in middle school - I would bet. It would be success to me. But the best part of seeing that 100 on my tracker? I totally thought to myself, "Well, that's doable." And it is if I use my RNY as the tool that it is and I'm so excited to be feeling better and better. 

My aunt, uncle, and I went to visit my 92 year old grandmother today. As she would say, we "went up the country" to the area where she was born and her family lived and farmed. We drove all around, told stories, and laughed a lot.

It also was the first test of being away from home or home conveniences for a whole day for me and my pouch! But I did well. I took my protein shakes, extra water, vitamins, and two 1/4 cup "meals" in case where ever we stopped didn't have a good choice for me. Well, it turned out it was fine - a side dish of cottage cheese was perfect - well at least 4 times as much as I could eat but whatever.

I did have a tiny bite of my aunt's teaberry ice cream, but I knew that wasn't the beginning of a slippery slope - teaberry ice cream brings back childhood to me and isn't something you can get anywhere remotely close to where I live now and the thought of dumping meant I wasn't going to have more than the little tiny bite - so I wasn't worried. But that tiny bite did taste good and bring back great memories. That was the first time I've "cheated" in any way, but I don't even feel like it was anything to be concerned about.

My aunt and uncle are both super-morbidly obese and I was so nervous to tell them about my surgery, but they've been great supporters. As they told me, at 30+ years my senior, they know the effects being obese can have on your health, life, and quality of life. I'm so grateful for their support and love right now. And honestly seeing their mobility issues just continued to cement why I'm on this WLS journey!

Today I realized that I had to move my FitBit bracelet to the next tighter hole - it was way too loose!