The Fill that happened...

Sep 04, 2010

I got my first fill yesterday.  I was so incredibly nervous.  Needles bother me, so even though I KNEW it wasn't really going to be a big deal, I had some serious anxiety on the way there.  Luckily my husband went with me, so he drove the 1 hr. 45 minutes to the doctor while I freaked out and then finally dozed a little (and my anxiety dropped a lot).  When we got there, the anxiety came back but much smaller.  So, of course, my blood pressure was high when I went there like it always is.  Even the traffic stresses me out.  I love my doctor, but I really wish he was much much closer to me.

Anyway, he had me lay down and push my ab muscles.  He stuck the needle in, and I barely felt the pinch, just like my head knew I would.  Then as he put the saline in it, I could feel it constricting my stomach on the inside!  I didn't expect to be able to feel that.  He finished, took out the needle, and I drank some water.  It was pretty much just sitting in my esophagus, so he had me lay down and it started to come up. He put the needle back in and took some out and I could feel it open a bit.  Then he had me sit up with the needle still in my tummy and OMG I sorta felt like I was going to faint.  I took a deep breath, and then I drank while he adjusted it.  I never looked at the actual needle, though I did see the plunger before and after I felt sorta woozy.  Then he was done and it was out and I was fine.  

Yesterday and today I have been on the liquid diet again.  I think it's really good for me, like starting over again after eating poorly for two weeks.  For the most part I'm not starving.  I wish I had the ability to put myself on the liquid diet now and then.  Unfortunately, it's really hard to want to do that to myself!  It might have helped by itself if I had done it when I came home from Vegas.  Anyway, so far so good from the fill.  Apparently it ended up as about 3 ccs. 

My TOM is around again, and I"m realy sick of the differences I've developed.  I kinda liked not having it at all or barely.  Now, I have no idea how strong it will be, sometimes I'm skipping it, but either way having way more serious PMS issues.  I'm super super tired and keep getting terrible headaches. I suppose it could be worse, but I wish the birth control I use helped it more. 

Oh well, it's the next chapter and I'm hoping my first fill helps me back into control.

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