Dodgergirl27
Month 4
May 22, 2014
Well, I'm down 83.6 lbs since the morning of surgery. That makes me extremely happy. I can't believe 4 months have flown by. This is such an exciting time, I feel like I'm re-gaining my life in a way I honestly never thought possible. It's amazing how weight can be such a mental and emotional prison. There have been some bumps in the road (constipation and dumping) but those pale in comparison to all of the scale and NSV I have had since surgery. I'm currently in a size 16 and can't wait to keep going down (I even fit into 1 pair of size 14 pants). I stress endlessly about the honeymoon period and taking advantage of this time after surgery. That being said, I also have to remind myself this is a journey and it's not all going to come off over night (although it certainly felt like that month one and two). My weight loss seems to have slowed considerably from those first months, and in fact this week was my first full week stall (I'd had 4 day stalls before, but never a full 7). That of course sends me into panic mode, and all of my old thinking (pre-surgery) where I worry this isn't going to work comes flooding back. I really have to fight that,because clearly this is working. I think it's really easy to get sucked into a defeatist mindset due to years of failing when it came to my weight. So on top of my food "journeys" and my daily menu obsession (cal/carb/protein counts are what I have replaced food with it seems), I really need to work on the mental journey as well.
On that note, I have to remind myself I can't force my body to lose weight. I have two goals that are really important to me, but I'm going to try and keep everything in perspective. In August, I'm going to WI to visit my best friend. He's a total health nut and has only ever known me as MO. I really want to get off that plane and walk up to him at a healthy weight. In my dream world I'd be in Onederland, but I'm not sure that's going to happen in 2 1/2 months, so I'm hoping to be below 220 at the very least. In October, I have my cousin's wedding. I do want to be in Onederland then, and I really just want to wear a beautiful dress and feel feminine and girly and not what I've felt for so many celebrations and wedding's in the last 10 years where I'm only buying outfits to hide and cover myself. I secretly want the wedding to be a celebration of all of the hard work and dedication that I have put into this and will continue to put into this. And of course, I want to celebrate my wonderful cousin and his beautiful new wife :) So, I'll keep you posted, but I do have 2 big goals to look forward to and keep me focused and on plan.
As far as the weight loss journey, I do see lots of opportunity for bad food choices to sneak back in. In some ways, I think dumping was a gift, b/c it kept me from my worst intentions and impulses. Luckily, I think I have broken my bad habits and am on my way to a healthier me. Still, I can see where it will be a constant battle and something that I will always need to be mindful of.
Finally, I just want to encourage any newbie to check in with OH regularly. This site, and all of the wonderful and supportive people who you can come here and share your success and struggles with, is truly invaluable to me. I think this whole process would be so much more lonely and nerve wracking if it weren't for the great advice I receive here each day. Thanks to my OH family for all of your great advice and support thus far. I look forward to the next 4 months and beyond with you all.
