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So this is the type of update that most wouldn't want to post.  I'm 3 years out from vertical sleeve gastrectomy.  I started at about 403 lbs.  I got down to a low of 253 during the summer of 2011.  Over the last year or so I've gained weight.  I'm back up to 300.  It's disappointing, but there's nobody to blame.  This year has been rough I won't lie.  My dad passed away in November of 2011. My very dear sister-friend died in March of 2012. One of my dogs and her pups died in July. There has been a lot of loss.  The loss brought about a lot of grief and depression.  I had my very first panic attack in August of 2012.  It scared me and my husband and daughter.  I was off work for a while to work through it all.  While I was focusing on healing emotionally, the weight loss effort took a back seat.  As a result, I've gained.  I honestly never thought I'd see the 300 lb mark again.  I'm a bit ashamed and a bit embarrassed.  

I have also been dealing with some female issues.  In January, I will probably be having a hysterectomy.  My plan is to get my butt back in gear after the holidays.  With the surgery, I'll be down recovering for a bit, but then I plan to pick up and continue.  I need to get the weight back off and believe in myself that it can be done.

I also have plans of starting school again.  Online courses, working toward a degree in digital design...at least that's my current thought.  I'm still thinking things through so we'll see.

I am proof that weight gain after surgery is possible and that surgery is not a cure all.  It does not take away the emotional issues.  

I need to get back in the game!

Hard to believe I'm already two years post op VSG.  Time flies.  In the last year, my weight loss has pretty much been non existent. It seems as though I've learned how to maintain.  I had gotten into the 250's.  That's still a lot and is actually the starting weight for many people who seek out surgery.  However, I started at 403 so being in the 250's felt pretty small to me.  I was living again, doing so much more than I could ever do before.  My knee pain was gone.  I could actually start to jog...just a little.  I'm not a runner. I really don't care to be one. However, if I have to run, I want to be able to run.  For some reason being around 255 felt just fantastic to me.  I don't know if I have a hidden fear of being below 200 or what. Perhaps?  Something seems to have kept me from pushing this year. 

In the last couple months I've gained 20 lbs.  In October, I learned that my dad had been dealing with lung cancer for a year and that it had recently metastisized to his brain.  My dad was living for a year battling lung cancer and I never knew about it.  Part of me was upset. Another part of me was grateful at least that I found out before it was too late.  My dad passed away on November 10.  I still have a hard time believing he is gone.  I'm an orphan now. My mom passed away in 2006.  In my opinion, both of my parents were much too young. My mom was only 56 and my dad was 61.  I miss them both.  Holidays have been difficult since my mom passed.  This year will be (IS) difficult with my dad being gone.

I thought I had healed from emotional eating. But considering I've put on 20 lbs in two months, I'm thinking there is still some of it going on.  That combined with the fact I haven't been exercising regularly makes for easy weight gain.  Amazing how simple it is to put weight on but how terribly difficult it is to take it off. 

I go for my 2 year post op appt today.  I'm a little nervous to be honest.  My fear is that they'll say "you always have the option of getting the RNY".  I will definitely feel like a failure if I hear those words.  I also have an appt to see the exercise physiologist today. He's going to help me develop a program I can follow at the gym.  I have to get going on the weight loss again.  I still could use to lose at least 100 lbs.  I want to get below 200.  I want to be fit and toned. I want to be even healthier! 

I'm working through emotional healing. 

My goal at this point is to continue with the emotional healing as well as finding balance again.  Without balance, I'm stumbling.  Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit...that harmonious balance is what I'm seeking.

Peace - Love - Smiles
Merry Christmas. ♥

Technically, I have another week before I'm 14 months, but anyway.  I don't get out here to OH too often...I should try to do better with that because there are quite a bit of people out here.  I spend time on YouTube and I also have a facebook account. Look for Dottie May if you are interested in friending me there. 

I've been in a weight loss stall now since November.  Crazy!! I know.  I'm not sure exactly why.  My weight fluctuates between 253 and 257 it seems.  I haven't been able to break out of the 250's yet.  I'm exercising 5 to 6 days a week, eating right and getting my water in.  The only thing I can figure is that perhaps I actually need to add more calories due to all the added exercise.  I was starting to get really frustrated with the weight too.  But then I got on my scale that measures body fat and muscle and discovered that my body fat has gone down 3 points and my muscle has gone up 1.5.  Plus, I'm feeling good so I'm not letting the weight on the scale dictate my success. 

NSV - Saturday, we went snow tubing and I actually participated!  I had such an incredible time...SO MUCH FUN!!!  I definitely want to go again.  We went as a family and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I posted a video on YouTube even.  Interested in seeing it?  Check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH65GrKaq-g.   That evening when I got home, and actually put the video together and watched it...I cried.  I was so emotional seeing myself actually participate.  Tears of joy of course.   I'm just so excited that I didn't have to sit on the sidelines and watch...I participated.

One of the best things about losing weight is gaining life and living!  I'm not just existing...I'm living and enjoying! 

I'm currently at 255 lbs.  My top weight was 403.  I've come a long way so far.  I'm still working hard and do not intend on giving up.  I want to reach onederland some day! 

Peace, Love and Smiles,

Dottie

Technically, I'm 1 week beyond my 1 year post op surgiversary.  I can't believe it's already been a year.  And what a difference a year makes!  I'm currently at 255 lbs.  I still have another 90 lbs to get to my goal of 165.  I know at 165, I'll probably still be considered slightly overweight due to my height (5'3").  However, I want to be toned and muscular so I'm going for 165.  Besides, 165 will be my lowest weight since high school so I won't complain.  I have 56 lbs to get to onederland.  I can't even believe it. 

I don't get out here to OH too often because it seems I'm busy on other sites like You Tube and Facebook.  You can find me as Dottie May on Facebook if you like.  I've found such fabulous support throughout all of these social networks.  I do not attend an in person support group. 

I'm exercising at least 30 minutes every day!  Yes, EVERY day.  I myself can't believe it.  A year ago...exercise was a four letter word that I'd rather not talk about.  But, now I love it.  I'm actually disappointed if I miss a day.  Winter time is a bit challenging finding activities that inside.  I can't afford a gym membership.  I have 4 or 5 DVDs that I do - switching it up because otherwise I will get bored.  I also have a weight bench and will be starting weight training regularly.  I also have a Wii Fit Plus and use that as exercise too. 

I'll be honest, I have had a few pieces of candy this Christmas season as well as a few cookies.  But I don't eat near the amount of junk food I used to.  When I eat meals, I use a cup size bowl or a small salad plate.  I eat protein first and then veg. Rarely I'll have a little carb, but most of the time I don't because I get too full on the protein and veg. 

I really enjoy the fact that food is not so important to me anymore.  I now eat to live.  It is my fuel and nothing more.  I do not overeat, I no longer do emotional eating.  I feel as though I've been completely cured of all of those negative eating habits of the past. 

When I do feel emotional and I do...I usually go for a walk and I take my camera along because I love taking photos.  

There have been some emotional ups and downs.  When I was really heavy, I had no self esteem or confidence. I was basically a door mat - easy to walk on.  However, now I've discovered my voice.  And I've learned that some people don't like it.  One of my friends has actually defriended me.  But, that's okay because I don't have time for pettiness and drama.  I've learned that I make better friends with guys.  They will air their feelings and be done...they don't get all dramatic and petty.  I just don't like all the drama.  My best friend is a guy.  The funny thing too... each of my daughters best friends are also guys.  It appears that they too don't like all the drama.  I was looking at some old photos back from 8th grade and there I was pictured with 3 guys.  Apparently being friends with guys has always worked better for me, I just never really saw or realized it until recently. 

My husband has felt some insecurity.  I believe that stems from the fact he had an affair back in 2005.  He had gastric bypass surgery in 2002.  He did very well with it. In 2005, he crossed the line.  I'm pretty certain if I would've had any shred of self confidence, our relationship would've probably been over.  But, I didn't.  He did leave for a while and lived with THAT girl whom I thought was a friend...apparently NOT.  I was devastated and cried all the time.  My mom was also not doing well at the time. I vividly remember praying...please I don't want to lose both of them at the same time.  My husband realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side and came back apologizing.  February of 2006, my mom passed away.  So I guess...a prayer was answered.  It was very difficult losing my mom...but I didn't lose my husband.   Boy did I go off on a probably unnecessary tangent.  

I have a lot more confidence now and there have been little things between my husband and I.  For instance, he kept bugging about me wanting to exercise alone.  Exercise is my me time and that's how I wanted it.  But everytime I'd say I need to exercise, he'd say something or pout or whatever.  It really irritated me and was pushing me away.  I finally snapped one day and said "What is the big deal!"  I think I caught him off guard. He wasn't used to me voicing my opinion.  He better get used it though because this girl, she is learning who she is and finding comfort in it.  She's embracing her new self.  Life is getting better and better everyday. 

I am ever so grateful for choosing to have the surgery and health benefits I'm gaining from it.  I'm quite frankly a new person.  I'm excited to see what it will be like when I'm at goal.

P.S.  I'm now off all blood pressure meds and the metformin I was on!! 

Peace, Love and Joy to all,
Dottie

Ok, so technically I am 10 days shy of being 10 months post op.  I've been doing fabulously well.  My whole attitude about things in general have improved. My self-esteems/confidence have improved.  I'm feeling great!

My current weight is 266.  I've still got a good 100 lbs to lose to reach my personal goal.  It's funny, I'm currently at a weight where many people begin their weightloss surgery journey.  I'm feeling pretty wonderful at the moment.  But, I have lost over 130+ pounds so far so I guess that makes sense.

I get my water in (or try really hard).  My protein I have to believe is fine, although I'll be honest - I don't count anything.  I guess I'm a bit of a rebel girl LOL.  It's my opinion that writing stuff down is a good tool in the process to see where you need improvement; however realistically writing stuff down feels like work and I don't want my journey to feel like work.  Work is not something that I particularly enjoy so guess what...I want this to be fun.  I want to live and enjoy.  So that's what I do.  I make good choices with my food because I want my health and I want a shot at a long and happy life.  I stay focused.  I stay away from soda pop and sweets for the most part. I'll admit to having a small piece of chocolate now and than. I dub that the chocolate demon that visits at least once a month right along with Aunt Flo. :)  haha  I also don't eat a lot of bread or anything.  I eat proteins first and I exercise.  I'm doing things right and I've been losing pretty steadily for a while now - about 2 lbs a week.  I'm okay with that too.  I'll be posting an updated progress picture so you can see how far I've come.  I'm very proud of my accomplishments thus far.  Getting to know the new and improved me is quite the trip at times! 

I recently participated in the Walk from Obesity event held in my area.  I walked just over 3 miles.  Awesome!  I also had a personal goal of riding 10 miles on my bicycle before the end of season and I accomplished that last week.  10.8 miles as a matter of fact!  I love bicycling...out on the road, not the stationary kind. 

I'm doing this and having fun.  Thanks for visiting my page. 

It began on Thursday afternoon 7/15 - odd that it was my 7-month post op anniversary date.  Anyway, I don't know if it was caused by something I ate, drank or what.  But the pain was pretty dull and constant.  Friday morning I woke, and the pain seemed worse. Bad enough to keep me home from work. 

I called the surgeons office because anything out of the ordinary tends to make me nervous now since I've had the surgery.  It wasn't until 11:30 or so that someone finally got back to me.  After some questions and answers and such, they really didn't have an answer as to what was going on, but they told me to take Prilosec once a day and Pepcid AC twice a day for two weeks.  They said they'd call me on Monday to check on me.  I went straight to the store and got the meds.

It so happened that TOM also came for a visit around the same time so I didn't know if that could have been part of it as well.  But the pain was unfamiliar so thats why I called.

It's Monday now and the pain is no longer constant.  I do feel pain every now and then when I drink or eat...but not all the time.  The surgeons office did call me again and I told them this.  They told me to continue with the meds and call back if it gets worse or anything else comes up.  I hope I don't have to call them back.  I still don't know what the pain was and what caused it.  Puzzling??  If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment.

As for now, I'm doing better.  And I'm down another 6 lbs.  Yes!

Here I am, 7 months post op.  This month has been a bit of a challenge.  My weight hasn't really done anything but stalled out on me.  Which, I'm really not worrying about so much.  There's a reason for it and it's called lack of exercise.  Aside from two nights ago, I haven't exercised in a good couple weeks.  I was sitting here and trying to understand why I'm not moving or actually lacking the energy.  I think it's a combination of things quite honestly.  First, it's been extremely humid around here and that seems to just knock me on my butt...strips my energy and I don't want to do much of anything!  But the other thing is that I'm supposed to be on a thyroid medicine and I ran out of those pills about a month ago.  At that time I didn't even have enough money to get the refill so I've been going without those for about a month.  I take them for an underactive thyroid.  I did just get the refill Sunday and have started taking them again.  So between the humidity and not getting those pills in - I think that's what's to blame for my lack of activity.  And maybe a bit of laziness too.

I've tried a protein bar recipe that I got from my You Tube friend gastricrose.  They weren't bad.  Here's the video for that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JDtSLqywYg&playnext_from=TL&videos=eWwUzzwGoJE.   She also shared her quick breakfast as well and I tried a version of that.  I didn't think of it much as a breakfast, but it made for a mighty fine snack.  Here's what I did:

1/2 cup cottage cheese
3 oz. honey vanilla greek yogurt (Yoplait brand is what I used)
2 spoons of blueberry preserves.

Mix it up.  Enjoy.  This snack provides 18 grams of protein.  The blueberry preserves made this a very nice sweet treat!  I really enjoyed it.  Gastricrose used Apricot preserves and I'm not sure which flavor of greek yogurt she used, but it was Yoplait brand. She also mentioned it was good with Strawberry preserves.  She used the sugar free preserves.  But I didn't because I have found that many of the artificial sweetners make me sick.  So I just either stick with regular cane sugar or I use Stevia. 

I do fine with getting in the protein (via food) and stay away from bread most of the time.  However, on occasion I do have a breakfast sandwich, which is made with an english muffin, ham, egg and cheese.  I can actually get through the entire sandwich now; however, it takes me about 45 minutes or so and is cold by the time I'm done.  I've noticed I seem to be able to eat a little more now so I guess that means my stomach has increased a bit in size?  I still eat very little in comparison though.  I'm completely filled with 1 slice of pizza or 1 hot dog just to give you an idea.  I'm trying hard to keep the carbs at a very minimum because not only do they fill you up so much faster, but I DON'T want to fall into the carboholic routines again and risk gaining any weight back. 

The area I do need to work on still, all these months later, is getting enough fluids in.  Plain water isn't tasty enough for me.  So I usually drink Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero.  Or I'll have lemonade or ice tea.  But I still am only getting about 40 oz of fluid in a day and it's just not enough.  Thinking I need to cut back on the food and up the water.  Yup, 7 months later and I'm still working to balance my food and water.

On another exercise note, I bought myself a jump rope and I also have a new bicycle so I'm planning to kick up the exercise and hope for a better 8 month post op report! 

My weight this morning:  290.5 lbs.

Love and peace to all.  If you read this, leave a comment.  I don't get out here much but if I know that someone is out here, I might visit more :)

Dottie

I can't believe 6 months has gone by already.  I had my 6 month post-op appointment yesterday and everything is going so well.  All my labs were good. Blood pressure was fine.  The only thing I was told was to drink more water. Admittedly, I'm not the greatest at that.  I'm down 82 lbs since surgery.  I've lost 54 lbs of fat alone.  That's awesome in my book.  My BMI has gone down 13 points.  I've lost 13 inches in the waist and 6 from the hips. 

I'm doing well and I'm loving it.  I've started riding my bicycle again which I absolutely LOVE doing!  And I'm glad it doesn't cost money :)   Just yesterday, my daughter was using her Skip-It and I thought I'd try.  I did it!  So fun...and I felt so silly too.  I had her record a video which I'll be posting to my You Tube channel when I get a chance.  If you are interested in finding me on You Tube, go to http://www.youtube.com/dottiemay71   I've been doing a few update videos and have found some great support there.  It's fantastic.

I'm currently entered into a weight loss contest through one of my You Tube friends (search for joshuad1000).  It's keeping me motivated although, things like being able to ride bike and do the skip-it are also great motivators.  It feels just fabulous to be able to do things I couldn't do before.  Truly wonderful feeling.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Dottie

Hi there!
I'm now 5.5 months post op already. Time flies.  I'm still hovering just below 300.  I really need to start exercising more, but I'm having a very difficult time getting going.  I don't know why, ok well maybe its because I've never liked exercise.  Nothing has changed that.  I just need to get moving and form a habit.  My wedding anniversary was Monday and my husband and I bought each other bicycles this year.  I'm pretty excited about that.  Now I just need to get out there and ride!  Of course, first I need to get a helmet before I go on any roads! 

I'm still losing hair and I don't like it.  I've added Biotin to my vitamin regimen, mainly because I've read that others have had luck with it.  We'll see.  The hair on top and sides is so thin that there isn't enough to even do anything.  So, I just wear a headband and deal with it.  I'll be glad when regrowth occurs. 

Aside from having difficulty getting the exercise going, everything else is going fine.  I have noticed that I can eat a little more now.  More normal portions even.  I still eat quite slow though.  My weight loss total from 2 weeks before surgery is about 83 lbs.  I guess that's pretty good...considering the lack of a real exercise regimen.  But from my highest weight ever recorded, I'm down 106 lbs.  That's pretty awesome.  Of course, I could use to lose another 130 lbs or so.  My doctor never mentioned a goal weight for me, but I'd like to see about 165.  Seems so far off yet.  I just celebrated my 39th birthday (or 29 as I like to look at it because 40 is the new 30 you know!).  So, I really would like to see that goal by my 40th birthday.  That'd be awesome.  I think it could be quite possible.  I've seen and read about those who've lost over 100 lbs in less than a year even. 

I just need to get my butt in gear and exercise!!

EXERCISE - EXERCISE - EXERCISE ----  I need to make it a habit! That's all there is to it.

Take care,

It happens to everyone at one point or another right?  It appears that my weight has decided to sit where it is for a while.  The last few weeks, I've been hovering between 298 and 300 and it really kind of bugs me.  Not so much that I've stalled, but at the point (or number) that it's chosen to stall around.  I'm eager to be below 300 and it just keeps toying with me it seems. 

I know I need to up the exercise now.  I think my body has become quite accustomed to my new stomach size and the amounts that I'm eating.  Unfortunately, the surgery didn't make me like exercise any more.  So, getting into a habit is going to be tough for me.  Got any ideas?  I get a little sick of things so I'll have to keep it varied I'm sure.  I was rather proud of myself the other day when I went for a walk and when I mapped it out afterwards, discovered that I walked a mile!  I couldn't believe it.  I didn't get winded or anything. It actually felt quite natural even.  Later that evening, I did 20 minutes of Wii Fit.  That was my first time on the Wii Fit as well so I was pretty proud of that too.

One thing I'm dealing with now is hair loss.  The bummer of it is that I started out with thin hair to begin with so it's looking VERY thin now and it bothers me at times.  I certainly hope it turns around and starts growing soon or I may need to resort to a wig. 

Well, that's about it for now. 

Take care,