eazes

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My husband was gone this weekend. I know what your thinking. I didn't skirt my responsibilities concerning exercise. I did work out. I'm just disappointed in myself when it comes to my intensity level. I know I'm finally getting over the flu. (I can breathe out of both nostrils YEAH!) So that could be a contributing factor or it may just be an excuse. I really don't know. I'm hoping that tonight I'll have the energy to get back to my normal intensity if not even harder. So far I've lost close to 40 lbs and who knows how many inches. I'm very impressed with my progress. Oh and I can now cross my legs! I'm so happy about that. I was sitting in my excercise class last night crossing my legs. I bet the ladies in there thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't stop smiling. I told my husband about it and he just looked at me. Silly man. I had to explain to him that I haven't been able to cross my legs without actually holding them there and being uncomfortable in years. Normally I don't cross my legs, I'm ashamed to say I sit like a guy, but now I'm going to cross them every chance I get because I can. I'm not sure what I'm going to do tonight. I really want to get into jogging but I need to get with my husband to find out the correct form. I know I can do it for atleast a short period of time but everytime I try to do it on my own my shins hurt. Because of this I stop soon because I don't want to hurt myself but I want to keep going. Maybe this weekend we can go jogging around the block. I'm hoping to survive jogging around the block before Thanksgiving. That's my mini goal to get to by the end of November. Tonight I'm going to drive around the block to measure it out and hopefully I'll be jogging it soon. And who know's I could be running around that block come January or even sooner! I'm very optimistic of my future. I've got to do some research because if I'm going to start doing this I've definitely got to get some new sneakers. Come to think of it that could be another reason why my shins hurt when I jog. I may need some good running sneakers. YEAH I get to go shopping!

The other day my husband was asking me why whenever he is not around I don't exercise. I do exercise when he's not around. I've finally gotten it through my head that not exercising when alone is not hurting anyone but me. He asked me this question because my weight kind of tapered off. I mean I'm losing but not as I was in the beginning. Don't get me wrong I haven't gained but that is the last thing I want. First being I WANT TO LOSE! Even though my weight has not gone down as fast as it was I have been losing inches like crazy. Especially around my waist where it is needed the most. I'm not going to lie I have been kind lax with what I am eating. Not that I'm not getting my protein in but I add other things to my plate that should be there.

Anyways the reason for this post is because he was right to a point. I was becoming complacent and that's not what I want. I want to stay dedicated and motivated until and after I reach my goal weight. I've worked so hard to get this point and I know I've got a lot of hard road ahead of me but I'm up to the challenge.

So I've revamped my eating habits. Started pushing myself more duirng exercises, and making sure I get enough water. How has it worked so far? Well I've lost 5 lbs since he asked me that question. I'm so happy that he is the way he is. I probably would not have noticed my behavior until it was too late. I thanked him for his observation and went on to gaze at myself in the mirror. (I've noticed I've become quite vain since surgery.) I'm sure I'll need few more kicks in the ass before I am through and that's ok. Hopefully I'll be able to catch myself before he does but if not I know I'll always have my watchdog behind me. LOVE YA BABE!

Thank you to all the well wishers out there. I know I was freaking out for no reason. It's just because when I get sick...I get sick! I hardly ever throw up but that was the only thing on my mind. I had no appetite but I made sure I drank some protein drinks to keep my protein intake up. Even that was hard. Finally today I am starting to feel myelf. I guess all that cold medicine worked. Don't worry I haven't forgotten all of you that kept me in your thoughts. I really hate getting sick.

So now I have approximately 1.5cc in my band. The little card I got when I was scheduled says it holds 10cc but I think I actually have a 4 cc. I have to find out about that. (Mental note) Anyhoo, so far so good. I'm able to stay full longer and I don't eat as much as I used to. Is this my sweet spot? Maybe. I may actually be one of the lucky ones that hit their's relatively early. We'll see how everything goes. I still have an appointment scheduled at the end of the month so if I need another fill I'll get one then. I'm hoping not but if I have to it's okay. My doc has gotten quite skilled in the art of band filling. :)

To update you on the ball happenings...For those of you that don't know this year my hubby and I are going to the USMC Birthday Ball. The actually birthday is November 10th. This will be the 2nd that I've attended in 9 yrs of marriage. Yeah I know I know. So far I've got all the essentials. All that's left is little things like my nails, hair, pedicure, and tailoring of my dress. That's right my dress is HUGE in the top but it was just to cute to pass up. I'm going to get it tailored at the end of the month. I'm so excited and can't wait until I see the final picture. I'm going to look GORGEOUS! If I say so myself.

I saw my testimony posted on my surgeon's website. (http://www.lowcountrybariatrics.com/Testimonials.aspx) I love that others can read my testimony but the only thing I don't like is that my name is misspelled. LOL No I'm not angry or anything. I actually started laughing when I read it. I thought to myself...Oh my testimony looks perfect with everyone else's. Hold up my name is misspelled. Silly Nurse Cathy. :)

Well for the latter part of this week I've been sick with the flu. I hate being sick but I'm kind of worried about it since I have the band. I know I should avoid puking and so far I have. I just haven't been able to work out because I'm experiencing major joint and muscle soreness. I'm hoping with this weekend of rest, cold medicine, and lots of vitamin C will help me overcome.

I was asked by my doc's nurse to write up a testimoney about my WLS and the journey after it. I am excited to do it but as I sat at my PC to type something I got writers block. I know what I want to say but for some reason I can't put it on paper. Now if you put me in front of a group I can prattle on about it forever. I want to tell everyone how great life is looking now that the black cloud of ever increasing weight is gone. For so long I've wanted to lose weight and nothing worked. I got to the point that I just didn't care. I was going to be this weight forever. It was affecting not only me mentally but my health, my family, and my marriage. How can one keep a happy marriage if one of the spouses is unhappy? Then one day it just clicked...I'm going to start taking care of myself and my self-confidence will trickle down to the rest of my life. I started eating healthier, doing things for myself to make me happy, and exercising. Ok well not always excersing but we're talking baby steps here. LOL Then one day I went to my primary doc and he suggested gastric bypass for weight loss. I knew that I didn't want to have that so I started looking into alternatives. On a side note I looked into this in the past but I just wrote it off because at the time I wasn't ready for that step but when my doc suggested WLS to me I knew that I wanted it but just not that surgery. Ok so back to my story...Something just told me I should look to see what my insurance covered and sure enough they covered the lap band. I started doing research on it and I knew it was for me. I contacted my doc to put in the referral through my insurance provider and bing bang boom...I was on my way through the process of having the surgery. When I first met Dr. McDevitt I thought he had a lot of energy. You could tell he loved his job and loved bringing joy to those who had hit rock bottom when it comes to losing weight. He's saved many people from taking handfuls of prescription meds and helped those before they had reached that point. He's very attentive and wants you to know that he's behind you 100%. I had my surgery on 6 August 2008 and since my surgery I've lost a total of 23 lbs. That number may seem low now but I know in my heart that it will go up and for the first time in my life I want to see a number increase.

On a personal note I say this to anyone who is thinking of having surgery...Do the research and come to the decision yourself. There will be people out there that have their own views. DO NOT LET THEM CHANGE YOUR MIND! You may read this and think oh I haven't reached that point yet and that's ok. I'm not here to change your mind to have surgery. I'm here to give you insight as to what you can expect if you do. I tell my story to anyone who asks. Look for me on OH.com. I'm on there everyday.

Ok so what do you think about my testimony?

My first fill probably scarred my doc for life but this second fill was quicker than going to the bathroom. LOL He put a wedge under my port side and had me tense up my adominal area. Next thing you know he was finished! I didn't even feel the needle go in. This time he gave me a more aggressive fill. So now I have a total of 1.5cc (1cc yesterday and .5cc 3 wks ago). I'm feeling fine. I noticed I had restriction when I started drinking my water. Last night when I had my liquid meal I actually got full! The last time that didn't happen. Maybe this one will stay with me. Well at least for a little longer than the first one. We'll see how everything goes.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my behavior and how I view myself. Don't get me wrong I've always considered myself as pretty in my own way. I may not be supermodel pretty to one person but to the next I might be Tyra Banks. As the years went on and I had my kids my weight increased and my perception of myself went down. Lately since being banded and loseing some weight I find myself gazing in the mirror thinking about how sexy I am and how no man can resist me. Even my hubby is slapping me on the butt. Even though I can't stand it, secretly I love it. (Don't tell him though) I feel like now I have a new outlook and finally the future is not so grim and dark. I see myself doing things that I would have never thought about in a million years. I want to go to an amusement park and ride some roller coasters. I want to go to beach/pool and play in the water. I want to take the time to work on me. I've started taking care of me and it feels good. Call me selfish, call me cold, call me anything you want...But just know when I answer I'll be looking good!

Okay this past weekend I was SORE! I was so sore that it was uncomfortable to walk. I didn't work out with my hubby because of the challenge but I did get 4 solid work out days in. It would have been more but battling soreness plus TOM was too much for my body. This week there are no excuses. I've got 33 days and 16 lbs to go before I hit my goal of 50 lbs lost before the ball. I know I can do it. As long as I try to lose 2-3 lbs in the upcoming weeks I can at least get close to 2-3 lbs off. It's not what I hoped but it's closer than I would have been motivated to lose before the band. If I'm lucky I'll have a great night and be able to reach my goal anyways. **WINK WINK**

Anyhoo, I'm so looking forward to whatever the instructor is going to have us doing today. What's funny is that last week we were doing some weight lifting with bodybars and bands and I could do those no problem. While everyone was searching for those really light weights I went for the 8/10 lbs weights and lifted those with ease. (Pat on the back) I guess those sessions with hubby are really starting to pay off.

Last night I made Curry Beef Stir-Fry. I thought it was good but my husband was kind of turning his nose up at it. I told him I just wanted to try something different. I never thought I'd say it and if someone asks me I'll say it was a typo but I'm getting sick of chicken and veggies. My kids ate the steak that was in it. They didn't care for the grilled onions and bell pappers but oh well...I ate well last night. Since it was kind of bulky I could only eat a cup of it but it was the best cup of food I've had in a long time. Tonight I'm going to make Turkey Meatloaf with Yam potato pieces. I haven't decided what our veggie is going to be but it will be a good one.

I've really got to step up my game in the world of cooking. I know that if I stay eating the same thing over and over again I'll end up straying when I want something different. My plan is to now on try 2 new recipes every week. Through this way I can find out what we all like and add that to my list of rotating dinners. The stuff I used to make is full of sodium and fat so I'm either going to have to find a way to cut all that out while preserving the taste or cut it out altogether. Either way we're going to have real dinners that are healthy.

Also to add...I don't care what my hubby says that meal was GOOD! If I could have eaten more I would have but thanks to my band that cup was more than enough.

HOLY CRAP!! It's only been 2 days of classes but I'm sore all over. I think the only body part that is not sore is my head. LOL My butt was killing me the other day. It hurt everytime I took a step. All I could think about was how I was going to look in my dress. The way they were "killing" us these couple of days I better come out looking like Naomi Campbell. LOL

Today is one of my days off but I did go to the gym today. I rode a bike and then I did some Hip Adduction exercises. They were quite relaxing actually. I just leaned back and let my legs do all the work. I really haven't been having much energy. I always feel so drained during TOM. I'm still trying to keep up my intensity while trying to ward off cravings for sugars and carbs. Just chewing my gum and drinking some water right now.

Tonight I'm going to take the kids to the movies. We're going to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua. They've wanted to see it ever since they saw the commercial. We're going to go to the drive in and they will have their popcorn and I'll have my water and everyone will be happy. Hopefully I won't fall asleep. I've had a very eventful week.