fawnlori

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After a few days in the hospital for dehydration and further testing, I finally found out today what's been causing my issues.  I do have an ulcer.  It is not perforated, though, so meds should fix it.  From what I have seen online, it's about a month for it to heal.  I'm down a lot more weight- total loss of 183 pounds now.  I am amazed with the progress and the changes in myself.  I had walked down the street to the store before the pain got too bad and hopefully I'll be back to that again soon.  I am down to a size 30/32 in Avenue and other "standard" plus sizes and have bought a few more things from Walmart.  I know from here, it will go fast and I'm excited- soon I'll be smaller than I was 20 years ago!  I've said goodbye to the 400 pound mark and I'm just 18 pounds from saying goodbye to the 300 mark.

I look in the mirror and barely recognize the person I see.  I have a neckline again and almost have a chin.  My stomach is shrinking as are my arms.  In some ways, I already look better than I did when I was this size before.  It's actually hard for me to buy new things because I don't think I am the size I am now.  I know that doesn't really make sense and it's hard to explain but I still see myself as almost 500 pounds.  Heck, that was me for a long, long time so it's not surprising it's taking a long time to get past seeing myself that way.

It's funny- before surgery, I dreaded getting on a scale, now I love it.  Before surgery, I hated to look in the mirror, now I look each time I pass one.  Despite the ulcer, I am so very glad I had this surgery and I am so thankful my surgeon did such a great job!

So the great fantastic wonderful news is that I am at the 6 mos point and officially down 150 pounds.  I can't believe it.  Typing this helps make it seem a little more real but it's a crazy thought- 150 pounds.  It puts me right on track for reaching my real goal weight. 

I've been dealing with what has all the markings of gall bladder problems- right upper quadrant pain, naseau, vomitting, heartburn, gas... but so far they have done an ultrasound and a HIDA scan and nothing has popped up.  They didn't do the CCK part of the HIDA scan so I'm getting that done and a CAT scan (couldn't do that a few months ago- I was too big!) and an endoscopy (to rule out an obstruction or ulcer) and hopefully when I go back to my surgeon in two weeks, we'll have some answers.  The lack of appetite is so bad at this point.  It's been only two weeks since I was in the office last and I lost 20 pounds.  Not minding the number, just the "method".

My surgeon is sure that when they do the CCK, they will find that the problem is my gall bladder.  He also mentioned that losing that much weight so fast is a shock to the system and it's possible there might be something else underlying.  I don't know, I'm just sick of living on pain medication, reglan, maalox, and nexium already.

One GREAT thing came from today's appointment- NO MORE CHEWABLES!  I can take regular vitamins.  If I don't have to taste them, you can be damned sure I'll be more compliant!!!

BTW- some other milemakers for the 6 mos point:
I fit in my driver side seat in my car- driving lessons next!
Down from a size 6x to 3x (roman's sizing... but I did buy one 5x JMS shirt at Walmart)
Down from a size 13W shoe to a size 12W
I can walk up and down stairs.
I can lie in the bathtub and get up :)  BATHTIME!
I don't need a scooter to go shopping!
I can tie my shoes and don't huff and puff just getting dressed :)
I ALMOST have a defined neck and chin :)

I'll add more as I think of them.

I weighed in today at my PCP's office and I am now down 105 pounds since starting the pre-op diet on 9/21.  AMAZING!!!!!  I FEEL AWESOME!!!!!

Honestly- even with the ups and downs of adjusting to foods and my limitations, I am more and more amazed with how much I CAN do.  I am definitely down from a 6x to a 5x and wearing 38/40W at this point as opposed to 44W prior to surgery.  I went out to the plaza today and was able to walk from one end to the other and that included about an hour in Radio Shack getting a new cell phone contract.  I walk up and down the steps to my house now and up and down the stairs inside the house.  It's just amazing!  It's these accomplishments that keep me focused even on days when I'm crampy and sore.

What an amazing one month check in!  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I would have lost so much so fast.  I took out a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear in a very long time a few days ago and left them out but couldn't get up the courage to try them... I did yesterday and they fit with room to spare!  I also made it up and down the steps in front of my house several times yesterday (they are very very steep) for the first time.  I am on my way and so ecstatic over all of this!

I am adjusting to things but I am having my share of food not settling well.  It's ok... I learn and move on.  Last week it was the cottage cheese that didn't work.  This week it was pork done as they suggested, blended with ff gravy.  But I was able to tolerate the cottage cheese today.  I guess what they say is right- if it doesn't work, wait a week and try again.

I am still not hungry but I really am missing chewing a mouthful of food.  Does that sound crazy?  The only "extra" I have had was to add 1/2 oz of baby food prunes to help with digestive issues but that is what my surgeon's book suggested.  I do hope that helps!  I am very much looking forward to Sunday when I can afford to go to the market and get some of the "free foods" such as sugar free popsicles and such just to TASTE things.  I was able to pick up some crystle light finally today.  I hadn't picked it up because it's iced tea and I was concerned with the caffiene only to find out it is caffiene free.  Figures!   I am hoping to fit in a visit to my dr's office some time this week to weigh in because I think once a week is healthy.  The dates on my log here are dates when I put it in, not when I weighed in.  It's been one week since I weighed in.

The good news is that I am now more than 50 pounds down :)  I was weighed on Friday and in just three days, I was down another 5 pounds and that was almost a week ago so I'm sure that I am now down more than 50.  I plan on checking the scale when I pick up some paperwork from my pcp later today.  My incisions are healing nicely and I'm thankfull that the two major complications- infection and leaks- seem to be clear for me now.  I am doing great phyiscally and WALKED TO THE CORNER yesterday!  OK, so it's only 4 houses ... but it's more than I have done in a long, long time and I can't believe I'm on my way!!!  My 19 yr old son gave me a hug :)

The down side... I just found out how miserable it feels when a food does not agree with you.  I am on phase two- pureed foods.  I did ok with the 1oz of scrambled eggs, great with tuna and great with mashed potatoes.  I tried a personal favorite today, cottage cheese, and spent the day in such horrible cramps that even water started it all over again :(  I finally called my surgeon's office and they told me to take some of my left-over vicodin.  I wish I did it hours before because the pain was gone immediately.  I had my son pick up some yogurt and some humus and we'll try those and scratch cottage cheese off the list for a while!

The weight loss is starting to show- my face already looks noticeably different to everyone- and my clothes are getting big on me.  I am so glad I did this!

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=O1062360933&NoStatic=1

Wow- sort of cool seeing many of the profiles I designed still up here :)

I had my surgery on Monday.  I ended up on a respirator for two days so I just got home Thursday night but I was very pleasantly surprised when I found out Wednesday they were able to do the laproscopic surgery on me :)

I am amazed at how I feel.  I had 2 oz of jello tonight and I was FULL.  Not that sickly stuffed, Thanksgiving dinner feeling, but full.  I've had my protein and I'm keeping a "journal" so to speak of the protein grams and vitamins during the day and keeping track of what protein I do and don't like.  So far, the Unjury Chicken Soup was absolutely disgusting, the protica citrus berry and and blue raspberry swirl were great.  I like them because they are 25g of protein in only 2.9oz so you get it in quick and easy and done with.  They were $2.99 each at CVS which is costly but for a quick "shot" I would guess not bad.

Other than taking the pain meds before I lay down so turning in bed doesn't hurt, I havent' had much pain at all and I'm just sort of euphoric to be on the Loser's Bench, now down 30+ pounds, and tolerating the diet just fine!

Thanks to all my OH buddies!!!!

Well, this is it.  My last shake is done and my bag is packed.  I am so thrilled and the excitement is starting to finally creep back in.  My surgeon just personally called me.  I can't believe it!  He was checking in to see how I'm doing and to make sure I knew when to get to the hospital and such.  He reasured me that everything will be fine.  I feel so lucky to have him as a surgeon and I know I am in very capable hands.  What a wonderful way to end my pre-op journey.  I'll see you all on the loser's bench :)

~Fawn