Laurien G.

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As of this morning, no change in my weight.  However, I did find out that my BMI has changed from 52.7 to 50.4!  I'm getting healthier and that's definintely something to celebrate.  

Today is a little on the frustrating side.  All day yesterday my son and I cleaned our house from top to bottom from 8:30am-12:30pm--So, literally ALL day.  I was sweating and exhausted by the end of the night.  I just knew when I woke up that I would have lost at least a pound.  So imagine how disappointed I was when the scale said otherwise.  The scale read that I gained 1 lb!  WHAT IS GOING ON?!??!?!?!?   Frustration doesn't begin to desribe it.   I'm not the kind to easily give in to anything so that's not an option, but I'll tell you what it did make me think twice.   On the bright side, I tried on a shirt I haven't been able to fit into in about 2 months and it fits.  It does give me some encouragement to start trying on clothes I haven't worn in awhile.  I'm sure others have felt this frustration.  Anyone else like to share?

Guess who's a big loser now???   As of this morning, I've lost 8 lbs. so I'm almost there.  My goal is to lose 10-15 lbs or more.  I'm hoping by the 29th I would have lost over 15 lbs., but I'm not going to pressure myself.  I know that working out with my son and staying away from bread has really been my push.  I really enjoy walking around our neighborhood and playing with my son in the yard.   He makes it so much fun to work out. 

So after having fun with the family last night, I got up this morning and went right into my usual routine.  First I went to the bathroom and then the scale.  And boy the scale just doesn't lie. I gained 1 1/2 lbs.  It used to be no big deal, but now that I have 11 days until my appointment with my surgeon, it's a big deal.  So it looks like I'll just dust myself off and go back to my old standby:  Protein shakes throughout the day and one meal in the evening.   I like the diebetic exchange but I feel like I'm eating way too much.  I feel way too comfortable.  I am looking forward to my walk with Joel this afternoon.  I think it's going to go well.  And I'm going to try to get my husband to go with us.  I am slightly apprehensive about going grocery shopping this afternoon.  


Later that day...


Went walking with my husband and son for about 20 minutes.  Grocery shopping was interesting.  All I really bought for myself was some brown rice and Slim Fast 6-pack (I was getting sick of the chocolate protein shakes).  Surprisingly, Slim Fast has a lot of protein in it....and is a nice change of pace.  Gotta go and finish some household chores. Ciao!

Lately I haven't been able to exercise for 30 minutes at one time so I decided to do situps for 10 minutes at a time.  I'm hoping that will be just as effective.   Although yesterday my family and I went out to play in the yard for an hour, it wasn't as active as I thought it would be...mostly because we (my son and I) had to get my husband in the playful mood.  Sometimes he gets uptight because of his job.  I think of our time in the yard as playtime for all of us.  

I  weighed myself this morning and haven't lost anything. Although I did weigh as soon as I got up and thought I'd gained, but then went to the bathroom and found I was actually the same.  Amazing how such a daily function causes such "weight gain".  Tonight is Family Fun Night for our family, so we'll go and rent a couple of movies and have dinner at Denny's (not really looking forward to that challenge...anyone have any tips?).  We usually go to 7-11 on the way home for Slurpees, but I think I'll pass this Friday.  Besides, I know my son will want mine instead.  

I'll admit that I've been trying to avoid physical activity to assist in my weight loss (pre-surgery) and I've been making excuses--even though my back and joints really do hurt when I exercise--that's still no excuse.  I was just thinking about my mom earlier.  She's endured so many physical challenges and yet she still manages to walk on her treadmill for atleast 7 minutes on the days she can.  So what was my excuse again???  That's what I thought... I have none. 

I'm realizing that I'm going into uncharted territory.  Over the years I have learned to accept my body the way it is and now I'm realizing that I'm going to be a totally new person.   I have NEVER been smaller than a plus-size, even as a pre-teen, so I can't imagine not being so.  And surprisingly that makes me uncomfortable.   

I can't believe I'm battling "fat girl syndrome" already.   Being smaller and closer to normal size is such a foreign concept for me.  It is literally uncharted territory in my life atlas.  While talking with my husband about my apprehensive thoughts as my surgery date approaches a lot of new things surfaced.  For instance, I realized that I do a lot of things to protect myself from judgment from others such as: 

-- I used to be really shy as a way to remove attention from myself

--My wedding day was wonderful but it was one of the most awkward days of my life because I had trouble dealing with having attention solely focused on me.

-- I would purposely be the last to leave the room in order to pull down my  shirt to cover myself completely

--I like shopping with my son, despite his 2 year old outburts (because he draws attention to himself) so that people don't focus on what I'm putting in my shopping cart
 

No longer am I waiting unitl the 13th for my scheduling appointment. Now it's been moved to August 29th, as requested by my dietician, who works regularly with my surgeon.  THIS IS AWESOME!!!  And amazingly nerve wracking.  I didn't think I'd get in this quickly, but I'm glad I am.  Pretty cool, huh?  I also got advice on how to approach my pre-surgery diet.  I'll be following the diabetic exchange system allowing for 2-3 milk servings per day, 4 starches, 3 fruits, unlimited vegetables, 6-7 proteins and 3 fats per day.  This is sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than living off of a liquid diet when I don't have to!  I'll wait for the liquid diet when I really have to be on it.    Okay.  Gotta go. It's time for a little nap.