Laurien G.
I know I shouldn't compare
Aug 13, 2007
I know that the worst thing I can do for my self-confidence is to compare myself with others, but I can't help but compare myself to my husband
. We're both on a liquid diet, he so he can lose some weight at a fast pace and me so I can prepare for surgery. Granted he weighs about 100 pounds less than me I can't help but be amazed that all he had today was 64 oz. low cal hydrating drink, one protein bar, 1 Campbell's soup at hand, 1 1/2 cups chicken broth and 1 low cal pudding cup. While here I am having 2 protein shakes, a couple (literally 2) of low cal pudding cups, 2 cups of chicken broth, LOTS of water, 2 low cal yogurts and a popsicle. We're kinda similar but I definitely have consumed more. Any comments, anyone???
. We're both on a liquid diet, he so he can lose some weight at a fast pace and me so I can prepare for surgery. Granted he weighs about 100 pounds less than me I can't help but be amazed that all he had today was 64 oz. low cal hydrating drink, one protein bar, 1 Campbell's soup at hand, 1 1/2 cups chicken broth and 1 low cal pudding cup. While here I am having 2 protein shakes, a couple (literally 2) of low cal pudding cups, 2 cups of chicken broth, LOTS of water, 2 low cal yogurts and a popsicle. We're kinda similar but I definitely have consumed more. Any comments, anyone???
Previous Journal Entry
Aug 13, 2007
I found a previous journal entry I would like to share:
I'm nervous
about the results of my surgery. I really want to lose over 65% of my excess weight but I know that means A LOT of effort on my part. I am going to have to use my tools the absolute best I can. My surgeon wants me to lose weight before surgery, but only what I can. I'm afraid that I won't lose any. I only have a month before the next time I meet with him.
My pivotal moment was two-fold. A few months ago my mom had heart surgery in which a valve was closed to prevent her from having additional mini-strokes. This pushed me to be more concerned about my own health, but not enough to really realize that my current life was being affected. A couple of months ago I finally quit a job that I had truly hated going to, even though I had only be an employee there for a few months, I knew from day one I wouldn't be happy. After quitting my job I went back to building my at home business, but found that there were a lot of road blocks in my way, primarily...ME! I was so wrapped up in food and how it comforts me and controls my daily thoughts that I couldn't concentrate on my daily work. For instance, I would take care of our house. I'd do the laundry, dishes, raise our son, but I couldn't bring myself to go out and interact with the public, whether it was through phone calls or meetings outside of our home. I'd rather spend the time thinking about what I would be eating for my next meal. As I sit here, I can't help but think about how many minutes of my life I have wasted by thinking about food.
To this day, it is a daily battle
that I'm ashamed to even tell my husband about. I really want to make our business work and grow and I believe the values behind it but even after I've eaten a meal I battle my mind telling me to continue to eat. I physically feel full (and yes I KNOW what that FEELS like) and yet my ghrelin is still telling me to eat. It makes me sick to think that my body has become my worst enemy.
I'm nervous
about the results of my surgery. I really want to lose over 65% of my excess weight but I know that means A LOT of effort on my part. I am going to have to use my tools the absolute best I can. My surgeon wants me to lose weight before surgery, but only what I can. I'm afraid that I won't lose any. I only have a month before the next time I meet with him. My pivotal moment was two-fold. A few months ago my mom had heart surgery in which a valve was closed to prevent her from having additional mini-strokes. This pushed me to be more concerned about my own health, but not enough to really realize that my current life was being affected. A couple of months ago I finally quit a job that I had truly hated going to, even though I had only be an employee there for a few months, I knew from day one I wouldn't be happy. After quitting my job I went back to building my at home business, but found that there were a lot of road blocks in my way, primarily...ME! I was so wrapped up in food and how it comforts me and controls my daily thoughts that I couldn't concentrate on my daily work. For instance, I would take care of our house. I'd do the laundry, dishes, raise our son, but I couldn't bring myself to go out and interact with the public, whether it was through phone calls or meetings outside of our home. I'd rather spend the time thinking about what I would be eating for my next meal. As I sit here, I can't help but think about how many minutes of my life I have wasted by thinking about food.
To this day, it is a daily battle
that I'm ashamed to even tell my husband about. I really want to make our business work and grow and I believe the values behind it but even after I've eaten a meal I battle my mind telling me to continue to eat. I physically feel full (and yes I KNOW what that FEELS like) and yet my ghrelin is still telling me to eat. It makes me sick to think that my body has become my worst enemy.
Physical Activity
Aug 13, 2007
Getting physical isn't exactly what I want to be doing...not because I don't like to but because it hurts. My goal is to walk with my son (in his stroller) for 20 minutes today. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but for me it is. I used to be pretty active years ago but have stopped since my ankles and knees cause pain during most physical activites. I'll be sure to report on how this experiment turns out.
Day Two: Liquid Diet
Aug 13, 2007
This is a much better day. I did, however, kind of cheat. I had three cracker cuts of cheese. I wanted some protein but I didn't want another protein shake. I realized that I really don't like jell-o but I do like sugar-free pudding, which along with lo-fat soup has become my best friend. I weighed in this morning and found out I've lost 3.1 lbs!!! Awesome. The downside is that I've been really, really tired lately. 
Normally I'm up by 7am, but today my son and I both slept in until 8:30! I wonder how my husband did today with his liquid diet? If anyone has any suggestions on liquid diet recipes, feel free to throw them my way. 
Normally I'm up by 7am, but today my son and I both slept in until 8:30! I wonder how my husband did today with his liquid diet? If anyone has any suggestions on liquid diet recipes, feel free to throw them my way.
Day One: Liquid Diet
Aug 12, 2007
Today I nearly killed my husband because I missed chewing my food! How crazy is that? I can do without meat. I have rarely ever had a craving for meat so I can do without that. Bread is REALLY hard for me to let go of. I went to the grocery store to pick up more soup, pudding, jell-o, and milk and passed by the freestanding French bread display. Admittedly I wanted to bring that loaf home but the thing that stopped me was trying to figure out what I would do with it once I'd eaten what I wanted. So I went through the check out lane and almost made it out of there until I saw the new Twix PB and totally gave in...and yes I did eat it in the car on the way home 
. My poor husband felt the worst of my diet wrath when I yelled at him for not taking the trash out. Looking back at it I know I was partially wrong but at the same time he is supposed to take the trash out on Thursdays and here it is Sunday and it still hasn't happened. So there.... 
I noticed that something that keeps me focused is visualizing myself much smaller and wearing something that I can't imagine wearing when I'm the size I am today. My husband is also going on a liquid diet so it's helpful to have someone else to identify with in person. I noticed that I've been desperately trying to find someone else to identify with. I've been going on YouTube a lot looking at the WLS/bariatric surgery videos available, especially those who have blogged about going through a liquid diet. Amazing how much I need identification when I have to give up my drug of choice. I never realized how much I just NEED food until I was trying to figure out what a liquid diet really consists of. I feel like a real addict when I cheat. And I also start to wonder what happened to all that will power I used to have when I'd exercise binge or when I'd stick to a diet for over a year at a time. I think that it's that I've been on so many diets I'm just tired... I just sick and tired of dieting so I've given up on being on an actual diet. At any rate, I'm really glad that I have my husband along side me, despite the fact that I am driving him up the walls. I told him I'm like this at the beginnig of every diet and it will just be a couple more days and I'll accept the fact that I have to be on this diet. That's just the way my dieting works.
. My poor husband felt the worst of my diet wrath when I yelled at him for not taking the trash out. Looking back at it I know I was partially wrong but at the same time he is supposed to take the trash out on Thursdays and here it is Sunday and it still hasn't happened. So there.... I noticed that something that keeps me focused is visualizing myself much smaller and wearing something that I can't imagine wearing when I'm the size I am today. My husband is also going on a liquid diet so it's helpful to have someone else to identify with in person. I noticed that I've been desperately trying to find someone else to identify with. I've been going on YouTube a lot looking at the WLS/bariatric surgery videos available, especially those who have blogged about going through a liquid diet. Amazing how much I need identification when I have to give up my drug of choice. I never realized how much I just NEED food until I was trying to figure out what a liquid diet really consists of. I feel like a real addict when I cheat. And I also start to wonder what happened to all that will power I used to have when I'd exercise binge or when I'd stick to a diet for over a year at a time. I think that it's that I've been on so many diets I'm just tired... I just sick and tired of dieting so I've given up on being on an actual diet. At any rate, I'm really glad that I have my husband along side me, despite the fact that I am driving him up the walls. I told him I'm like this at the beginnig of every diet and it will just be a couple more days and I'll accept the fact that I have to be on this diet. That's just the way my dieting works.
Quick Progress
Aug 10, 2007
It has been an amazingly fast week this week. My first appointment with Dr. Vierra (my surgeon) was on the 7th. My appointment with my dietician has been set for August 15th and the appointment for a psyche consult is for August 14th. Despite the fact that it was somewhat difficult to get an appointment with the dietician because of specifics listed by my insurance company, things have been going well. I've also set a second appointment (surgery date setting appointment) for September 13th. According to most of the testimonials listed by other members on this website, Triwet does a pretty good job with letting know about surgery approval within just a few days. I'm hoping this will be true for me, as well. The approval for the dietician's appointment went through quickly (less than 48 hours), so I'm hoping for the same with my surgery approval. I know such a thing is a lot to hope for.
About Me
Bloomington, IN
Location
32.0
BMI
Surgery
10/15/2007
Surgery Date
Aug 09, 2007
Member Since
